Modphase 1,273 September 24, 2012 Share September 24, 2012 Welp, here it is, the NUMBAH ONE. Yep, my first MLP fanfiction, proofread by the kind HylianMadness. I need a lot of constructive criticism on this, cause a lot of people didn't like it, so what do you guys think of it? http://www.fimfiction.net/story/52199/Blue-Moon%3F Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PonyEcho 1,610 September 24, 2012 Share September 24, 2012 (edited) iv'e just given it a quick read. well you rely got fluttershys personality down and i'm liking the drunk rainbowdash, the problem is your OC FireBolt he feels bland and just there. Which is why i think people didn't like it because it just became another 'my OC shipping with a member of the mane six or another character from the show' which is a formula that is over used. and its that concept that over shadows the stories execution. i'll may give it another read later for a full analysis Edited September 24, 2012 by PonyEcho 1 my DA http://heavyecho.deviantart.com/ check my stuff out the Anime Club http://mlpforums.com/topic/48196-the-anime-club/ plz join us Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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