equestria girls rewrite Fanfic idea: an Equestria Girls rewrite (part 4)
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 5
Part 6
For easy sake, two stretches of dialogue are color-coordinated. You'll get the color matched to the character first, and then just the color dialogue.
Keeping contact
Family is one of Pinkie's values. Like Dash's view on friends with the ReMane Five, if any of the Mane Six believes they can't be friends with Pinkie anymore, God forbids what happens. When she witnessed the Mane Six suddenly acting suspicious, she honestly believed they don't want to come to her parties nor want anything to do with her. Her heart fell completely apart. Enter Cheese Sandwich; when Dash accidentally insulted her party practices, Pinkie's poofy hair deflated.
For those who read the first three parts, Pinkie Pie and Sunset have a close sisterly relationship, but Sunset chose to reunite with her biological mom and dad in Equestria for a couple of days and then alternate back and forth every morning. But after Pinkie peaked through Sunset's journal and then said they'd be better without her here, it'd crush her. Think about the fact that Sunset'll have to decide where to live once the portal closes. Not a chance would she want to be separated from her sister.
Solution: Vainly as it may be, there is a way for the two to communicate while Sunset is away with her mom, dad, and young brother. Before Sunset temporarily departs, she hands Pinkie her journal and special pen. Anytime she wants to contact her, use it. She'll receive the message, and she'll write back as soon as possible. No portal will close this. One hug to her and the rest of her friends, she departs through the Portal along with Twilight, Spike, and Princess Celestia. Pinkie tries to follow, but her hand only touches stone.
Back in Canterlot, she sees a lot has changed. The Reflection Room, which had gray and white when she ran away, was painted red and gold. Celestia's copy of Sunset's journal sat to her right. The door to leave the room was in front in white brass. Sunset was shocked that Twilight was an alicorn and that Spike was a dragon. When they left the room, the ReMane Five, Cadance, Shining Armor, and Luna awaited. Sunset couldn't believe it when she saw Luna.
Sunset: The legend…really is true.
Luna bowed: Princess Celestia fondly told me so much about you.
Sunset: I don't understand.
Twilight: It's a long story.
As they walk to Sunset's family's quarters, everyone explained what happened during all that time, from the Elements of Harmony being freed to Luna's redemption to Twilight's ascension. It was Twilight's first assignment as Princess of Equestria since her coronation, and Twilight felt the portal open through her horn.
Sunset: But how can you feel it open through your horn? Is it the alicorn underneath your horn that caused it?
Celestia: I did, too. Little sister, did you?
Luna nodded.
Spike: Not me, but my spines tingled. *shiver* Colder than the coldest day at The Crystal Empire.
They kept talking till they arrived in the quarters. Sunrise Shimmer, Dawn Shimmer, and a younger Flash Sentry awaited. She hugs her mom Sunrise first. When she tried to hug her father Dawn, Sunrise refused to let go, but hugged her tighter. But she did pull away and hugged Dawn; her eyes glossed. But when she started to hug little colt!Flash, tears began to drop. Eleven years away, and she missed so much, including seeing the birth of her brother.
That afternoon, she returns home to Grazewood, a small town off the western Equestrian coast. Warm, salty air reminded her of her early days as a filly. The Shimmer home is atop a quiet hill, looking down upon the rest of the town, and groves of rose pines act as an exclave. Her room upstairs had been barely touched.
When she sees her room, immediately she hops onto the center and sighs. "Feels good to be home."
From those words, she's quickly reminded of her home back in Pedestria with the Pies, but she hides it from her parents.
What to do while back home?
From how I envision it, it's to try to cook, clean, meet up with old friends, and just doing hobbies she loved doing while she used to live in Grazewood. However, as she's lived in Pedestria's Canterlot City for so long, she had trouble using her magic, impulsively clutching with her hooves instead.
Before she goes to sleep, she takes out her journal and writes a letter to Pinkie Pie back detailing her adventures and trials in Grazewood. Pinkie writes a note back detailing how hollow her home feels with her not being there. Dawn and Sunrise feel the same way when she ran away, and she writes that they and Pinkie are a lot more in common than she once thought.
