Need Desperate Help

[Everyponysmiles 1]

First of all, im so so so sorry for posting this here.. I can't access the life advice section since im new.. But.. The MLP community is the only place where I think I can get help any more..

 

My life right now.. Is so confusing.. depressing.. and such.. But heres what I need help with:

 

I'm young, im almost 16, I don't know much about life, but Im getting in to the mind set of "You cant trust anyone, not even friends". The reason I think this? I have had 6 girlfriends, I have one right now, and she is my sixth.

But you know what? 5 of those girls cheated on me.

 

With the same guy.

 

This girl HATES that guy.. But.. I feel like I can't trust her.. Her ex-boyfriend is my best friend, and I went on her facebook recently and saw pictures of her and him hugging, pushing their cheeks together.. and just.. it hurt.. They were recent, from two days ago.

Her ex "lover" she met over the internet, is a 19 year old guy from Louisiana, before me and her dated she always talked about how sexy he was, how perfect he was, how much she loved him. (She is 15).

Im still jealous of that guy. She said she hates him, and he hates her, because he is jealous that I am with her.

 

Aparrently he is going to come down here to where we live, and torture her gruesomely to death. (Doubt it)

 

She has alot of guy friends, hangs out with alot of guys, hugs alot of guys, talks with alot of guys, and im a freakishly jealous person. I freak out A LOT. And I don't rationalize it, i just lash at her, and we usually just break up for a small time.. I cause all of these problems, not her, it is all my fault.

 

That, and I saw my friend talking behind my back about this girl.

That is why I think I can't trust anyone in life, and it is hurting.

 

I started talking with this girl 3 months before we dated, she was "in love" with that guy from Louisiana, I tried my *squee* hardest to be better than him, 3 months of crying every night, talking to her, being there for her.

And now, here I am, with her, making her cry every night, and breaking up so much.. I don't understand..

 

During those 3 months, I started cutting, and became a very very depressed person.. I haven't cut for about 2 weeks now, but me and this girl had another jealous outting and Im tempted to lash at my wrist right now, Thats why I am here, I need people to talk to.

 

On a side note, another thing that is wrong:

 

Saturday, my ex-girlfriend (who is a friend now) told me she was going to run away with some guy who wants to get her pregnant so he doesn't have to live with his dad. (She is 14). I told her it is a stupid idea, and she said she is still going to do it.

I drove to her house and told her dad about it, he said "My daughter is *squee*ing perfect, she would never do that, she is happy! No get the *squee* off my property before I call the cops!"

Typical dads.

She was at school today, and told me that she is going to have her brother come to my house tonight and beat me. (He is 18)

And Im home alone this week, so Im scared.

I did what I thought was best, I didn't want her to *squee* up her whole life.

 

Well.. thats my story..I just needed to vent.. and some advice on the trust issues.. Im sorry if its TL;DR.. But.. yeah..

 

EDIT: Forgot to add in, I've been thinking about killing myself.. It seems like life is full of lies.. I've tried once before to kill myself.. But it didn't work..

 

Thanks for listening guys.. Sorry if you really don't want this in this category..

Edited November 12, 2012 by Everyponysmiles

[Fridge 382]

This is a tough one. There are a few simple answers but simple doesn't always mean easy or even good (just need you to understand that before I go into anything).

 

I've been through something similar myself so I'll give you the choices that occured to me, they're simple choices but as I said they won't be easy or even nice.

 

1. Try to get over it

As I said not an easy one nor does it sound nice to say. It does mean you'll have to put some trust in her, remember that just because previous gf's have cheated doesn't mean this one will.

 

2. Talk to her about it

this is the best one I can reccommend, a relationship is always stronger when based on open communication and trust. Hide nothing... absolutely nothing. If she can't take your feelings then I'm sorry to say she likely isn't worth your time.

 

3. Speak to your friend

Get the truth from him, if he can't respect you and talks smack about you then he's no friend and you should remove him from your life. A toxic friend usually only gets worse.

 

Sadly you have to remember that at her age (and yours) emotions are high and so are hormones. The littlest thing can be blown all out of preportion. I know thats not helpful really but it is something you need to keep in mind.

 

Don't try to be better than him, thats a losing battle all the way. Be better than you, that sounds trite but you need to be the best 'you' you can be. If your being 'him' then who's being 'you'? And if she can't accept you for you then your better off without.

 

As for your ex. Believe me I doubt she'll get her brother to beat you up because that would mean she'd have to tell him why. And your right you did yuor best, you did right by her. Leave it at that, no one can ask more of you.

 

Now I shall say this last thing, in regards to your thoughts to suicide. Listen to this;

 

 

My fillyfriend attempted suicide once and now has a scar on her throat and does vocal exercises weekly to get her voice back to normal. She would tell you now that suicide isn't an answer.

 

I can't promise that any of these suggestion will work. Everything is very individual but I hope I've helped at least a little.

