Evilshy gives a play-by-play of the Technoviking video

[Evilshy 5,090]

Technoviking is one of the most badass people to ever grace our world. You can see him in action in this video:

 

 

 

For those who couldn't quite understand the awesome, here's my analysis:

 

We start out with some chick with dyed hair. She can't dance, but she does have some pretty nice pants.

At about 0:37, some douche in a black wifebeater runs up and half-assedly tackles her. But this was a mistake, because someone is nearby. Someone who doesn't like seeing idiots messing with chicks who have nice pants. In fact, he probably doesn't like seeing anybody mess with anybody, because he is the only one allowed to mess with people.

 

At 0:39. Enter the Technoviking.

 

Technoviking tells this dude what's up. He tells him that he needs to stop messing with people. And at 0:48, he tells him to get the fuck out. And since the dude doesn't wan to die, he does. But Technoviking doesn't fuck around, he makes sure he leaves, and at about 1:00, we clearly see him making sure the dude doesn't return. He doesn't.

 

The group start walking. At 1:15, some dude with shades, acting all chill as fuck, hands Technoviking some bottled water, and Technoviking drinks it. There have been several theories as to what was actually in that bottle, ranging from water to vodka to the blood of virgins, and personally, I believe the latter.

"But Evilshy, it's clear! Blood is red!"

Oh, shut up. It's obvious that he drained the blood of a virgin and then stared at it until the blood plasma (which is clear) separated itself from the hemoglobin (which is red). He only drinks plasma, because hemoglobin is rich in iron, and if this guy had anymore iron, he'd start growing plate armor for skin, which would impede his dancing skills.

 

Wait, dancing skills? Who said anything about dancing skills?

 

Technoviking did.

 

At about 1:30, Technoviking busts out his crazy dance moves. You can see the crowd back away, because they know what is happening. At about 1:34, SHIT GETS REAL. Had anybody stayed within a few feet of Technoviking, they would be dead by now. Because no human can withstand that much awesome, except for the Technoviking himself, obviously.

 

After we watch him dance like a boss, another dude with shades similar to those worn by the dude who handed him the water hands him a small piece of paper. This is at about 1:57. Technoviking reads it, but is temporarily interrupted by a song change at 2:07. He seems to approve of the new song, and the DJ sighed in relief.

We will never know what was on that paper, but it clearly wasn't good enough for Technoviking, because at 2:14 he rips that shit up.

While he's ripping it up, we can assume somebody told him to hurry up and dance already, because at 2:16, technoviking tells someone to slow the fuck down. And actually, it is suspected that he not only told him this, but also sent out a tendril of pure awesomeness directly into the dudes brain, because at 2:38, the camera turns to point in the general direction of where technoviking was pointing, and sitting there is some guy who looks like he just suffered blunt force trauma directly to the cranium.

 

At 2:54, we return to the Technoviking, who is not the only one dancing anymore. His pex are also dancing, and they're almost as good as he is. After about a minute, the camera starts to experience difficulty filming this degree of win, and it fades out. The camera man cleverly covered this up by adding some titles and stuff to make it look intentional, but we know what really happened.

 

 

And that, my friends, is Technoviking.

Edited October 23, 2012 by evilshEYE

[Vicke 3,189]

A true Swedish viking right there!

[Cosmic Charlie 129]

Video is currently being dumb, so here's another copy of it.

 

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VudJpH-ytH4