Tuna fish is a wonderful food. So much so, in fact, that every can is a metallic little promise of wonderment and an awed - but nonetheless satisfied - belly. You need only employ a can opener, and 360 anticipatory degrees later - glorious fishy paradise!

I know what you're thinking: "If tuna fish is truly such a wonderful food," and indeed it is, "how could *I* - who am neither a king nor especially wealthy - possibly deserve such a treat most certainly sought after by the gods themselves?" Oh ho ho, presumably young individual of not royal birth; tuna fish cares not about your status or your monetary wealth (excepting, perhaps, the cost of a can of it). Tuna fish loves you for you. But, should you unexpectedly come into a significant inheritance, tuna fish will love you all the more.

Tuna fish is a food possessing tremendous versatility! It is not oppresively fishy, despite the presence of "fish" in its name, and it can be mixed easily with a wide variety of other things! For example:

1. Rice

2. Buttered pasta

3. Bread (as in sandwich form)

4. Mac 'n cheese

5. Bread crumbs or instant oatmeal (tuna burgers)

6. BBQ sauce

7. Hot sauce

8. Chopped olives, green or black

9. Even more tuna fish

10. Other varieties of fish to confuse and delight your dinner guests

11. Jellybeans?

12. A handful of pennies

13. Sand

14. Very small rocks

...And infinitely MORE!

Tuna fish is an adventure. Upon which only the bravest of taste buds might embark. Or most any taste buds really. Taste buds need not be brave. But it is an exciting taste safari in a wild, verdant jungle of, "Hey, it's pretty good!" You need only be prepared to embark on a journey of, largely, mastication. Ohhhh, saliva will assuredly play its role! Embark, young culinary traveler! Into a realm of slightly overstated fishy grandeur that calls your name and your name alone. And also the names of several of your friends. Probably a cousin. Whatever you call your cats.

EMBARK! For tuna fish is magic.