You are a Blank Flank - A Text Adventure

[Kinvara 117]

>Ask "What is your name?"

[Spider's Claw 213]

Fall further in love with her and sat yes.

 

This totally hot mare is totally attractive, and she's pretty intelligent too. You prefer your mares to be not-so-intelligent, but in this case, it benefits you. If she can help you destroy the royal family and Natural Harmonia, then it's all worth it. You accept her offer. She says great. You hand over the schematics.

 

>Ask "What is your name?"

 

You ask what her name is. She says her name is Fantasy Foxtrot, and then quickly adds, "did I mention I am not a princess?"

 

You say that sounds like a princess' name. She assures you that it is not. You ask why she has those things around her legs if she's not a princess. She says thanks for the schematics and leaves.

 

You can't help but think you've just been conned.

 

ACT 2

 

You were unable to move the statue. There was simply too much tape, and probably a layer of plot armor. So, you and your party members and allies and most of the royal family gathered in the SOLITAIRE CAFÉ, founded by Shuffle. You are currently discussing your plan of action. Shuffle volunteers to carry the two of you back to Ponyville. Winter points out that the doctor's body is missing, Igor probably took it, and might be reviving him. With a chainsaw. Tango is busy getting drunk on completely non-alcoholic beverages.

 

Moonlight asks what you want to do.

 

Natural Harmonia

Condition: Fine

Talent: Lvl 2 Protagonist

Inventory (1/4): Broken Earthquake Rings

 

Morning Glory

Condition: Fine

Talent: Magic

Inventory (1/3): Plastic fangs

[Linguz 140]

Ship.

[Kinvara 117]

Destroy the entire castle

[Spider's Claw 213]

Ship.

 

You suggest shipping. You pull out a piece of paper and start pairing off ponies. Winter walks over to you, slaps you in the face, takes the paper, tosses it to the ground, stomps on it, picks it up, tears it up, and feeds it to a very drunk Tango.

 

Destroy the entire castle

 

You say fine. You suggest blowing up the castle. Moonlight says that's a stupid idea and you're stupid for thinking of it. You say it was just a suggestion. A stallion walks into Solitaire.

 

"An incredibly moronic suggestion, if I do say so myself."

 

Moonlight's eyes widen. She asks what this new arrival is doing out of the castle. He says he heard all of his daughters were out of the castle so he came down here. He says he got into town a few hours ago, but he spent those hours signing autographs, getting mobbed by mares, and getting threatened by stallions who complain that he was caught in compromising positions with their wives.

 

 

He asks if you are the mare who defeated Doctor von Ponington. You say yes. You ask who he is.

 

He says he is the Emperor, Calico Conga. He then congratulates you on...

 

A waitress passes by. Calico follows her with his eyes, admiring that large... plot.

 

He then congratulates you on killing the doctor. Turns out he was kind of a prick. Also evil. Good work! He then asks his daughters where Fantasy is. Winter shrugs.

 

Calico invites you to stay in the castle. He then comments that you are a very attractive mare. He then once again invites you to stay in the castle.

 

Natural Harmonia

Condition: Fine

Talent: Lvl 2 Protagonist

Inventory (1/4): Broken Earthquake Rings

 

Morning Glory

Condition: Fine

Talent: Magic

Inventory (1/3): Plastic fangs

Edited November 14, 2011 by Spider's Claw

[Linguz 140]

Say as long as we ship.

[Spider's Claw 213]

Say as long as we ship.

 

"Ooooh yes, you can bet there will be quite a bit of shipping. Lots and lots of shipping. Copious amounts of shipping. In a variety of rooms. All over the castle. Every day."

 

He says just show up whenever. He then leaves Solitaire.

 

Winter takes out her communicator, presses a few buttons, and then asks the person on the other end what they are doing. She hangs up and says that Fantasy is too busy "inventing something" to come to the café.

 

Natural Harmonia

Condition: Fine

Talent: Lvl 2 Protagonist

Inventory (1/4): Broken Earthquake Rings

 

Morning Glory

Condition: Fine

Talent: Magic

Inventory (1/3): Plastic fangs

[Linguz 140]

Say you wanted to ship with him or her. You can't remember Fantasy's gender.

[Kinvara 117]

>Ask Winter about what Fantasy is inventing

[Spider's Claw 213]

Say you wanted to ship with him or her. You can't remember Fantasy's gender.

 

Winter clarifies that Fantasy is female.

 

>Ask Winter about what Fantasy is inventing

 

Winter goes back on her communicator and asks Fantasy what she's inventing. Winter hangs up. She says that Fantasy does not want to disclose that information.

 

Lightning strikes somewhere nearby. Strange, it's an otherwise sunny day...

 

Natural Harmonia

Condition: Fine

Talent: Lvl 2 Protagonist

Inventory (1/4): Broken Earthquake Rings

 

Morning Glory

Condition: Fine

Talent: Magic

Inventory (1/3): Plastic fangs

[Linguz 140]

Ignore it and ask if Fantasy is in any way related to me.

[Kinvara 117]

>Say that you don't want to be shipped with anyone at any point in this story

>Tell Winter that you need to find Fantasy and fast for danger is approaching and you need a way to protect yourself

[Linguz 140]

>Get mad at the first point Kinvara made.

>Tell Linguz to post a serious command as well as a joking one at least.

>Look for shelter due to the lightning that you ignored, but are now not ignoring. You don't want to get hit by it.

[Spider's Claw 213]

Ignore it and ask if Fantasy is in any way related to me.