"How?"
"A deep affection for family. Caring for their loved ones. Holding tightly onto fond memories. Wanting to make others happy."
"Like me in a nutshell."
"More like a hatched gator head."
"Huh?"
"Pinkie in Equestria has a pet baby gator named Gummy."
"WHAT?"
"Don't worry, Pinkie. Gator and Pinkie apparently keep each other in great company. Pinkie — the one here — says he appreciates it, so I believe her. Anyway, the day after tomorrow, I'll be seeing you and the others. Can we meet in Sugarcube Corner for some lunch? Maybe lemongrass shortbread?"
"Anything for my big sister."
"XOXO."
"XOXO."
Next day, she spent plenty of time catching time with older friends, having lunch in a diner with four old friends, three Earth ponies and one unicorn: May Flour (unicorn, Acres's older sister, female), May Z. Acres (EP, Flour's younger sister, female), High Grant (EP, male), and Ol' Chipper (EP, male). The two May's had been working at the windmill and flour mill near the edge of town, as their dads had grown older and needed help working, and the sisters agreed to pick up some of the slack. Ol' Chipper, in his gruffy yet happy-sounding personality, began to take part in negotiating antiques trades. High Grant's still studying for advanced universities and unsure what to really do down the road, but he's thinking of spending time doing charity work to folks who need it. Sunset explained her adventures in the human world, described the portal, and why she came back.
Chipper: Do you think about coming back to this Canterlot City?
Sunset: Every second since I came back here.
Acres: But you don't want to be separated from your family here.
How can I? They're just as much a family as the Pie family over in the human world.
Grant: But Pinkie lives in Ponyville, and her family lives in Slateyard.
Not that Pie family. The other Pie family, and they all live in the same house is the suburbs.
My bad. So, what do you plan about it?
I don't know, Grant. Why should I be forced to choose which family and universe to stay? Because Equestrian magic says so?
Flour: *clears throat* Sunny dear, magic is flexible here. You can create new magic anytime as long as you put in the effort.
But there's a standard to the portal on both ends. After ten days, the portal will be closed for several years. I don't want it to happen again.
*swallows water* Who says it needs to close after ten days?
But it won't open or close because Celestia says so, Chipper. It's been cast a spell.
An ancient spell, Acres. God knows where it is now.
Everyone: Huh?
Never heard that before.
Figure of speech I learned from the other world.
After they split, she quickly wrote two notes asking Celestia, Luna, and the Mane Six to meet by Irviger Square at 6 PM local time; copied a map using magic; and asked a postal pegasus to fly to Canterlot and then Ponyville's Golden Oak Library as fast as he can. Then, she spent time catching up and playing with little Flash, who looked a lot like the Flash from Pedestria. (She never told him this.) They played some sports she learned from the human world, including soccer, softball, and basketball. Then they spent some time playing with a kitchen playset, and she cooked him one of her favorite treats as a kid: wood-burnt banana leaves with a side of radish.
Keep the portal open
How did Twilight decide to keep the portal open in RR? Through a very lazy joke of coming up with a contraption to force it open. When isolating the joke to the movie alone, it could sound like a good joke in the making. But the film also plays the threat seriously, and the portal has a strict canon rule dating back to the former. In short, the joke becomes a Deus Ex Machina to thrust Twilight and Spike back in the film.
Solution: That evening, after spending time with her brother, she walked to Irviger Square (a little park full of small birth trees and swings). On cue, Celestia et al showed up, and Sunset has to talk. She tells them about her conversation with her four friends, including not wanting to be separated from either family, and the art of loose magic.
If there's a way to figure out how to force open the mirror…
Celestia: There is a way.
Everyone looks at her.
Twilight, do you remember what I said to you about the mirror's magic?
Twilight: I think so. You told me that it was created by an alicorn named King Arion thousands of years ago.
Rainbow Dash: Time out! There were other alicorns than the princesses?
Princess Luna: Alicorns have had a long history. My older sister and I may be famous, but we, Cadance, and Twilight were never the only ones.
