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Signs is one of the worst Sci-fi movies ever.


Evilshy

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DISCLAIMER: I last watched Signs about 4 years ago, and haven't rewatched it for this post because its not on Netflix.

 

 

 

ALSO: spoilers.

 

 

 

So, way back when, some friends told me Signs was an awesome and scary scifi movie, and I thought "cool, I like awesome, I like scary, and I like scifi, I should watch this". I promptly forgot all about it for about a year until I noticed it at blockbuster and rented it.

 

It sucked.

 

Don't get me wrong, the beginning was okay. I was liking it for awhile. When the aliens showed up at first, I liked how they largely stayed off screen. I've always believed that the best horror is that which cannot be seen, because the ultimate fear is fear of the unknown. If you know something is there, but don't know where or what exactly it is, it's going to be a hell of a lot scarier.

 

 

(going off on a brief tangent regarding this sort of horror and how it isn't used as much as it should be. Spoilers for Insidious, Poltergeist, The Ring and Ringu)

 

Many otherwise good horror films have been rendered unscary and lame (for me, at least) because the demon/ghost/paranormal entity of some kind started showing up directly on screen. Insidious would've been better if we'd never seen the demon with the red face (and he looked stupid anyway). Poltergeist would've been better if Hell's vagina hadn't opened up in the kids' closet. The only time I've seen the evil entity come out and not ruin the whole thing was in The Ring, and to a greater extent, Ringu (the better Japanese movie the American one is based on), because Sadako/Samara were sufficiently creepy and mysterious even on screen. But even then, those movies weren't particularly scary anyway.

Guess I'm just a psyche horror guy :/

 

Somewhat related, but I recently watched some satanic horror; Exorcist, Omen, stuff like that. I found it all funny. Is this normal?

 

 

 

Anyway, the aliens coming being directly on screen effectively killed all the horror aspect of the movie, but that's okay with me because it's scifi, not horror.

At least, it was until it failed miserably in that regard as well.

 

See, these aliens have all kinds of cool technology that presumably let them invade the entire planet in a few days. They then proceed to go out and kill people. Pretty standard alien invasion stuff.

They kill by shooting some sort of toxic gas/powder/aerosol out of things attached to their wrists, which can kill humans quite quickly. This suggests that they have researched humans enough to come up with a toxin that can kill within seconds of breathing it in. It's creative, kinda lame, but creative. i don't have a problem with this.

 

I have a problem with their weakness: water. It's a highly corrosive substance to them, it dissolves their flesh and kills them. Even that I don't have a problem with.

 

One would think that, when studying us to find out how to kill us efficiently, they'd find out that we're approximately 60% water. One would think they'd notice that 73% of the planet they're invading is covered in acid. One would think they'd notice that said acid frequently falls from the fucking sky all over everything. One might think that they may have even noticed the huge clouds of the stuff that they had to fly through to land here.

 

But no. They land, they open up their fancy space ships, and walk out into this hostile environment completely naked. It's like if we found a planet covered in sulfuric acid mixed with cyanide, with clouds made of it in vapor form, with creatures somewhat similar to use who were made of it and said "hey, let's go invade that place... naked."

 

For a civilization with sufficient technology for an interstellar invasion on planet scale, they sure are complete idiots.

 

Ah well, it's M. Knight Shyamalan, so unless it's called Sixth Sense or Unbreakable, it can't be very good :/

  • Brohoof 6

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Ah well, it's M. Knight Shyamalan

Therein lies your answer. His movies aren't about anything that people think they're about. They're all pseudo-political movies with a somewhat interesting and loosely held together plot. And Signs was mostly about Mel Gibson finding his way back to God in the most roundabout and ridiculous way ever.

 

Random Fun Story Time: I saw this movie three times in theaters. Once with my dad, once with my brother and once with a friend. On the third time I went to see it I was pretty desensitized to it and when they showed the alien completely on screen in the final scene, there was a woman a few rows down from me that was so freaked out by it that she threw, yes, threw, her cup of coke across the theater in terror. I laughed myself silly until the end of the movie. It was, by far, the highlight of all three times I saw it.

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if water is deadly to them, wouldn't it be dangerous just getting into the Earth's atmosphere?

 

i mean, since it's compromised by oxygen and hydrogen, it'd mean that either of these substances are deadly to them, and since hydrogen is one of the most common chemical elements in the universe, wouldn't that make oxygen deadly to them, right? which would mean that breathing it in would destroy them from the inside, right?

 

or would it be the combination of the both elements that kills them? if so i'd really like to know what they are consuming in order to survive if they can't digest water...

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if water is deadly to them, wouldn't it be dangerous just getting into the Earth's atmosphere?

 

i mean, since it's compromised by oxygen and hydrogen, it'd mean that either of these substances are deadly to them, and since hydrogen is one of the most common chemical elements in the universe, wouldn't that make oxygen deadly to them, right? which would mean that breathing it in would destroy them from the inside, right?

 

or would it be the combination of the both elements that kills them? if so i'd really like to know what they are consuming in order to survive if they can't digest water...

i guess it would work the same the same way as Aquagenic something with is a rare condition that makes people allergic to water, i'm not too sure about this and i am thing right off my head here but i thing air would need to be condensed more to the point that it is in a vapor or liquid for it to react to the aliens skin.

 

but this was a Shyamalan movie, so excellent premise, good intentions, fucking retarded story/plot . i think the Happening is the best example of that tho, something is making people kill them selves........ its plant farts...... go talk nice to the plants and you will live, also beware of breezes and run dramatically away :/

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if water is deadly to them, wouldn't it be dangerous just getting into the Earth's atmosphere?

 

i mean, since it's compromised by oxygen and hydrogen, it'd mean that either of these substances are deadly to them, and since hydrogen is one of the most common chemical elements in the universe, wouldn't that make oxygen deadly to them, right? which would mean that breathing it in would destroy them from the inside, right?

 

or would it be the combination of the both elements that kills them? if so i'd really like to know what they are consuming in order to survive if they can't digest water...

 

Not necessarily. Chemical compounds often react differently than the elements would separately. For example, Sodium is extremely reactive with water, bursting into flame upon contact. Chlorine is a corrosive gas. But put them together and you have table salt. It's all about the electrons, man.

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