Okay, so, I've learned two things.

1) Constantly save a draft of your review, because you can spend an hour typing up something and then accidentally hit backspace while not editing the text and the accident will lead to you having to retype your entire review. Seriously, this has happened to me three times on three separate reviews.

2) I've decided on a schedule for these reviews. Every Monday and/or Friday sound good? Too bad if you said 'no,' because I don't care.

*Saves Draft*

Okay, so excuse me as I try to remember how I started my review. I think I said, as I eagerly wait to review some of my favorite episodes from season one, we're gonna have to shovel through some passable or mediocre episodes. "The Ticket Master" is the start of a season-long "arc," in the loosest sense of the word, regrading the Grand Galloping Gala. Twilight receives two tickets to the GGG, but only has seven friends! Matters worsen when each of her friends give "good" reasons as to why they should go. What will become of this plotline straight out of a Disney Channel Original Movie? Let's find out!

This a spoiler's review, so if you haven't seen this episode, ask Celestia for five more tickets.

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*Saves Draft*

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Very well, then.

So we open up the episode with Twilight Sparkle helping...err...Applejack? I can't seem to get these character's names right. I think it's Applejack. Okay, so, Twilight is helping Harplejack harvest apples when all of a sudden, Spike throws up a letter. The note is from Princess Celestia, who says ""fuck you, bitch, you need to make some motherfuckin' friends you loser 'lil cu-"..........Oh, wait, no, that was last episode. Actually, this one is an invitation to the Grand Galloping Gala, one of the happenings around Equestria. Included in this invitation are two tickets, which excites Applejack because she assumes Twilight will take her.

*Saves Draft*

Actually, I was going to take Spike...

She goes on about how she could open up a stand at the Gala and raise money to get Granny a new hip, fix up the barn, and hire a stallion stripper for an evening. You know how it is. They are soon interrupted by Rainbow Dash, who has overheard the news and talks about how she'd impress the Wonderbolts. *Saves Draft* This sparks sexual tension between Applejack and Rainbow Dash, as they fight over who has the better reason to go. Even though it's clearly Applejack who would use her time to help her sick grandmother, Twilight says that they both have really good reasons to go, and cops out at the last minute to go get some grub. On her way, she bumps into Pinkie Pie, who sees the tickets and sings a song about sarsaparilla. This intrigues Rarity, who offers Spike a B.J. for the tickets. *Saves Draft*

I could, you know, bite something else if you wanted.

Rarity has this preconception that she will meet her true love at the Gala, offering just another "spectacular" reason to choose her over Applejack. However, to Rarity's shock, Fluttershy also picks up one of the tickets and is interested in going herself. You see, Fluttershy wants to indulge herself in the garden that surrounds the event, with all of the absolutely beautiful flora and fauna there. It's just a place filled with so many wonders casting a spell that she would be under. *Saves Draft*

SMOKE WEED EVERYDAY!

Not too long after, we find that Rainbow Dash and Applejack had been stalking Twilight as they argue that she should pick them over the other them. They all argue over each other until Twilight screams "ENOUGH GOD DAMN YOU FUCKS!" and runs away to grab some grub. At the restaurant, she orders a grass sandwich (it's marijuana) and attempts to enjoy it before it starts raining. Interestingly, it starts raining around her, and she looks up to see Rainbow Dash opening a hole in the clouds for her. How sweet, NOW KI*Saves Draft*SS!

Here comes the sun, do-do-do-do.

Twilight then tells her to screw off, and then she gets rained on. All I could think was, well, what did you expect, dumbass? She is then found by Rarity, who laughs at her stupid wet mane and brings her to her boutique for a makeover. After being thrown in a frilly dress in hopes she'll butter up to give Rarity the tickets, she notices that Spike is eating his own arm (no, seriously, look at this frame) and decides to leave him to go back to her lunch. Applejack overhears this and takes her to try some of her many apple foods, and after eating delicious pie, decides to give Applejack the ticket.

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Alright, that doesn't happen. She runs away at the sight of evil apple products (get it, evil Apple products? LOL) back to her home at the library, where Fluttershy and her woodland critters are cleaning up the place for her. Disgusted by cleanliness, she assumes Fluttershy is just doing it for the ticket and turns around to be thrown by Pinkie Pie as she sings a song and has people throw her friend in the air.

Aw, shit, we dropped her. Fuck, fuck, fuck....err.....ehhh....just pretend we weren't here, everypony!

-Fun Fact: This is how far I made it before I hit backspace and had to retype my entire review-
Unfortunately, thanks to Pinkie, now everyone in town wants her spare ticket as she blabs her mouth, and Twilight and Spike become the band on the run! After a Benny Hill sequence and a /tpa home on Twilight's behalf, all seems calm and safe in their locked-up library until they find that the other five are too inside the library. That's when our friend Twilight has a mental breakdown and confesses that she can't choose. Realizing they were absolute dickholes, the other five apologize and say that they don't want the ticket. Twilight decides to send the two tickets back, refusing the invitation. However, faster than you can say apples and celery, Celestia writes back saying, "fuck you, bitch, you're going to the goddamn gala," and sends her back six *Saves Draft* tickets!

They multiply!

Everyone is happy they get to go, even Spike who gets his ticket at the last minute, and everypony rejoices that they're going to have the

BEST

NIGHT

EVER!

And so concludes "The Ticket Master." Wasn't it one of the best episodes of MLP?!

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Well, it was alright.

I mean, the entertainment quality of this episode is off the charts, with great jokes, a decent enough moral however half-assed it was, and all-around solid fun. However, the plot for this episode is, like, supermodel underweight. This is why I made that DCOM joke at the beginning of the review. When I hear the synopsis "person A gets two tickets to event but Persons B, C, D, E, and Fluttershy want to go," I think teen drama. This sounds like an episode to Zoey 101, or iCarly, or Hannah Montana. In fact, I'm pretty sure some or all of those shows have had this kind of episode, further proving the sort of dull story in the nit-and-grit of it. I will say that this episode was probably more enjoyable than one put together by the likes of Dan Schneider so I'll give "The Ticket Master" an 8/10 for enjoy-ability, fun, and for at least working with the plot line it had. That's doesn't, however, excuse a pretty stale plot, and I have to look at it objectively in that sense.

So, if I follow my own schedule, I'll see you guys back here on Monday for the next episode of season one: "Applebuck Season!"

*Saves Draft*