Lightning Dust attempts the Sonic Rainboom

[myzz7 73]

As quick preface to the text below, this was the beginning for a story intended for the EFNW contest. However, I did not have time to pan the rest of the story out. I'm not sure to continue with the story, so thoughts about it is most appreciated.

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A turquoise streak shot through a blanket of clouds. Flecks of water whipped against goggles and slid into a bronze mane dampened, not by the moisture of the cloud, but by sweat flying off a stern forehead. Lightning Dust felt the peculiar sensation of the cloud’s cool kiss rippling on the surface of her wings while hot muscles frenzied underneath. Her eyebrows lowered, and a small smirk played across a thin mouth. The next second later, the pony became a gold and turquoise blur as she plummeted downwards into a wide blue, leaving behind a starburst of rain drops dazzling in space.

 

Two hooves pushed in front of her vision. They clasped together in a monstrous strain to pierce the air friction against her. Her eyes burned, her nose bit against the cold wind, and her heart thumped wildly into her eardrums.

 

Blackness began to creep in on all sides of her. Her vision was narrowing, threatening blindness from the blood seeping out of her eyes and back into her brain. Lightning Dust was an experienced flier who knew how to push herself to the brink. She did not panic. She clenched her teeth, she licked her lips, and she flew even faster.

 

A small vacuum of hazy air formed a cone around her.

 

Her hooves slipped apart shorter than it takes time to blink. She flinched; it was enough.

 

When Lightning Dust came to, she did not have to see the ceiling of the hospital to know she had failed. She did not have to spring upward to see the startled nurse slip to the ground and scramble out yelling. She did not have to see the doctor rush in and try to push her back down on the bed. She did not have to see anything; all she was aware of what she did not hear: the Sonic Rainboom.

 

A week later, Lightning Dust stood at the front desk of the hospital, ready to be discharged. A doctor with askance glasses over nervous eyes rested a hoof over her shoulder.

 

“As a doctor, I can say you’re lucky to be alive, and as a pony with common sense, I can say there won’t be a next time if you crash at that speed. Please… never attempt the Sonic Rainboom again.”

 

Lightning Dust stared into his soft eyes and saw he could never begin to understand. Her mind flashed the scene of Spitfire ripping off a golden Wonderbolt badge.

 

With the intensity of a maniac, she answered, “No.”

---

A young colt sped on his scooter through a sleepy Cloudsdale neighborhood. He rubbed one eye, picked up a newspaper bundle from the back basket of his scooter, and tossed it at a house. The newspaper knocked over a plastic gnome. He yawned and continued to the next house. As he rounded into a new street for his paper round, he saw a turquoise pony speed off into the veil of pink clouds high above. He stopped, scratched his head, and rode on as the sun crested over the crimson rooftops.

[Phoenix Flam 48]

That is wonderful.   I to am a writer and i like what you have written.

[Justin_Case001 4,891]

Hmm.  Not bad.  Not bad.

 

Me like.  You are definitely a talented writer.  Now I want to read moar!!

[myzz7 73]

Hmm.  Not bad.  Not bad.

 

Me like.  You are definitely a talented writer.  Now I want to read moar!!

Awesome House MD picture. As an aside, I marathoned through all 8 seasons in two weeks.

 

This tidbit of a story was okay, but I don't think I am going to do anything else with it. I tried figuring out how to work a believable conflict with the idea and I haven't gotten there. Perhaps there will be more in another idea for a story sometime soon.