How alicorns evolve have always remained a mystery. Even the best scientists have limited knowledge of them. Luna, Cadance, and I are naturally-born, and hundreds of other past alicorns are, as well. King Arion was also naturally born. Some of them earned their status over time, like Twilight for solving Star Swirl's broken spell.
Applejack: So, what does the hooha have anything to do with this King Arion?
Luna took out an old scroll, and she and Celestia used magic to hover it and make projections.
Long ago, King Arion ruled an ancient city in the eastern hemisphere. He was a little temperamental, but he always had a liking for his people. Not once did he believe others were worse than him. He had a tremendous amount of respect for others, and they had tremendous respect for him in return. Unfortunately, despite being an alicorns, successful flight he could not. Legend has it was that he was born with a condition called penna mortem. He was never able to fly.
Where he lived depended on trade for survival, because it was a desert climate with no land to cultivate. But nopony was able to make it through long distance. Not even pegasi were capable of surviving hours of nonstop flight. In order to make life for his ponies easier, he scavenged dead cities where civilizations came and went. He was able to find thousands of old bones of the three popular pony races. He collected them into his castle and used magic to cremate them.
Pinkie Pie: That sounds pretty icky.
'Twas worse back then, Ms. Pie. In his country, cremation was taboo. A crime serious enough for abdication…and exile.
Golly.
So, he had to keep the project a secret?
More. He had to cremate all the bones underground, disguise the nasty burning smell, and lie to his most trusted diplomats so nopony outed him.
After several years of processing the bones and creating a spell to create shatterproof glass, he spent long days drafting the perfect spell to travel long distances without risking thousands of lives. At last, he came up with the right one to create a portal from one country to another. It was a secret only he and rulers from other kingdoms knew, and they kept them all the way until their deaths.
Spike: *taps finger on his nose* …interesting. But what does that have anything to do with Star Swirl?
This happened just before Luna was born. After King Arion died, a massive threat polluted innocent minds to turn on one another and kill off his whole kingdom. Apparently, someone broke from the hate curse, found him, and told him about it. He couldn't strip them of their powers nor defeat them like other unicorns. So he had to come up with another plan to get rid of them. By chance, he was able to locate Arion's mirror along with the spell scroll accompanying it. He changed the spell by making the portal a point of no return instead of a tunnel for trade. He lured the evil into the portal, and order was restored in the kingdom. In honor of Arion, his unnamed country was called Arion Stratus, for most of it was high up in the sky.
I don't think the story ends there.
Our adventures have always been topsy-turvy. I doubt his were any different.
*chuckle* Rather than coming up with a spell to defeat the enemy and permanently seal up the mirror, it was always able to open and then shut. Star Swirl attempted several times to close the loophole in the mirror, but he was never able to. So, he sealed it in the hidden room in Canterlot Castle and instructed me to look after it in his will.
*as she and Luna wrapped up the scroll and put it away* I told Luna everything about it when she returned home three years ago, and she looked after it anytime I was away for diplomatic duty.
*looks down on the ground* Sometimes stuff like this makes me glad I was sealed in the moon.
Everyone: *gasp*
Rarity: Your majesty! Why would you say something like that?
Being a princess isn't always easy, and I wasn't mature. If I learned something like this as a young foal, I might've been overzealous enough to try to find the mirror and seal it myself.
Fluttershy: Princess Luna—
Please, Fluttershy. Call me Luna.
Luna…ooh, how should I say it?
Worry not.
Really? Well…that's one of the craziest things I've ever heard. Nopony deserves to be sealed anywhere! Not in the moon. Not in stone. Nothing! Please, don't ever wish you were glad to be sealed.
Cannot help feeling that way, Fluttershy. I can't promise thou that.
I understand, too, Luna. Dash remembers me in a mess after I believed nopony liked me anymore.
*sigh* You guys don't know this, but Pinkie had gone bananas and spent time planning a party with a bag of flour, turnips, and rocks. *to Pinkie* Pinkie, you're a great friend. Never scare me like that again. Pinkie promise?
*to Dash* Cross my heart and hope to fly. Stick a cupcake in my eye. *to Luna* Luna, look around you. You have so many friends. Me, Twilight, Celestia, Spike, and everyone else. We'll be here for life!