Edited November 13, 2012 by Fridge

[CloudFyre 848]

It's tough for me to watch something like this, especially when I've seen it all first hand. If I could ask you for one thing, it would simply be for you to hear me out on this.

 

My life right now.. Is so confusing.. depressing.. and such.. But heres what I need help with:

 

I'm young, im almost 16, I don't know much about life, but Im getting in to the mind set of "You cant trust anyone, not even friends". The reason I think this? I have had 6 girlfriends, I have one right now, and she is my sixth.

But you know what? 5 of those girls cheated on me.

 

With the same guy.

 

I have a personal friend that has gone through something quite similar. She's had at least six different boyfriends in the last year, and she had to separate herself from each one for various reasons - and I could tell it hurt every time that she had to cut the connections. And while it pained me to sit on the sidelines and watch, I also saw that it was a mixed blessing.

 

Why? Let me try and explain.

 

You sound like a person who takes relationships seriously. Thus, I assume that the reason for you finding a girlfriend is so that you can look towards the future. So let me pose this scenario to you: You've dated these girls, and over the course of time you've solidly flushed out their true character traits. Would you rather have these kinds of things happen now, when you have the time to gracefully step back, or would you rather have these things happen later, after you're already married? Obviously you'd want these things to come to light as soon as possible, so that hopefully you can find someone who genuinely wants to spend the rest of their lives with you. With time, that will come.

 

This girl HATES that guy.. But.. I feel like I can't trust her.. Her ex-boyfriend is my best friend, and I went on her facebook recently and saw pictures of her and him hugging, pushing their cheeks together.. and just.. it hurt.. They were recent, from two days ago.

Her ex "lover" she met over the internet, is a 19 year old guy from Louisiana, before me and her dated she always talked about how sexy he was, how perfect he was, how much she loved him. (She is 15).

 

The suspicion that you have is completely natural. I myself happen to be very suspicious of people in general, but what it does do is give you some of the strongest friends on planet earth. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I could place my life entirely in the hands of my closest friends, and they would not falter under any circumstances. I am that confident in their character. Again it simply takes time. Perhaps that's not as comforting as it seems initially, but trust me: once you have those friends, you're on solid ground. Your girlfriend should be one of those in your close circle. If you're both willing to give your lives up for each other, then you may have achieved one of the closest relationships on planet earth.

 

Im still jealous of that guy. She said she hates him, and he hates her, because he is jealous that I am with her.

 

She has alot of guy friends, hangs out with alot of guys, hugs alot of guys, talks with alot of guys, and im a freakishly jealous person. I freak out A LOT. And I don't rationalize it, i just lash at her, and we usually just break up for a small time.. I cause all of these problems, not her, it is all my fault.

 

That, and I saw my friend talking behind my back about this girl.

That is why I think I can't trust anyone in life, and it is hurting.

 

The biggest (and hardest) thing I can suggest is this: While I understand that nobody can truly forget what has happened, I would focus on other things. Read a book, pick up a hobby, watch some ponies, but do something to clear your mind. The mind is a double edged sword: it works wonderfully when we're not pressured, but our choices are very near-sighted when we're stressed. Maybe start by confirming whether or not this current girlfriend has been going behind your back or not, and if so, step back from everything temporarily. Give yourself some room to rest - making decisions under stress is a dangerous thing.

 

I started talking with this girl 3 months before we dated, she was "in love" with that guy from Louisiana, I tried my *squee* hardest to be better than him, 3 months of crying every night, talking to her, being there for her.

And now, here I am, with her, making her cry every night, and breaking up so much.. I don't understand...

 

I'll admit that I may not be as much help here. I haven't dealt with this as much, but here's a theory for you: competing with someone else is bound to cause some friction. Perhaps she is feeling too much pressure from both sides, and is having a hard time deciding what she should do. Humans are very reliant on routines. It's how we're wired. It's why we get up at specific times, why we make to do lists, and so forth. It could be that she's having a hard time trying to modify her routine. Either 1) she has to somehow tell you "no" without offending you, or 2) she has to admit to herself that she made the wrong decision by being in love with a different person (epsecially hard when she's invested time out of her own life only to realize that it was a waste in the end). Either way, it will be hard on her. It's not your fault.

 

On a side note, another thing that is wrong:

 

Saturday, my ex-girlfriend (who is a friend now) told me she was going to run away with some guy who wants to get her pregnant so he doesn't have to live with his dad. (She is 14). I told her it is a stupid idea, and she said she is still going to do it.

I drove to her house and told her dad about it, he said "My daughter is *squee*ing perfect, she would never do that, she is happy! No get the *squee* off my property before I call the cops!"

Typical dads.

She was at school today, and told me that she is going to have her brother come to my house tonight and beat me. (He is 18)

And Im home alone this week, so Im scared.

I did what I thought was best, I didn't want her to *squee* up her whole life.

 

You made the right choice. You're fighting to keep someone from getting hurt in the long run, even though they can't see it. I've said this earlier, but making choices under stress is dangerous. I'm sure you can see it as well as I can - she's making a shortsighted decision that's going to cause her a world of hurt if she decides to carry out her ambitions.

