This blog is an extended response to this thread: http://mlpforums.com/topic/118166-you-have-been-granted-3-wishes/

I wrote that I would decline all three wishes, and I really do feel that way. I know, it makes no sense... it defies everything most people would probably think, but I am very firm in this decision. There are a few reasons why, but I'll get to that in a bit.

This seems especially weird, considering that this time last year I was severely depressed. I saw tremendous issues with my life, and I was worried that I would not be able to overcome them. Of course I would have had many wishes. I did have many wishes.

It is true that my state of mind has increased dramatically since this summer, but there are some other things going on at work here. This time last year, I would have wished for the following things:

1. Someone I love to be my girlfriend
   
2. Someone else to talk to and keep me company when she's gone
   
3. Increased attractiveness/charisma so that more people like me
   

Look, I'm not the guy to want a whole bunch of things. I often make jokes about wanting a hundred cars to drive, or a computer so powerful that it needs to be near a hydroelectric power plant... but that's all a jest. I really don't want much in life.

I have most of everything that I need; money isn't an issue for me. I grew up poor, so I'm used to living an easy, simple life without unnecessary spending. When I was a baby, my family was on food stamps. I grew up being told that I couldn't have any toys because they wouldn't fit in the budget. But when I was a sophomore in high school, my father graduated with a master's degree—his income went up by a factor of 3x and off into the triple digits. Since then, we've all had more spending money than any of us know what to do with.

I have a plan to go to school, get a good paying job, and buy a house. That's all stuff I can do on my own, and that's my goal for the next 5 years or so. If I wish that I suddenly have all of that, I'll be wishing those five years away from my life. I'll miss out on a whole breadth of life experiences.

So, based on this line of thinking, nothing of physical or monetary value is of much interest to me. I have a car of my own, an apartment of my own, a decent computer, and I'm getting a good education without having to work a retail job or pay off any loans. What more could I really ask for, really? It's not that I hate my life... in fact, I actually love it.

The reason why I was depressed can be answered by the things I would have wished for. This time last year, I was going through the most painful thing I've ever been through—heartbreak. It didn't just smack me around; it had me crippled. I went through the entire grieving process for about two years before I started to make a recovery.

I had no friends I was comfortable talking to, and because of the nature of the situation, I was convinced that I was completely unlikable and worthless. Of course it's ridiculous to think those things, but I did think them. I had empirical evidence to believe it. I saw that no one appreciated me, no one cared about me, and, at times, no one would even talk to me.

Any wishes I made would have been to alleviate the pain that I felt. I would have changed things around, so that I was a likable person with a working social life. I would have made sure that she liked me, and if not her, then at least someone did.

Crazy? Yes! Of course! That's the point! That's why I would decline my wishes, if I were given them today.

In this past year, I've come to realize that I am a likable person. I've realized that I'm not worthless. I've realized that I do have friends, and there are people I can talk to. A large part of that is because of this site, and an even larger part of that is because of MLP: FiM and the brony fandom as a whole. The largest part of that was removing a certain crappy person from my life.

Since then, I've just come to accept that whatever happens, happens. I've gone through a lot of pain from that bout of depression, but it's made me a wiser, stronger person. It's produced a lot of good things, including a 250k+ word long fanfic. It's allowed me to reflect on so many of my own beliefs and desires, and develop a greater understanding of so many fuzzy concepts.

There was a time when all I wanted was someone to love me, and I do still want that... but since I see that I am worthy of love, I know it can wait. It may not happen this year, next year, or even the year after that. Still, I can be patient. Thanks to all the positive support I've received from all the new and old friends I've talked to this past year, I am confident that it will happen eventually.

And as long as I know that, I can be happy.

I have a good life. Aside from that one hump, things have gone well for me in the past, and I predict things will go well for me in the future. I really don't feel the need to make any wishes, because I'd actually rather not mess anything up.

In a way, living the life I have—especially after overcoming this depression—is already like a wish come true.