… – Vinyl Scratch

Summary
Cranky Doodle Donkey and his love Matilda are set to get married on the morrow, when the aptly named one mentions that everypony is asking him if he is nervous about getting married… today! Realizing that the invitations are for the wrong date, the asinine pair (no, that’s not an insult, that’s literally the latin term meaning “donkey”) rush to finalize the preparations a full day early. Hijinks ensue. Memes ascend. The wedding eventually goes off without a hitch, thanks to the Power of Wubs. Wow. That is literally the shortest summary I’ve ever written.

Analysis
First up, let’s get a few things clarified before I review this strange offering: one part episode, one part congratulatory hand…. shake for the brony community.

Yes, the episode is very heavy on the fan service. And in some ways, that really annoys me. When I saw that Cranky was shouting at the pony who had made the mistake on the invitations, that it was Derpy messing something up again, and even worse, her first instinct is to placate him with muffins, I literally double face-palmed. I just sat there, head in hands, weeping inside, until the opening credits ended. And then I sucked it up and continued to watch the episode, because I try to reserve judgement on an episode until I’ve seen the whole thing (usually more than once too). And the fan service just kept coming.

Fan service will always be a very subjective thing. I don’t care for it, in general, unless it’s subtle enough not to be a distraction from the story. That claim isn’t valid here, the fan service is front and center, interwoven as it is with the central “rushed wedding” story. And yet that story could have been told without it. Cranky and Matilda’s story is also Pinkie Pie’s story, so it could have been a Mane Six episode. (Did she even get a line? In the episode which central situation she was instrumental in bringing about? For shame.) I consider it a bit of a waste of a plotline to sacrifice that potential to serve as the vehicle for a “day in the limelight” for the (popular) background ponies of Ponyville.

But here’s the thing I really want my readers to understand: apart from the above caveat, I can make peace with the fan service. And I don’t think it should influence how one views the quality of the episode, either positively or negatively. Sitting through this episode was somewhat of an ordeal for me, but that doesn’t in itself make it bad.

And for those of you who also found the fan service hard to stomach, think of it this way: the writers obviously took the most popular and well known fan theories to ratify into canon. Essentially, they’re giving us what was voted by the majority of the brony community as the most popular! Democracy in action! If you don’t like it, you’re probably not part of the majority whom they were trying to please with it. Whether this point makes you less critical of the fan service, or more critical of the concept of democracy, isn’t for me to choose. It makes for an interesting case study of memetics, too.

To reiterate: the fan service aspect of this episode isn’t going to change my opinion on it. Disclaimers out of the way, let’s move on.

The Hugz
There are plenty of returning cameos, continuity nods and the like. Listing them all would take a really long time. I’ll focus on just a few.

The sea monster / serpent reappears, now definitely named Steven Magnet, and we find out that he’s an old friend of Cranky, and they had many wacky adventures together. I like this, it makes a connection between previously unconnected characters, harks back to Cranky’s comment that he’s “made many friends” in his journeys around Equestria and creates an awesome pair of bookends. There’s also the part where Steven cuts off one half of his beloved MUstache to serve Cranky as a replacement wig. A touching moment, and more proof that experiencing generosity leads to one showing generosity. Rarity influences this episode just by her pure generous awesomeness!  

It rubs off on everyone!

Speaking of the wedding, I really enjoyed seeing that Changeling (another odd friend of the groom, it seems). If I liked nothing else about this episode, I would consider that worth the price of admission! His or her reaction to the other guests staring at him or her is great.

There was also the interesting aside with Derpy's eyes, where we see that she can straighten them for a while if she wants to. This detail retroactively explains an observation I had made (but never pointed out) about Season 1's episodes: apart from the pilot, and up until "Feeling Pinkie Keen", Derpy (or perhaps I should say Ditzy Doo) was actually lacking her trademark derp. Every time she was in a scene, her eyes were straight. Obviously, about that time, the staff became aware of the popularity of "Derpy" and decided to roll with it.

The Shrugz
I can handle the confirmation of Vinyl and Octavia being house mates, (since I never cared about it one way or the other) but the decision to split the house down the middle as a representation of their… oppositeness… makes me tilt my head.

Hey, Octavia, Vinyl: Two-Face called. He wants his house back!

Hmm, Derpy and the Doctor. I know this was always one of the most popular theories, but where is the evidence in the show proper that these two spend much time together, before this episode? Lyra and Bon Bon are inseparable from way back within the show, but Time Turner (or are we now meant to call him The Doctor or is his name Doc, like the dwarf?) and Derpy aren’t usually seen together. Heck, the last time I remember seeing him, he was walking around with Roseluck! In fact, I don’t see much point in the entire sideplot with the bowling ponies, it just seemed to take up time while not adding much. Then again, maybe that’s just the episode trying to justify its title with some navelgazing. Either way, this is one of the more complicated and problematic elements of the episode.