 

During those 3 months, I started cutting, and became a very very depressed person.. I haven't cut for about 2 weeks now, but me and this girl had another jealous outting and Im tempted to lash at my wrist right now, Thats why I am here, I need people to talk to.

Well.. thats my story..I just needed to vent.. and some advice on the trust issues.. Im sorry if its TL;DR.. But.. yeah..

 

I've been thinking about killing myself.. It seems like life is full of lies.. I've tried once before to kill myself.. But it didn't work..

 

I guarantee you: There is reason to live. I've been there, I've felt those emotions, and I've had those thoughts. I understand the motives for suicide, and that's something that no-one can say unless they've actually been there. (Seriously, to those of you who have never been in the situation: I highly doubt that you truly understand what's going on.) There are some absolutely astounding things in this world, and they definitely are worth living for. Don't ever convince yourself otherwise.

 

I also need to say one other thing: I'm being completely open here. I'm not just saying this to somehow "talk you" out of suicide, I'm saying it because I have been in your situation, and I've been able to say everything above with absolute confidence. If you ever need to vent to someone, Skype me, email me, PM me, etc. I'm always happy to chat.

 

You're life story has been truly amazing. Stay strong.

Edited November 13, 2012 by CloudFyre

[Everyponysmiles 1]

Thank you, both of you, you both helped alot..

 

I nearly cried reading both of those..

 

I understand.. When she gets home tonight, I will talk to her, and I will give her the truth on anything she wants to talk about.. I want to get this to work.. I want to be happy.. And I am going to try my hardest

[CloudFyre 848]

Thank you, both of you, you both helped alot..

 

I nearly cried reading both of those..

 

I understand.. When she gets home tonight, I will talk to her, and I will give her the truth on anything she wants to talk about.. I want to get this to work.. I want to be happy.. And I am going to try my hardest

Hey, that's what I'm here for. No matter what happens, let me know how everything turns out. If you ever need advice or just want to talk, hit me up.

Edited August 26, 2016 by CloudFyre

[Fridge 382]

Thank you, both of you, you both helped alot..

 

I nearly cried reading both of those..

 

I understand.. When she gets home tonight, I will talk to her, and I will give her the truth on anything she wants to talk about.. I want to get this to work.. I want to be happy.. And I am going to try my hardest

 

Thats a good attitude to have and I'll always be happy to extend what help I can.

 

Good luck, just remember there is a lot more out there to experience. Seriously live more and travel more and you'll see that many of the problems you have aren't actually a problem. Thats something I found out myself.

 

You sound like a pony who takes relationships seriously. Thus, I assume that the reason for you finding a fillyfriend is so that you can look towards the future. So let me pose this scenario to you: You've dated these fillies, and over the course of time you've solidly flushed out their true character traits. Would you rather have these kinds of things happen now, when you have the time to gracefully step back, or would you rather have these things happen later, after you're already married? Obviously you'd want these things to come to light as soon as possible, so that hopefully you can find somepony who genuinely wants to spend the rest of their lives with you. With time, that will come.

I agree to this, this holds up to an old theory I've had for a while. Each relationship is a lesson, with each 'failed' relationship you find something out about yourself and what you seek. You refine what you want and need and learn what to do and not to do on the way.

 

Its taken 7 long term girlfriends for me to get to the point where I can honestly say I want to marry this girl. Some cheated and some stole but all of them made me realise what I want. And I gaurentee that if you stick to it you'll find that for yourself.

[Nothing&NoOne 695]

Hi Everyone!!

 

I don't know what to do! I'm at a lose! I cannot style RARITY'S hair! My friend and I are having a competition to see who can style there pony the best, my friend isn't going to use a MLP pony she's going to use a MOXIE doll. Lots of people are going to be watching and I want to show my school that MLP is WAY MORE superior than other toys!

 

SOMEONE PLEASE HELP THE CONTEST IS IN A WEEK AND I'M DESPERATE FOR HELP!

 

 

http://mlpforums.com/public/style_emoticons/default/dry.png Do NOT post spam like this. Especially on a topic like this one. It's extremely rude.

(Sorry mods. It really annoys me.)

 

 

As for the ACTUAL problem, I think it's because you're looking for a serious relationship at a young age. (I'm 16, so...I know how you feel. XD)

Edited November 15, 2012 by Princess Nightingale

[Scootaloo122 0]

http://mlpforums.com/public/style_emoticons/default/dry.png Do NOT post spam like this. Especially on a topic like this one. It's extremely rude.

(Sorry mods. It really annoys me.)

 

 

As for the ACTUAL problem, I think it's because you're looking for a serious relationship at a young age. (I'm 16, so...I know how you feel. XD)

 

Ok,

Sorry I said that I'm really new to MLP forums and I don't know were to write my posts in. I'm sorry If I offended anyone. I didn't mean it.

 

From,

 

Scootaloo122