I have a set of jokes your great great great grandfather probably told. And in the likely event that you will not understand this, I shall provide the catch!

Candle maker and a Gentleman

Guy 1: Sir What was your Father?

Guy 2: My Father was a candle maker

Guy 1: Pity he didn't make one out of you!

Guy 2: Well what was your father?

Guy 1: My father was a Gentlemen

Guy 2: Pity he didn't make one out of you!

Hardtack

I was eating some hardtack the other day and I bit into something soft, a nail!

New Hat

Guy 1: Hey sam where'd you get that new hat?

Guy 2: Well I got it at the store down town

Guy 1: Really? How much did he charge you?

Guy 2: I don't know, the man wasn't there!

Greece

Guy 1: Hey Sam have you ever been to Greece?

Sam: No but I fell in a big tub of soap once!

(Greece as in grease, the stuff you find under cars and stuff.)

And finally, the hardest joke to understand

Chicken and a ship

Guy 1: Hey sam, what's the difference between a chicken and a ship?

Guy 2: I don't know

Guy 1: The hen lays one egg and the ship lays two!

The world "laying" is a term used by ships for nautical navigation.