I Have Left MLP Forums 100 June 30, 2012 Share June 30, 2012 (edited) [Removed previously posted content. I've left MLPForums.] Edited November 19, 2024 by VioletLinked [Removed previously posted content. I've left MLPForums.] STREAMING LIVE! Quote my Posts if you want me to see your reply please! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jokuc 8,174 June 30, 2012 Share June 30, 2012 I can tell you like gorefics. I think it's okay written, it could maybe need some more information before the event. But I dont see why you shouldn't continue! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gingerpotato 889 June 30, 2012 Share June 30, 2012 She got what she deserved after all she did to Dashie. I can't fully cast judgement on this yet since there has yet to be an explanation behind Scoot's sudden urges to kill but it has good grammar (only one mistake I can see) and has a fairly mysterious opening. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
I Have Left MLP Forums 100 June 30, 2012 Author Share June 30, 2012 (edited) [Removed previously posted content. I've left MLPForums.] Edited November 19, 2024 by VioletLinked [Removed previously posted content. I've left MLPForums.] STREAMING LIVE! Quote my Posts if you want me to see your reply please! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WingMcCallister 368 June 30, 2012 Share June 30, 2012 There are some grammatical issues in there that could use some tweaking. I don't think it's a matter of should you write more. You kind of have to write more. Grit/gore without the back story is rarely enjoyable. I think you could elevate your story if you provided more of a base in terms of character development, especially the parts pertaining to Scootaloo's madness. What caused it? How deep does it go? I also recommend that writers try to plan how they intend to draw readers into their world. This is more difficult when it comes to fanfics because you have the added issue of trying to have your vision shine brighter than the world that already exists without completely unraveling that basis. These are all things I think you should consider while going forward. Original Characters? Guess I truly am addicted now... Wick I write and do physics too. Crazy, ain't it? http://www.cfxt.com Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
I Have Left MLP Forums 100 June 30, 2012 Author Share June 30, 2012 (edited) [Removed previously posted content. I've left MLPForums.] Edited November 19, 2024 by VioletLinked [Removed previously posted content. I've left MLPForums.] STREAMING LIVE! Quote my Posts if you want me to see your reply please! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moosefullaeggs 543 June 30, 2012 Share June 30, 2012 Keep writing. I adore gorefics. 1 Physical Health: 6/10Mental Health: -0.527/e Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
null123456 759 June 30, 2012 Share June 30, 2012 HOLY CRAP! D: Y U KILL PINKIE, SCOOTALOO! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
I Have Left MLP Forums 100 June 30, 2012 Author Share June 30, 2012 (edited) [Removed previously posted content. I've left MLPForums.] Edited November 19, 2024 by VioletLinked [Removed previously posted content. I've left MLPForums.] STREAMING LIVE! Quote my Posts if you want me to see your reply please! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
null123456 759 June 30, 2012 Share June 30, 2012 You'll learn soon! =3 On a side note... That was pretty cool. But I think the music I'm listening to right now isn't helping... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WingMcCallister 368 June 30, 2012 Share June 30, 2012 I have the writing style kinda like a movie. I throw out the main story, then slowly work it back overtime to explain things. If I write a part 2/part 3 it will clear a lot of questions up. If you want to keep people in the dark on explanations, then I definitely suggest expanding upon the deranged nature of her twisted character. For example, 'She could feel it inside of her, the temptation' could easily be embellished to give more insight into Scootaloo's feelings. Hooks are important. I'm not saying you have to give it all upfront. When people submit things like that to me, my response usually involves the words lab manual. However, I do think embellishing the emotional depth at the start will help with the hook. 1 Original Characters? Guess I truly am addicted now... Wick I write and do physics too. Crazy, ain't it? http://www.cfxt.com Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
I Have Left MLP Forums 100 July 1, 2012 Author Share July 1, 2012 (edited) [Removed previously posted content. I've left MLPForums.] Edited November 19, 2024 by VioletLinked [Removed previously posted content. I've left MLPForums.] STREAMING LIVE! Quote my Posts if you want me to see your reply please! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WingMcCallister 368 July 1, 2012 Share July 1, 2012 Thanks for the advice! =^-^= No problem at all. Although, all this talk about writing really makes me want to get back to it myself. Original Characters? Guess I truly am addicted now... Wick I write and do physics too. Crazy, ain't it? http://www.cfxt.com Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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