I was going to,
do this entry in poem,
but fuck that dumb shit.

 

/haiku

 

It's the holidays, and you know what that means!

 

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PRESE-wait, no...

 

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VIDEO GA-no, I did that...

 

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VACATIO-no, no, no...

 

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SWARMS O-whoops, that's irrelevant...

 

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It's...the holidays and...it's time to...time to WRAP IT UP....???????????

 

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..,

 

Well...you could wrap up...your presents....

 

Okay, so, like I said, this will be my last review of the year-(EVERYONE: HAAALLELUJAH)...before I return on January 4th...(EVERYONE: Dammit!).........so...........err..............intros are gay, let's cut to the review.

 

This is a spoilers review, so if you haven't seen "Winter Wrap Up," LOL YOU SUCK!

 

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LOL

 

So this episode opens up with Twilight in her bed, no doubt dreaming of being a princess. All of a sudden, she wakes up in excitement of the fact that today is Winter Wrap Up day! Spike awakens with the line "Mommy?" which is, when you think about it, kind of fucked up. No time for Spike, though, we never have time for Spike, as we must move the plot along! As Ponyville was started by Earth Ponies, they've never used magic to change the seasons. Instead, they clean it up themselves. Yay.

 

Twilight, still running from the angry townsfolk that want her Grand Galloping Gala tickets...by running to the townsfolk.

 

Everypony is ready to do their part in helping clean up winter and make way for Spring. Because, you know, winter's so last month. Fun fact, it was the day before Christmas when this episode aired. I guess the writers found the irony of the plot hilarious as well. I'm on to you fuckers. In the town square, the Mayor is commissioning everyone's assignments, and appoints everyone to their three team leaders: Applejack, Rainbow Dash, and another background pony that the fandom has probably named at this point. I will call her...wait...is she....O_O

 

PURPLE?!?!??!!

 

REJOICE, TWILIGHT! YOU ARE NO LONGER THE ONLY PURPLE PONY IN PONYVILLE! OH AT LONG LAST, YOU HAVE FULFILLED THE OPPRESSION OF YOUR PEOPLE! Meanwhile, Twilight doesn't know what team she exactly fits on. Well, that sets you guys back like, 1,000 years. Forget what I said, in that case. Alright, so, as we continue on...we....

 

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No...it...it can't be...

 

 

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NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

 

SON OF A PIP! SON OF A FUCKING PIP!

 

The FIRST grandiose musical number on this show! Now I know why this episode is so memorable! This episode officially turned this show into a musical! Well, at least this song's catchy. Fuck you, Ingram.

 

Alright, yeah, so, they sing about cleaning up and stuff. There's so much to do, Applejack can now legally be addicted to celery stalks and colorful flowers too for one day. Unfortunately, Twilight still doesn't know where she quite fits in, so she decides to shop around and see what exactly she can *Saves Draft* help out with.

 

Alright, I demand to know who turned out the lights. Is this some kind of racist joke? Are you trying to say something?

 

Twilight first visits Rainbow Dash to see if she can help her, but Twilight forgets that she doesn't have wings yet and is told to go away. She then visits Rarity in hopes to help her build nests. I bet she builds a lot of nests. Teehee. Anyway, Twilight sucks at building nests (and remembering things, but that's another issue entirely) as Spike says one of the funniest lines of season one, if not the whole series. Rarity says her nest isn't so bad, she says that they can probably "use it as a...uhm..." *spike interrupts with deadpan delivery* "an outhouse."

 

lel

 

After I spend 41 minutes laughing, Twilight decides to visit Lord Pinkie, who is skating on the ice to help cut lines in it so that it will break easily. Lord Pinkie is so clever, we should worship her. Twilight tries to help, but she sucks at that too. Twilight sucks at everything. Lord Pinkie refers Twilight to Fluttershy, who is telling all his friends about his sex change. Nah, actually, he's just waking the little critters from their hibernation. Twilight tries to help him, but she wakes up a shit ton of snakes, bats, and bees that attack her.

 

Even bees hate purple ponies.

 

Twilight gets frustrated because she can't use magic but can't find something to do. She needs to try something simple, so she chooses Applejack to help her with her drug farm. However, since she's too weak to push the snow mover thingy, she uses magic to do things faster. That mucks shit up more. 10/10. This pisses everypony off, even the Doctor (and we all know what happens when you piss him off), and that makes Twilight sad. She then commits suicide

 

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The End

 

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However, she undoes her suicide when she hears everyone bickering in town square. See, even though Winter Wrap Up is a tradition, they keep getting things done late because they're so disorganized. Purple ponies are naturally organized, however, and Twilight says "fuck you, I can eat organize all these apples ponies!" And so Twilight helms the ship and creates checklist after checklist after checklist to get shit done! After a montage with the "Winter Wrap Up" instrumental, Twilight earns her Team Organizer badge vest and becomes Princess of Organization.

 

Hooray! You're different from us!

 

Twilight writes some crap to Celestia and Spike falls asleep. And so ends "Winter Wrap Up!"

 

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Well, this episode is certainly enticing. It's a very interesting narrative to follow all the way through, even into the musical number, as Twilight struggles to find her place in Ponyville's wrap-up tradition. And in the end, when she finally fulfills her goal, we too feel a sense of completeness that was almost completely absent from any episode prior (aside from "Look Before You Sleep," of course). I quite enjoyed this episode very much, however, I think it's overrated. I've seen a lot of people overtly praise this episode secondary to its story, in favor of the fact that it was the first episode with an "official" musical number. Sure, we had short tunes from Pinkie Pie in the pilot, "Ticket Master," and "Bridle Gossip," but this was the first full-fledged explosion of song complete with cheesy melodies and out-of-place choreography. While I admit that the song is catchy, it's not the best MLP song by a long shot. Therefore, completely disregarding the song, the bare bones of this episode amount to being, well, passable. Regardless of how overrated it might be or the weakness of the bare structure, I must say that the enjoyable conflict, the completeness of the resolve, and Spike's "outhouse" joke make me rate this episode a 9/10.

 

And that's all I have to say about that.

 

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Well, that's it for me this year, folks. I'll be going on vacation and won't be back to do reviews until January 4th, but that's okay! When I come back, we've got a lot of ground to cover! We've still got 15 episodes of season one, and the entirety of season two, on top of the premiere of season six (whenever it airs)! As a matter of fact, what's the first episode I get to review when I come back?

 

 

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The first Cutie Mark Crusader episode

 

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NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHappyHolidaysOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!