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Banner by ~ Ice Princess Silky
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Tech Reel

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Some days I'm not quite sure who I am.

 

In my past I've felt like a different person for each friend I'm around, due to the fact that I try to blend in with groups to avoid standing out and possibly being abandoned. It must be because I haven't talked to as many humans in the past two years as I have in these past two days. Among these friends I feel like I'm acting different ways when certain ones are around. The differences are much more subtle than they used to be, but I can still definitely feel them.

 

I feel like I try too hard to impress people. I tend to think that if I'm boring for even a second then the friend or friends I'm with will get bored of me. So I end up being more of a character than a person, consistently trying to be entertaining.

 

I'm not saying that I'm a boring person or that I don't like being random or entertaining through conversations. Although, I feel like there's a bit more of a serious or perhaps chill side to me that I don't show much. There's just a divide in my brain that won't allow it to appear in front of people, kind of like stage fright.

 

All I want is to feel like one person, the same person. To be the same alone as I am around people. Whether it's being silly, or chill, or excitable, or the Doctor. I just want to know who I am. I don't know how to achieve that, or how long it will take, but it's my goal.

 

To learn how to be a little more human.

  • Brohoof 3

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~ You are not alone friend ~
 
When I was talking yesterday in the group and I was honestly feeling exactly the same. I felt as if I was boring and being ignored. I also tried to repress my usual self into someone who others would be more impressed with but what came out was just small talk and nothing useful. You really don't need to try to impress people and I'm also pretty sure everyone else felt awkward around new humans. We enjoy your presence no matter how you act and it is nice knowing there are people who want you to be their friend and talk to you.

 

Everyone felt awkward but as we talk more often it will become easier for you to be yourself.

 

It's okay

  • Brohoof 1
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