Mood Status: Don't feel like myself
I just can't get rid of this feeling inside, like i've lost something. I try to peer through the darkness, but the light i once had is beyond my reach. Its taunting me, and makes me feel like i can't ever get it back, i don't like this feeling. I feel like i'm drowning in a sea of darkness, it surrounds me and to go on without end; voices telling me to give up and surrender. I'm tempted to do just that, but i realize that if i do, i'll lose everything that i once was; just a former shell.
The only light i have is hidden away, hidden away somewhere that i cannot dare go. I know i must go where the darkness lives, its there that i fear the most, to see what i would become. I don't want to see it, but my curiosity is winning over. It wants me to find my real self, to bring it back; but how would i do that? I have nothing left, i'm just feeling so empty inside. I've lied, i've stolen, feeding my darkest desires without any thought about what might happen.
The light was my only means of keeping me from temptations that i would never even think about, i sometimes feel like i'm in a trance, my mother speaks, but i do not hear her words. It terrifies me to know that i could lose it. I don't want too! I wish i could take back everything i've ever done, and not have given in to the darkness that wants me to do as it says.
I just feel like this picture here, the only bit of light i have is the lantern, leading the way to the goal; but i'm afraid of reaching, i want to turn and run; but i can't. I'm frozen in place for fear of what i might find beyond that forest. My past haunts me so, i want to avoid it, i wish i didn't have to see it anymore; but i can't forget. I'm crying as i try to decide, shall i go into the darkness or the light; both have a consequence i cannot foresee the outcome.I just stand here, paralyzed in fear, but i have no choice, which way shall i go?
The answer is so simple, yet so far away that i can't touch it. Why am i so weak? I'm such a coward, i've always been. How come is it that i can face my fears, but not this one? I have to know! I must!
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