To give up or not give up... that is the question.
Okay so, about say eight or whatever years ago, I used to have someone very special to me. She was like a little sister to me, and I adored her. We were friends for the longest time. She was also autistic and had a ton of other issues like I did. I told her everything and relied on her for everything as well. Anyway, soon, it got to the point where she stopped talking to me though. She made excuses about how her MSN wasn't working at the time and all that. I tried my hardest just to get her attention, but it was so hard.
The whole reason she acted this way was because she became heavily involved with competitive pokemon on a place called Smogon. Plus, I think she was somehow changing as well. She gave up on a majority of her friends too. I've tried to talk to her so many times, but she ignores me like I don't even matter anymore. It took me years to give up on her, and each time I always kept trying and trying.
I just didn't want to let go of my best friend, you know? She was the first person with autism I had ever met in my life. Well, that's not all. I tried making others my brothers or sisters just to fill the void. The sad part is they all left me the same way she did, not by competitive pokemon though. My most recent person I had as a brother took me off Skype without even one reason as to why.
It was this realization that I either embrace what I had left of her or just forget her completely. I mean, I do think of her... so I'm not always forgetting her. It's just... sometimes it's hard to forget someone who had such a huge impact on your life. I don't know if I'm ready to fully let her go yet while at the same time... I think I'm slowly weaning away from after so many years.
I don't know why I shared this, I just had to get it off my chest or something. *shrug*
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