Harmonies of War

[Astral Empyrean 136]

HELP ME! I am thinking of making a Fan-Fic about how Equestria was once at war with a different race from another planet. And that Equestria had a highly established military, similar to that that of the USA. And how during the war there was mining operations going on to find the proper elemental gems to create the elements of harmony to fit into the princesses crowns. Finally when the elements are put together and used, they banish the other race to their home planet forever, establish harmony, eliminate all memory of the war, and rid the world of all weapons accept for the Royal Guards spears and armor. Thus creating the land we know as Equestria.

Here is my start, but I want some one else with Fan Fic experience to make the story. And by the way it does not need to be clean. Curse words! use em, just dont overboard on them. And by the way all creds go to you. just dont forget to mention my name. i did think of it after all!

 

SRY ABOUT THE CURSING OPENLY SHOWN IN THE ATTATCHMENT! SO PLEASE CALL ME OUT ON IT OR DELETE THE POST IF NEED BE. BUT AS I SAID IT DOES NOT NEED TO BE A CLEAN STORY!

 

Here it is... In the attachment

The Harmonies of War.doc

[Silverwisp the Bard 2,353]

I'm sure that Equestria has at some point been at war but it was probably waged with swords and spears (and some magic).

-The cursing makes you appear immature

-The whole behavior runs against established canon (the ponies know that strife creates winter)

-It needs serious spell-checking and looking at sentence structure

 

If you want to write a military-style fic, more power to ya but the whole setting does not fit wth MLP.

[Astral Empyrean 136]

I'm sure that Equestria has at some point been at war but it was probably waged with swords and spears (and some magic).

-The cursing makes you appear immature

-The whole behavior runs against established canon (the ponies know that strife creates winter)

-It needs serious spell-checking and looking at sentence structure

 

If you want to write a military-style fic, more power to ya but the whole setting does not fit wth MLP.

 

So? I've read plenty of fan fics like what im typing. and they were very good to. You ever read Griffon the Griffon on Fimfiction.net? Amazing story... And similar to this,and is the best Fan Fic I've ever read. And its called fan FICTION for a reason. You can think of anything you could possibly want, and make a story of it. And the cursing makes me look immature?!?!?! Please...If cursing makes people immature, then all people who have cursed before must be immature, from politicians, parents, ANYONE. But no it doesn't make you look immature, unless you are dropping the F-Bomb over and over again for no apparent reason. And now to spelling and sentence structure and spelling. I put this here because im no good with this kind of stuff. I have GREAT ideas, but don't have a talent of putting them into word form. So thats why im passing my idea onto others who have this talent.

Sincerely,

A VERY ticked off kid.