Hey, Doc: Tom Baker called. He wants his… oh, wait, I did this joke already. Never mind.

Gummy being a Catatonic Philosopher is just a straight up stolen idea from “Bravest Warriors”, as in the Paralyzed Horse. It’s also somewhat difficult to reconcile with the scenes where we’ve seen him actively doing stuff, like trying to catch the balloon in “Party of One”, or affectionately biting Pinkie like in “Feeling Pinkie Keen”. It works as a gag, though… barely.

The last really important relationship explored in this episode was the Lyra and Bon Bon / Secret Agent Sweetie Drops. A nod to the “official” vs fan-made name issue there, props. It also seems that Celestia is not above a little governmental conspiracy and cover up. What else is Spymaster Celestia hiding from the pony populous, one wonders?

But of course, the main controversy here is the whole shipping aspect. While the two ponies frequently repeat that they are just “best friends”, you’d have to be naïve to believe that settles anything. Fans who ship these two are not going to be put out in the slightest. Let’s be honest, there’s no way the writers could make any kind of romantic connection explicit, so the “best friends” line proves exactly nothing. In fact, it sounds very much as if they’re trying hard to convince themselves of that…

“We’re just best friends!”

“But what about, you know... last night?”

“Oh, that was just ‘best friend’ sex… Meant nothing.”

“But…”

“Oops! Gotta go!”

"Wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am? I guess you really ARE a secret agent!"

You see my point.

The Bugz
The flower trio gets a really awful treatment here. In “Applebuck Season”, the joke works because their reaction to a life threatening stampede of cattle is the same as their reaction to a distinctly less severe stampede of bunny rabbits. The overthrow of expectation provides the humour. If they overreact in the same way to EVERYTHING, then there is no overthrow of expectation and so that humour is vitiated. In an episode dedicated to expanding on background characters, this flanderization is extremely out of place and jarring.

I don’t want to say the resolution was forced… but it was. Seriously, Vinyl and Tavi burst out of their house in a “Wubmobile”, pick up the bride, groom, cake, and guests accidentally, fly through the air while reflected in Gummy’s eyes in one of the trippiest sequences this show has produced, they crash into city hall… and then everything literally falls into place, including the three layer cake! That somewhat strains credibility.

The closing thoughts from Twilight were unneeded, too.

Pros: Plenty of continuity; some fan favorites get a bit of development.
Cons: Really forced resolution, some characters are flanderized far too much.

Final Thoughts
Many fans have opined that this episode should somehow be given a free pass from criticism, because it’s a gift to the brony community. I think no episode should get a free pass. It should be treated as any other episode. Does that make me ungrateful? Maybe. Just because it’s a present, doesn’t mean I have to appreciate it. If my cat leaves a dead rat on my pillow, it being a present doesn’t change the fact that I’m left with a rat corpse… and a reason to incinerate my pillowcase. Or, in a slightly less extreme example, let's suppose someone gives me a gift of some kind of food I really, really don't like the taste of. In reality I might be forced to tell a bit of white lie to avoid hurt feelings, but here, there's really no need to pretend to be happy if I hain't.

For those who want to somehow disavow this episode’s canonicity on the same grounds, that’s a no-go too. This episode happened, it is canon. Deal with it. Speaking of that, while I find a certain sly amusement in the fact that Derpy is now canonically called “Muffins” (Check the closing credits), I feel Derpy’s fans should be a little more put out by the fact that the writers didn’t even have the balls to use her true name in the credits. Not that it’ll make her fans stopping thinking of her as Derpy, of course. Nor should it. I’m still going to use it to annoy ‘em, though!

If you liked the fan service, that doesn’t mean I think there’s something wrong with you. If you like fanon becoming canon, more power to you. It’s simply not to my taste, and I feel like the plotline of Matilda and Cranky had potential was not realized in order to shove in as much of that as possible. Once you strip the fan service aspect away, you’re left with a pretty middle of the road episode. It’s not terrible, but it’s certainly not anywhere near the best the show has produced.

Final Ranking
Rarity’s Cutie Mark Rank – A scintillating story! Sure to be rewatched frequently.
Rock Candy Rank – A highly enjoyable episode, but it couldn’t avoid a cavity or two.
Tom Rank – Average. While it looked like a diamond, it turned out to be just a rock.
Boulder Rank – Below average. Take it out once or twice, then leave it in your pocket.
Rock Farm Rock Rank – A terrible episode. Leave it where it lies.

May the next episode be less contentious (than the previous two), and as always, stay sunny side up!