Elements (demo) - critique wanted!

[decoherence 183]

I did a little thing for you. It's just a demo but I hope you like it. Critique is welcome! Feel free to pick nits.

 

 

It will go on pony.fm once I've incorporated any good suggestions you make, and you'll be thanked in credits.

 

Thank you for taking the time to listen.

[poke_pony 1]

This is a good song and all but there are quite a few parts where the singer becomes off-beat, and if you took all the lyrics out it would just sound like a poorly made MK song for Rainbow Road, but all and all it's a good song.

[decoherence 183]

This is a good song and all but there are quite a few parts where the singer becomes off-beat, and if you took all the lyrics out it would just sound like a poorly made MK song for Rainbow Road, but all and all it's a good song.

 

Thanks for giving it a listen! Technically the singing is pretty on-beat (I made sure of that in post) but yes, there are a few times where i went with a later beat because, well, there's a lot of singing and my breathing technique isn't very good (and I vainly tried to do it all in one take) -- point is, if it *sounds* offbeat in an objectionable way, that's something that needs fixing, so thanks for pointing it out. One or two specific examples would be very much appreciated (just note the time in the track and the word that is 'off') so I can know exactly what you mean. It can be difficult for me to hear these things after listening to it however many hundreds of times, especially with vocals

 

Carbon Maestro has helpfully given me some tips on improving the instrumental portions. The whole thing will likely be redone once I've tweaked this demo to be as good as it can be.

 

btw i love the music for rainbow road so maybe that's where that's coming from

 

EDIT: I guess with the rainbow road comment you're maybe referring to the obviously sequenced piano stuff that you can hear most clearly near the start. Don't worry, that's probably going on the chopping block. It may appear later on in the song with a little more subtlety.

 

Thanks again!

Edited October 7, 2013 by decoherence