equestria girls rewrite Fanfic idea: an Equestria Girls rewrite (part 1)
A few years ago, I had drafted concepts for an EQG rewrite. I never posted it because it's incomplete, and I was too lazy to finish it. After The Coffee Pony and I chatted on Skype about how quirky EQG's timeline is (some of the effects are in his latest blog), I got the idea to re-energize it.
Some ideas are a spur of the moment and may get scrapped. Some I'll press forward.
If you want to see the extra parts, the links are located at the bottom of the blog.
Pedestrian timeline
If we're going by Equestria canon, the portal is said to open once every thirty moons. When applying real-world logic, that's every two-and-a-half years. In between the two times the portal was open, Sunset had spent her last three years in Canterlot High. When applying Equestrian canon, she was an adult who ran off into the portal, yet Pedestria aged her back to a teenager. So, the audience should assume that it took maybe fourteen years for Twilight to grow from a filly to an adult.
Except in EQG1, the characters state that the portal only opens for three nights; once its closes, that's it. In Pedestria, the portal laws operate the exact same thing. So, the timeline in Equestria and Pedestria are synchronized, except when they're not.
Solution: Permanently synchronize the timeline. Instead of running away when she was an adult, Sunset runs away as a filly.
Sunset's characterization
Outside of its mumbo-jumbo continuity, her characterization is EQG's biggest flaw. In EQG1, Sunset is a quarter-dimensional, mean-girl stereotype who couldn't care less about friendship. During the climax, she dons Twilight's crown to create a Diabolous Ex Machina. She was defeated by a Deus Ex Machina, and the DEM literally reset her character. Contrary to what Rainbow Rocks and Friendship Games claims, Sunset didn't change on her own. The Elements of Harmony beat her into changing and forced that change for her. Why is this a problem? The films portray her redemption as self-built, but the real Sunset is replaced by a brainwashed version of her. By comparison, Starlight's redemption is far superior because we saw how she decided to change and learn without any magical interference.
Solution: Scrap the whole angle. No villain Sunset. No Ex Machinas. No nothing. Sunset Shimmer can have her temper and be smart, but she doesn't need to be a stereotypical alpha bitch.
Oh, and scrap v!Snips and v!Snails, too.
Where does she live?
In the main canon, SS's home is very ambiguous. The one time we had any idea she lived, it was cut by Pinkie inviting all of them to a slumber party. But in the Holiday Special, Sunset is shown to live in the CHS library. In other words, she's homeless.
Solution: Clamp on the ambiguity immediately. Give Sunset Shimmer a home to actually live in. Have her live in a shelter during her early years. Then someone in Pedestria eventually adopts her. An early idea is to have the Pies adopt her.
Why the Pies? Because Pinkie Pie has a huge soft spot for her family. Even though she's different from the rest, it doesn't mean she can't love them, and vice-versa. The Pie adopt Sunset as one of their sisters, and she can be tutored to write, cook, and clean.
Flash Sentry
Flash hasn't been a good character in the slightest. Now that Sunset is present in the current canon, he replaces her as the main series's flattest and most stereotypical character. Ironically, in Friendship Games, he actually got some character in his three brief appearances, but he was there purely for comedic filler. As a character, his biggest problem is the fact that he's completely tied down to his and Twilight's crush on each other. All of his potential is thrown out the window because of how Hasbro wants him to be in there and how much DHX tries the best it can to do away with him.
Solution: An earlier draft has Flash completely cut from the rewrite. But scrapping him is too cheap to try and work him out. In the EQG canon, he would be a charitable worker, class president, and mentor for fellow CHS students who struggle to pass. In the FIM canon, he and Sunset would actually be blood-related siblings, as he would be her expected brother when she runs away, and she has no idea that her parents were about to have another baby.
Why does Twilight only enter the Human World and not the others?
Why didn't the ReMane Five get involved?
- In EQG1, Celestia said that they're Equestria's last line of defense. But because the crown went into another dimension, wouldn't the remaining Elements of Harmony be useless?
- In RR, Twilight stated that them going through the portal would only cause confusion.
In layman's terms, "Twilight's more important than you. You don't like it? Screw you!"
Solution: Twilight and Spike travel to Canterlot for her very first business meeting, and she'd have to be there for a week to help her and Luna. That night, the business meeting is adjourned, and Twilight and Spike sleep for the night. Suddenly, she feels very strange magic piercing through her horn, and she wakes up. Illuminating her horn, she heads across Canterlot's dimmed halls to search for the source. She finds the source, but there's no door. She tries to come up with magic to reveal what's behind the wall, but nothing. She paces about to find a solution when the door suddenly reveals.