If you want anything, ask any of us. I'm always one letter away.
*walks over, pats Luna's horseshoe* And you've got a new friend-for-life, too. *kisses her cheek* Me.
Thank you, everypony. What you said means a lot to me.
We're all very welcome. Now, if I recall correctly, you can't replace curses on a whim, can you?
I'm afraid not, Rarity. *takes out another scroll and projects it* The only forms of innate magic known to horned ponykind are lifting, relaxing, pulling, pushing, transferring, and levitating. Not everyone has mastered them. You can create new magic like Star Swirl's spell that Twilight closed, but you can't simply change it without finding the actual source.
So, if we can find the actual source for the spell, then we can revise it, and we can have the portal open, so you can visit both families whenever you like, Sunset!
After missing my brother's birth and realizing how much Mom and Dad from both worlds really love me, it'd mean the whole world to me and them that it stays open.
There is a very big catch. If you revise the spell wrong, then you run the risk of it going haywire. Wasn't there a barrier that blocked anypony from coming to Equestria, Sunset?
I felt Pinkie's hand touching the base of the Colt, but it didn't go through, like I did.
Apparently, Star Swirl has a spell to prevent anyone who possesses no magic from voluntarily entering the portal. You need a very convincing, plausible reason to enter the Reflection Room. Luna, Spike, Twilight, and I went into the room to try and find you.
Sunset Shimmer, you never told us why you went to this world, anyhow. Why did you go?
I wanted to run away.
Why, Sunset?
Because I thought Mom and Dad counted on me to become the best and most successful unicorn alive. I felt like I had a path to great things, but I kept floundering. Every schoolpony who bullied me convinced me they were going to hate me for failing. *sniff* Why in God's name did I ever think it was a great idea to run away in the first place?
*pays Sunset's shoulder* It's okay, Sunset. It's okay.
No, it's not. Rather than hating me, they missed me and were proud just for trying to do my very best. I worried them for eleven years for nothing! *sigh* Sorry. Everything's spinning right now.
When I was a youngin, Mom and Dad could care less 'bout school tests and being the best in class. They only want me to put whatever effort I can. If I succeed, apple pie for me. If I fail yet still put in the effort, I got the best apple pie with whipped cream and blueberries on top Equestria can find.
First time I ever heard a bigger and better reward for failing.
Nopony likes failure, Twilight. But no matter what happens, you're always a daughter to me, and I'm always proud of you.
*to Twilight* I think we'll all feel this way when my sister, Applejack's, and Scootaloo get their cutie marks someday, darling. *to Sunset* Sunset, I guarantee you your mother, father, baby brother, and your family in the other world will always be proud of you.
Thank you, everypony. Yet…what if we try to revise the spell, but we fail?
I'm afraid that will cause several implications, including uninvited guests infiltrating both dimensions, opening gates to other worlds, or closing it forever. *looks at Sunset, who's frozen in fear*
*Luna puts a comforting hoof on her shoulder*
Don't think about that now, Sunset. I want you to have the best days here and in Canterlot City with the Pies there.
*Sunset relaxes, smiles bravely*
Yeah, don't worry about worrying. Leave the worrying to us.
That's a clever way to put it, Rainbow Dash. So, first thing tomorrow, everypony?
Good idea. How about we start searching in Star Swirl's study, wherever it is?
There are several in Canterlot. I remember two the most, one of them just downstairs from Celestia's study and another not far from mine.
The study I was in before…running away…used to belong to Star Swirl, too. Perhaps a split into a few groups to find it?
Sounds like a good plan.
I'll help, too.
Excellent. Now, can y'all please stay here for a few more minutes? I'd like to say goodbye and prepare to travel for Canterlot tonight.
Take as long as you need. We'll wait.
She spent about twenty minutes packing (including her journal with quill, telling Pinkie she's leaving for Canterlot tonight) and then said temporary goodbyes to Dawn, Sunrise, and baby Flash. Afterwards, after a Sunset "OK," Celestia teleported everyone to Canterlot. As everypony searched the next day, Sunset traveled through the mirror to rendezvous with the human ReMane Five back in Canterlot City.
More to come in later entries.
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