I got the idea from this blog post.

I've worked pretty much every position at Panda Express except for management (so I've cooked, cleaned, chopped vegetables, served customers, opened, closed, done financial stuff, balanced the safe, etc.)

Here is a guide that IN NO WAY REPRESENTS THE OFFICIAL POSITION OF PANDA EXPRESS, but all us hourly store workers would really appreciate it if people read and applied this to their visits.

1. The garbage cans do not contain extra-dimensional Bags of Holding with near-infinite capacity.

They fill up. Quite frequently during lunch and dinner hours, I might add. If one is full DON'T CRAM YOUR SHIT IN TO THE POINT WHERE IT HOLDS THE FLAP OPEN. Seriously, it's hard enough to get the cans out with spilling anything when they're full to their intended capacity, overfilling pretty much always result in a spill, which is really hard to clean up because it's inside the garbage can.

There are AT LEAST 2 cans in every store, and most have 3 or 4. Use a different one. If they're all full (unlikely, all the stores I've worked at usually keep on top of them), then we're cool if you cram it in as long as you mention it to us.

2. Don't be a bitch about demanding we cook new food.

Look, we know that people like fresh food, and that food is not always fresh. Between rushes, some stores get very few customers, so keeping the steam table full of fresh food is expensive and wasteful. If you request it, we'll pretty much always cook a new batch. During these slow times, stores will also often throw away food if it gets too nasty looking, so don't start bitching about how we don't have X chicken or Y beef. If you had seen the stuff we just threw away, you sure as hell wouldn't want to eat it. We'll cook new food for you, it's totally cool.

And please don't complain about how long it's taking to cook food after you order it. We're not some crappy fast food place, if we're cooking you a new batch of food, it's going to be fresh and tasty. We're not throwing some frozen crap in a microwave, we're starting with raw meat, raw vegetables, and sometimes even mixing the sauce right there. We are cooking legit food. It takes time.

And seriously, the longest it's going to take is 5 minutes (depending on the dish, most are closer to 3 minutes). And obvious exception is if there's only one cook on duty at the time and they're already cooking something else.

3. Closing time etiquette

The higher ups get on our asses if we're at the store too late (most stores close at 10pm, and we're technically supposed to be done closing and out of the store at 10:30). In order to even have a chance of doing this, we have to start our closing procedures at 9 - 9:30 pm. This means we start sweeping, cleaning tables, and emptying the steam table before closing. In some stores, you can usually get away with mopping parts of the store before closing (though we aren't technically supposed to, the larger ones have plenty of space even if half the store is behind wet floor signs). We start emptying the steam table and cleaning the trays. Once it's actual closing time, we make a few to-go boxes of random food that we're supposed to give to people for free if they try to get into the store after we close but before we lock up (if nobody does, we just take some home. We're not supposed to, but nobody really cares except for the ass hat managers who are always looking to get you in trouble while kissing the asses of the higher-ups )

There are several ways people are douche bags to us right before closing:

3a. Please do not come in and ask us to cook a ton of new food at 9:30.

Chances are, nobody else is coming in to eat it, so that's wasted food and time. We'll do it for you, but it's annoying as hell. And actually, if you're really nice and cool about us not having any Kung Pao Chicken or whatever, most employees will offer you some free food or give you a discount on what you do end up buying as an apology. I do whenever possible.

3b. Please don't chill out in front of the store right before closing and the rush in as we're about to lock up and demand free food. Yes, we're supposed to give you some, and yes we'll give it to you. But it's really obvious you're just trying to get free food out of us, and it's really annoying that people like you take advantage of our policies like that.

3c. DON'T COME IN 10 MINUTES BEFORE CLOSING WITH ALL YOUR 4-8 YEAR OLD KIDS AND EAT IN THE STORE AND LET YOUR KIDS THROW SHIT ALL OVER THE TABLES AND FLOORS WE JUST CLEANED.

Holy fuck. I want to murder people who do this, and it happens probably every 2 or 3 nights.

Some family comes in right before closing with 2-4 young kids, order a bunch of food, and eat it in the store. As all young kids do, they spill stuff. They throw stuff. They're kids, and I'm okay with that. What I'm not okay with is the parents who don't do anything about it. When I spill in restaurants, even in fast food places, I try to clean it up myself. I'll even insist that they give me their mop so I can clean a spill myself if I'm in a good mood. But these douchebags don't do anything about their kids leaving half a serving of Chow Mein all over the table and floor. I'd be okay if they apologized for it, but they never do.

That's not all, oh no. The best part is that they usually leave a good 15-30 minutes after closing time. Now, we're not allowed to kick people out unless it starts getting ridiculous (like those couples who finish their food and then sit around and talk until 11pm -_-).

So not only do these families create more work for us, they basically guarantee that we're going to close late and the manager will be on our ass about it the next time they see us.

4. We can't take tips.

If you like our service, feel free to tell the manager that we're awesome (because we can get bonuses), but please don't try to tip us. We're not allowed to accept tips, and it put's us in an awkward position.

So... yeah. Next time you're at Panda Express, be a cool person. We'll like you more.

And a lot of stores will give return customers that we like extra food, discounts, and other such perks (depending on the manager). I personally give 10% off to people wearing MLP related shirts when I can get away with it