She opens it; inside is a mirror bolted on a wall with red and gold trims. Old studies were around, including a book with a sun symbol on the cover. She looks at her reflection, but it doesn't show up. She hovers a hoof over it and caresses the glass; her hoof slides through. But before she can try to pull herself out, she gets sucked in and arrives in front of Canterlot High on a cool, late-summer night. She wiggles her fingers, looks at her boot-covered shoes, and finds a reflection through a puddle of rainwater in front; everything changed. Frightened, she crawls right back through the portal and is back inside Canterlot. Celestia, Luna, and Spike await her.
Celestia tells Twilight about Sunset Shimmer and her history as Celestia's formerly prized student. Shimmer's mom and dad sent her off to Canterlot when it was discovered that she is capable of producing different kinds of magic based on different times of the day. But her parents believed she can evolve her magic and become even greater. She passed the entrance exam easily, and Celly elected to try to groom her. But after one year, Sunset's studies struggled. With all the weight on her her, her magic spluttered, and she spent days without sleep just to complete her homework. Celestia fought with a decision to transfer her studies and study something else with better ease so she doesn't have to struggle, but Sunset pleaded to remain with the program.
But as another school year began, she struggled with the weight more, and then other students started teasing her for being Celestia's failed pupil. The students were punished, but their hurtful words didn't go away. It got so bad, she let her magic erupt, and students had to flee because Sunset's magic was out of control. Celestia had to intervene, calm her down, and suppress her magic. Celestia elected that evening to take her out of the program and travel with her to psychology visits. Sunset was, however, able to get away from Celestia's magic-cuffing spell. Believing she was a failure to Celestia and her family, she decided it was time to run away.
That night, she packed up her bags and a journal she wrote in to report her progress to Celestia and wandered around Canterlot's halls. She couldn't find anywhere to go because all of the windows and doors were blocked. She thought about finding a way to actually find peace, when her horn throbbed, and a door magically appeared. She walked right through and found herself into a room where a mirror hung on the wall. She caressed her hoof on the mirror and sucked herself in, crying "HELLLLLLLP!" Celestia woke up with a start and teleported to the room, but she was gone. She ran right through the mirror to find herself in Pedestria, but Sunset Shimmer had already disappeared. Celestia searched all over, but couldn't find her, and her inability to walk and act like a human didn't help. Retreating one day, she researched the mirror. Even though she lived in Canterlot Castle since Luna was first sealed, it used to be owned by Star Swirl himself, so maybe his background can come up with research. As it turned out, it wasn't Star Swirl's mirror. It was King Arion's, one of the early rulers of a kingdom during a time long before Equestria and the first registered alicorn. He was able to create the mirror by mixing cremations of all three unicorn races. He wrote spells to create magical glass in order to travel from one part of the world to another. Instead, he found himself visiting worlds far more violent than his. So he abandoned the project. Eons later, Star Swirl discovered the mirror and refined its magic, but nopony knows what he did with it. All they know is it's only open for two weeks at a time. When it's closed, it stays sealed for eleven years. Legend has it that because it's so dangerous to travel through, he kept it locked up. Because she couldn't find her before the portal was about to close, Celestia had to leave. At the age of six, Sunset Shimmer was lost in a foreign world.
Every night, she went to the Reflection Room and try to communicate with Sunset, but got nothing until eight years later when writings of Sunset's adventure appeared, along with pictures of doppelgangers of what would become Twilight's friends in Equestria. Her friends exhibited the same traits as the ReMane Five in Ponyville. But most importantly, each of the five exhibited one trait that defined the Elements of Harmony. That was one of the reasons why she elected to prepare the Summer Sun Celebration in Ponyville on the 1,000 of Luna's sealing and why she assigned Twilight there. Celestia believed it was the best opportunity for all six to grow as friends and eventually free Luna from her own anger.
Each night, she would write back, and Summer would reply back, too. Summer would also direct messages to her parents, along with a brand-new brother named Flash Sentry. But the parents' words felt painful, according to Sunset, so she'd reply to her parents hesitantly. Sometimes, they'd have a conversation for a few hours, but the portal remained closed. During that time, Celestia decorated the Reflection Room in her colors, including placing her cutie mark right above the mirror.
Tonight was the first time in eleven years that it opened, and Celestia said it's the time to bring Sunset home. But Celestia can't do it alone. She wants Twilight to come find her and bring her home. Spike asks to come, too, because he believes he can help. They accepted. They prepared for their journey, including food, water, human clothes, and money that Celestia was able to get by finding them loose on the street. Before they go, Celestia tells them they only have two weeks to find her and convince her to come home. Luna to alert Sunset's family and Twilight's friends. Because it's an emergency, Celestia asks Spike to write a main emergency note in a red pen on white-coated parchment. With one breath, he ships them off, and Celestia, Twilight, and Spike search for her.
More to come in later entries. In the meantime:
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5
Part 6
- 3
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