It's MLK day, and you know what that means...

 

...

 

...

 

..........Rainbooms????

 

...

 

Nailed it.

 

I don't know about you whippersnappers, but I personally remember the day MLK was shot. It was a warm sunny day in 2001, and the birds were a-chripin'...it must have been September-ish. Then, all of a sudden, everyone in the nation heard a loud pop. There was live news coverage, 'cause there was smoke coming out of his first tower, but after a while they went and shot his second tower and he dun collapsed like dat.....

 

.....or maybe I was on drugs that day. Yes, I did spank as a two-year-old. Got a prollum wit dat?!

 

.....I don't know what spank is. I've lost control of my narrative. Fuck it. "Sonic Rainboom." It's an episode. Spoilers ahead. Noobs fuck off.

 

-

 

-

 

-

 

-

 

-

 

-

 

-

 

-

 

-

 

-

 

-

 

-

 

-

 

-

 

-

 

-

 

So, where were we?

 

Ah, yes, "Sonic Rainboom." An iconic episode to cover. But why is it so iconic? I don't know, this fandom's insane. Let's find out, shall we? The episode opens up with Rainbow Dash teaching Fluttershy how to cheer. Oh, THIS is where that annoying "

" meme came from!!! OOOOOOOH! I couldn't care less. Anyways, as you might imagine Fluttershy's default volume is -25 dB and is unable to cheer loud enough for Rainbow Dash's pleasure. She then facehoofs.

 

Fluttershy, I oughta fuck you up........................................................come to think of it...

 

After the title sequence rapes me and my innocence, we come back to Rainbow Dash acting like a "badass." Then, she attempts the "Sonic Rainboom!" She succeeds! End of episode!

 

...

 

Whoops, we have 20 more minutes to fill. Nope, she fails the Rainboom and falls into Twilight's library, where she's talking to the other members of the main cast. For the next five minutes, Pinkie Pie explains to the viewers Twilight all the important plot points for the rest of the episode, such as the nature of the Best Young Flyers competition in which Rainbow Dash is participating in, and the definition of a "Sonic Rainboom." Apparently, the Sonic Rainboom is, like, really hard to pull off. If she can do it, she could win the competition and a day with the Wonderpets Wonderbolts. Problem is, she hasn't done a Rainboom since she was young, and I don't mean to be judgmental, but she's put on a few pounds since then. Rainbow Dash says its Fluttershy's fault because he didn't cheer with more vigor, so she says she wishes the others could come and watch her. However, non-Pegasi can't walk on the clouds of Cloudsdale, which is technically racist...again. Twilight then figures out a complex spell to do this.

 

Oooh my God! Rarity finally got her wings! Looks like all those late nights and lubricant finally paid off!

 

This spell allows Rarity to not only fly, but also visit Cloudsdale. Now, you'd think the others would also have wings, but no. Twilight decides that after giving Rarity wings, it's a good time to find a less strenuous spell, and uses that to allow the others to walk on clouds. Plot convenience at its not-so-best. Rainbow Dash uses this as an opportunity to show her friends around her home town. I don't know about you guys, but when I want to show my friends around my home town, I always take them to an important factory first, just so they can fuck around with everything. Subsequently, Pinkie Pie tries to eat some Rainbows.

 

Notice how she turns every color but purple. Even the animators are racist.

 

Then, three random wankers from the left side of retard show up to make fun of Rainbow Dash and stare at Rarity's upskirt. I guess we won't ever see them again, and they totally won't become central to the plot development of three important episodes. Trouble is, they're just not important to this one. Well......actually, that's unfair, because they do spark Rainbow Dash's anxiety against performing. They're just overshadowed because Rarity carries the torch the rest of the way with her vanity. Out of character? I don't know, I just assumed this was her blowjob day-job. Rarity, for some reason, thinks she should enter the competition as well. Later, it's the event we've all been waiting for, and Rainbow Dash is feeling a little bettaAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!!

 

WHAT THE FUCK! OH MY GOD! HOLY SHIT! WHYYYYYYYYYYYY?! WHAT THE FUUUUUUCK?!?!!!?!!?!?!?!

 

I wouldn't wanna perform either after seeing this travesty of fashion! Why wasn't Hoity Toity around when this shit happened?! Oh my GOD! WHAT THE FUCK?! *ahem* Agh....I'll try not to remember the fact that her face will haunt my nightmares for the next decade. Anyways, Rainbow Dash keeps switchin' up the numbers until she is the last contestant, and Rarity spends earlier minutes preparing for that nightmare fuel above, so they are forced to go out together. Rarity changes the music to more classical tones from Rainbow Dash's rock'n'roll, both generally horrible genres of music, as they attempt to perform together. Rarity does some shit dance in the sky as Rainbow Dash tries to remember her routine. Tries being the key word here.

 

CRASH! Mothafucka! Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

 

Then, as you might imagine, Rarity's wings evaporate in the middle of her show. Falling from the sky, the Wonderbolts try to save her, but all four of them are dumbasses as they all fall their doom. It's up to RAINBOW DASH to save the day. And she's gonna save the day with style! She's gonna save the day with finesse! She's gonna rock the show! She's gonna charge the spraycan! She's gonna skate the moonwalk! She's gonna pants the shirt-leg! She's gonna plug the drug cable! She's gonna rape your daughter! I'm just typing filler for this paragraph so I can display the SONIC RAINBOOOOOOOOMMMMMMNM!!!!!!

 

WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOI was a preacher last entry.....

 

Rarity learns not to be an idiot (which is short-lived, as well all know, because "Simple Ways" exists), and Rainbow Dash learns that she's awesome and wins the competition. The End.

 

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

......So...what was the moral?

 

Rarity learned that you should keep your "hooves on the ground" and to be there for your friends, and to not let arrogance run away with you? That sounds like that moral was phoned it at the last minute, and it also sounds like a lesson for RAINBOW DASH. Unfortunately, the main character of this episode learns nothing as a result of this. Hooray for the lack of character development. That said, however, this episode isn't horrible. Lack of character development? Irritating. Rarity? Irritating. But outside of that, nothing else to say. This episode is pretty popular for, from what I can tell, no other reason outside of "Rainbow Dash is cool." I'm giving "Sonic Rainboom" a 7/10 for just being pretty straightforward outside of the overhype and structural weakness.

 

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

...

 

...

 

...

 

...