So... Where do I begin? There's something I've been wanting to confess for a while, but I haven't been able to get up the nerve. It's kind of embarrassing and certainly unusual; which is precisely why I've been hesitant to share. Moving on...
Anyone who knows me (here or elsewhere) knows me only as "Ziggy," but there's a second, secret element to my personality that I've kept hidden from everyone. While it isn't something I'm necessarily proud of, it isn't something I think I can conceal any longer.
Okay, here goes: In addition to my default and true personality, I possess an alternate personality that sometimes irresistibly pushes my true self aside. And that alternate personality is, believe it or not, that of a presumably-high school age Japanese girl with serious anger issues (and a preference for shotguns) named Zigneeta.
I know: This is surprising. It was a surprise to me, too. There were times when I'd black out and wake up in a dirty, ill-fitting sailor uniform, covered in empty boxes of Pocky. Times when I'd find myself halfway through a bowl of ramen or picking at a bento lunch (you know, like with the cute little edible octopuses) that I had no recollection of ordering or preparing. There was that one time when I came to with a sawed-off shotgun in one hand and a Kyary Pamyu Pamyu album gripped firmly in another. It was frightening, and I didn't know who I could talk to.
*Takes a deep breath. Exhales.* It feels really good to be able to say all of this. You don't know how good. I mean... It's possible that I've shot someone during one of these episodes (or at least shoplifted a music CD), but it feels good to get this off my chest all the same.
By the way: No one contact authorities; I don't know what Zigneeta is capable of. o_O