First Song Lyrics (could use tips and pointers)

[GameytheGeemer 147]

Well, I was walking my dog around an hour ago, and the chorus to an as of yet unwritten love song between an unnamed musician pony and Octavia.

So, when I got home I fleshed it out and here is the first attempt at writing a song.

Octavia
When this letter finds you
(wait, knowing the post it might not find her WELL)
Octavia
If this letter finds you
It means I think you’re swell
(what am I thinking, she hates words like swell)
Oh well, just read on.

Octavia- How can I Sa-ay
Octavia- I’m in love with you.
I have watched you from afar
And I can say for sure this love is true

(Instrumental 3 measures)

I can’t say why
But you make me smile
(So maybe this is what love is like)
I can’t say when
Prob-ly at the Gala
(though that kind of pokes a hole in the don’t know when)
Oh well, just read on

Chorus

(Instrumental 6 measures)

So now that you know how I feel
Will you, hopefully
Go with me
To the Grand Galloping Gala
As a date

Chorus

Also, I'm planning on learning how to make music via Synthasia and animation via flash and making this into my first music video.

 

-edit-

 

Wow, that was funny. When I posted this, my sig was my Octavia image.

Edited February 18, 2014 by GameytheGeemer

[Billy-Rex 54]

Sounds good so far, but I can't post my "final verdict" until I heard the song

 

If you need help in simulating instruments, call me. by the way: What kind of song is this and what instruments do you plan on using?

[GameytheGeemer 147]

Well, I'm planning on making it a classical style, with a single piano as the accompaniment.

 

I also need to work on getting Synthesia.

Edited February 18, 2014 by GameytheGeemer

[Billy-Rex 54]

Why Synthesia? Are you planning to learn playing piano? Or are you talking about a different Synthesia?

[GameytheGeemer 147]

Well I am sort of learning to play piano, I had thought that I could make music. Since that post I've downloaded and started fooling with Anvil Studios.

[Billy-Rex 54]

Ah okay. If you need any help with other instruments, PM me or look here: http://mlpforums.com/topic/83627-need-help-with-your-midi-arrangement/

[PlunderSteed 1,252]

Looking forward to hearing it. As Billy said, there's no way to know how well it works until we can listen to it along with the piano accompaniment.