Ok so I haven't done one of these for a while but something or many things are on my mind. You will have to excuse me for a my bad grammar or spelling. I am not going back to delete a thing. If you care to read cool these are my scattered brain thoughts for the moment.

In this "excersize" I am going to write for 30 min. straight. It may be boring, it could be good I don't know, depends who you are I suppose.

Alright I will start, have you ever just wanted life? Have you ever just wanted to breath freely knowing that you are protected? I know I will have that and I am super stoked for it one day soon

Another thing that I will kind of mention but not really due to controversy and really strong oppinions on this site... but that thing that I was doing, well I broke.. and it is about time that I start again. Here goes nothing xD

My bf is an ass hat, he meowed at the cat and I looked over.... he laughed *facepalm *meow

My RP is falling apart. My baby is gone. In retrospect I can only blame myself. Now it is not gone yet but it might as well be at this point. I need people to join or ppl to get interested in the story once again.... If not I will reboot it. If it's even worth it at the moment I am unsure. I wanted to do so much art, I wanted to make it into an animated series lol. I would have too.. I can only blame myself. But reguardless it is frustraiting.

I don't think I could resarect her either. She would be gone forever. I wrote that my father in the RP had died... 2 min later I get this call that my IRL dad had passed away. he was 45. This story, this OC became a weird part of me. She is my OC, my ponysona, it touches my heart in a really weird way and I feel like I am just closer to my dad. I don't think I could re write that, nor do I think I can. Her story has already been born. I can't just restart it. It could never be the same.

So I suppose that would be that and I would never write as her again. It would be crushing and heartbreaking. Honestly, that made me tear up a little. But it would be symbolic reguardless.

As one falls closer to it's end another rises up out of the ashes. The group reminds me a lot of the other one before stuff went down. I just won't make the same mistakes.Shit happens and that's ok.

Other than that I am feeling numb, a little sceptical, yet hopeful and excited. I feel that life is going to pick up and start being better. Not only that but it just looks that way. Now the only thing that stand in the way of all my success......... perhaps it's me?

If I can change me by myself, become a better me and succeed in life, well then shitfucktittesbatman! I think I know what I gotta do

Alright, that's my time limit for now, just in time, it was getting weird lol. Anyway, feel free to comment on my blogs as always it is appreciated, and also if you have a possible topic for a story, even just one word, tell me and I will write something sometime if it peaks my interest

I also draw so if you want me to maybe draw something, again post your idea in the comment section below, Your comment maybe featured in my next blog!

Thanks for reading