Seriously, I don't give a shit if nobody reads this or whatever. I have got to vent this.

A little background: Accounting is a profession that's supposed to be growing. Getting the degree isn't easy. It's not super difficult. I mean, there are harder degrees out there. But once you have it, people go nuts for folks who have accounting degrees. I am a Bachelor of Accounting. Since mid-March, I've been applying for jobs here and there to very little success. By that, I mean nobody has interviewed me for a job in my field...

...That is until today.

On Sunday, I applied for a job with the State of Oklahoma. On Tuesday, I got a phone call asking if I would want to come in for an interview. In a nutshell, my answer was "HELL YES!!" I was excited to finally get a bite! I called my girlfriend and she was pretty stoked for me. On top of that, she said it was a state job and those are really easy to get. Her exact words were "The state takes all."

I'm excited about this. On Wednesday morning, I packed my bags and left my hometown, where I had been staying with my parents for the last week or so, and went to my college town so I could get my dress clothes together. I had never learned to iron clothes so I had to get on YouTube to figure out how to do it because the cleaners couldn't have them ready quickly enough, and I did a fantastic job considering that I'd never ironed clothes before.

This morning, I spent my entire morning preparing myself for this. I got up bright and early at 7 am. I made coffee, took a shower, made my bed, drank my coffee, ate breakfast, and from 8 am til noon, I was on my computer, thinking of all the questions I might be asked and coming up with what I wanted to say along with a few questions I wanted to ask as well. At noon, I got dressed and got all my things together. I then drove an hour and a half to Oklahoma City and went to my interview.

Now I invested a lot of resources just to make it to the interview. Time, money, energy...after the last couple days, I'm exhausted both physically and mentally.

I go to the interview, and I did really well. I was on top of things (mostly). If they asked me something and I honestly didn't know the answer or I couldn't come up with something because I simply hadn't expected the question or it was something I didn't have time to think about, I wasn't afraid to say "I don't know." This was a big deal. I wasn't going to try to make myself look like the perfect candidate. Three people interviewed me. The woman who was there loved me to death. I ended up telling them my story of foster care and how I overcame the psychological damages that resulted from my harsh past, and she felt really inspired by that. One of the men shares my alma mater, and the other one seemed to really like me as well. In all, I felt like I had done really well and that I was bound to get a job offer.

After the interview, I go to one of the malls til 5 o' clock to wait for my girlfriend to get off work. I live two hours away from her so it's not often we get a chance to meet up. So we go out for food and drinks and whatnot and we have a pretty decent time considering it's Thursday and she's burnt out from work this week. We hang for a few hours and then I make my way back to my apartment.

On my way, I decide to check my email. This is what I got from my interviewer:

"Dear Spacey Woona,

"I am sorry to say, but our position has been filled. You were not selected."

What the hell?!

I called my girlfriend and told her about it, and she believes someone transferred from a different county since state jobs are usually much easier to get than other jobs and it's much easier and cheaper to transfer someone in.

I can't explain the kind of suck that this is. I really thought it went well. I really thought the next contact I would have with them would be a job offer or second interview. It was almost perfect! Right now, I'm frustrated as hell. It feels like I'm doing something wrong. Also I really feel like punching someone in the face, but since I don't want to spend the night in jail for assault, I'll just avoid people for now.

Anyway, I have an interview on Monday with Devon Energy. In case you don't know who they are, they're one of the biggest deals in Oklahoma right now. They deal in oil and gas and they have a lot of assets. The Devon Tower in Oklahoma city is the tallest building there. In my interview earlier today, I was asked if I had any upcoming interviews, and I did mention Devon. All three of their jaws nearly dropped. It's really hard to get an interview at Devon. They're pretty selective in their recruitment. So I also think these guys really believe that I can get the job at Devon, and that's why they turned me down. Perhaps they're confident that I can get a job there, and if they were to extend a job offer to me, it would be a waste of their time since the state only pays a fraction of what Devon would.

Today's interview wasn't all a waste. I did encounter a few questions I hadn't expected and I took note of them. I got more interview experience, which will help in future interviews (considering I get any more). And the interviewer did send me a link to another job opening in the state the he's really confident that I would enjoy. So at least he was cool enough to give me a new lead.

Still, I'm very frustrated. It's July. I've been trying to find a job for four months now. Part of it is my fault. I've had my confidence shaken, and confidence isn't something I've ever had much of. I got lazy for a while as a result. You might even say I was slipping into the clutches of depression because I was so down on my luck.

Hopefully someone out there hires me. Seriously, it can't be that hard to find a job in my field. In the meantime, I'm gonna keep trying. I really hope the Devon job works out. That would be one of the biggest fish I can catch.

For now, I'll quit pissing and moaning. Soon, this will all be worth it, though it's getting harder to hold on to hope that statement is true.

Ugh...

Let me tell you... I thought I had problems when I was a teenager. Yeah. My car might have been low on gas or I couldn't make it to a certain get together with friends or I might have been going through a breakup. Now that I'm an adult looking for a job, my problems revolve around my unemployment, and I don't know how much longer I can make my savings stretch so that I can keep paying my bills on time. I guess I could always liquidate! (which is a fancy accounting term for "sell my shit so I can pay off debts")

Adult problems are the worst.