 

Winter asks why Fantasy would be related to you, seeing as though she's a princess and all and you're not.

 

>Say that you don't want to be shipped with anyone at any point in this story

>Tell Winter that you need to find Fantasy and fast for danger is approaching and you need a way to protect yourself

 

You mention that you were just curious. It's not like you actually want any shipping or anything, you're fine with having an enormous and unrequited lesbian crush on Morning. You don't need anypony else.

 

Regardless, Fantasy should get here quickly. You suspect Igor or a revived Doctor von Ponington is up to no good, and you know it's going to get dangerous.

 

>Look for shelter due to the lightning that you ignored, but are now not ignoring. You don't want to get hit by it.

 

Fortunately, you're inside the SOLITAIRE CAFÉ and are perfectly safe! Or at least safer than you would be outside.

 

Another pony walks into the cafÉ, coming up to your table.

 

"Why, Natural Harmonia, I don't believe I've properly introduced myself! The name's Jack Daniels."

 

 

God you hate that guy. You ask why he's here. He say for two reasons:

1) There is lightning out there.

2) He wanted to let you know he'll be having his revenge soon.

 

Lightning strikes dangerously close to the cafÉ. Ponies walking in the street are all scattering and running back to their homes. You think you can hear a pony with a very exaggerated and equally poor German accent calling for you all to come out, but you can't be too sure.

 

 

Natural Harmonia

Condition: Fine

Talent: Lvl 2 Protagonist

Inventory (1/4): Broken Earthquake Rings

 

Morning Glory

Condition: Fine

Talent: Magic

Inventory (1/3): Plastic fangs

[Linguz 140]

Go find out who is talking outsdie outside.

[Kinvara 117]

>Request that Jack set aside his revenge plans for the moment and help them get rid of whoever is causing a lighting storm outside

[Spider's Claw 213]

>Request that Jack set aside his revenge plans for the moment and help them get rid of whoever is causing a lighting storm outside

 

You tell Jack that there's somebody outside that probably wants to kill everyone. Maybe we can put off the whole "revenge and regicide" thing and figure out what's going on? He agrees. He says he was expecting stuff like this, but the voice was distinctly not that of his partner. In fact, it was the opposite gender! Unless those wizardry rings allowed her to swap genders or something, and he would hate that because... no. Wait. Stop.

 

Go find out who is talking outsdie outside.

 

You all hop into the same party and run outside Solitaire. The streets have been cleared. A single pony stands in the road, if he could be called a pony.

 

Some hide remains. Most of his legs, though? Robotic. He's only about 20% pony anymore, 80% robot, and 1% German bastard.

 

"Helloooo, mein little ponies!"

 

You notice Doctor von Ponington has some new robot eyes to replace the ones you took out with your hoof.

 

Party:

 

 

Natural Harmonia

Condition: Fine

Talent: Lvl 2 Protagonist

Inventory (1/4): Broken Earthquake Rings

 

Morning Glory

Condition: Fine

Talent: Magic

Inventory (1/3): Plastic fangs

 

Moonlight Minuet


Condition: Fine


Talent: Spy


Inventory (5/6): Revolver | Electrosapper | Knife | Disguise Kit | Invisibility Watch

 

Winter Waltz


Condition: Fine


Talent: Princess


Inventory (1/4): Communicator

 

Sunny Shuffle

Condition: Fine


Talent: Lvl 2 Aviatrix


Inventory (2/5): Communicator | MANE CO. Key

 

Tuxedo Tango

Condition: Fine

Talent: Prince

Inventory (1/3): Scalpel

 

Jack Daniels

Condition: Fine

Talent: Jerk

Inventory (2/8): Rifle | Stolen Schematics

[Linguz 140]

Natural: Charge him with your earthquake ring clubs.

Morning: Use Jack's gun to shoot his eyes.

Moonlight: Use your revolver and knife and invisibility watch to backstab him.

Winter: Communicate with the guards for help.

Sunny: Attack him.

Tuxedo: Throw your scalpel at him. Why do you even have it anymore?

Jack: Be a jerk.

[Kinvara 117]

>Moonlight should use her electrosapper it seems like that would be most effective at defeating cyborg zombies.

 

>Is this discontinued?

[Spider's Claw 213]

>Moonlight should use her electrosapper it seems like that would be most effective at defeating cyborg zombies.

 

>Is this discontinued?

 

I actually wasn't updating because of the metric fuckton of work I had to do the past week.

 

But due to lack of interest, I am probably done and this is probably discontinued.

 

I would like to thank the two of you for sticking around though. The both of you are pretty gosh darn awesome.

Edited November 23, 2011 by Spider's Claw

[Linguz 140]

I actually wasn't updating because of the metric fuckton of work I had to do the past week.

 

But due to lack of interest, I am probably done and this is probably discontinued.

 

I would like to thank the two of you for sticking around though. The both of you are pretty gosh darn awesome.

 

It was a good run. Maybe some other time I might try something like this out. I thank you for introducing me to such a type of game/RP mix.

[Kinvara 117]

I actually wasn't updating because of the metric fuckton of work I had to do the past week.

 

But due to lack of interest, I am probably done and this is probably discontinued.

 

I would like to thank the two of you for sticking around though. The both of you are pretty gosh darn awesome.

 

Oh, I see...

 

This text adventure was well-done and it's a shame that more people didn't take interest in it.

 

I'm not sure if I'll visit this forum anymore, since this was the main reason I kept returning.

[Bunnybright 6]

Bunnybright