So I know I mentioned in a previous entry that I was all for having a girlfriend and that I was eager to get one, but that phase only lasted like....a week.

Now I'm back to my usual self, and over the past few days, I found out about this MGTOW (Men Going Their Own Way) cult-like lifestyle. I didn't know that this existed, but maybe now I can label myself as MGTOW so that I don't have to keep thinking I'm crazy and that other people actually have similar opinions as I. if you didn't already know what MGTOW is, it's basically where males refrain themselves from having close relationships with the opposite sex. Different levels of MGTOW may mean that you don't talk to females at all, or maybe you wouldn't mind communicating and having a chat with them but you would never want to have a mutual relationship.

I've really been thinking about my past and my future lately. I had 1 girl in the past who was a close friend to me, over the internet offcourse. We were friends for about 5 years, obviously she got free shit from other guys she met that weren't even friends with her or anything, typical female. we were together for about 3 years, and then one night we were staying up really late, It was about 3am and we were in a game. There was another guy who was also in this game. We smashed his team, and then the next day...look who's in our party.....the fucking guy that we played against the other night. Apparentally he thought she was really good and so she let him join the party. Ever since that day, she slowly started to ignore me and our friendship that we had built up over the past 3 years. It got to the point where she never responded to me, she would never play anything with me, wouldn't make any type of contact with me whatsoever. A few depressing months go by and she finally responds, saying that she is in a really close relationship with this other guy. From then on, she started acting completely different towards me, we never stayed up every night like usual, we rarely called each other because she was always calling this other guy. 2 years went by, and I saw her personality get darker and darker, she wasn't the friendly fun loving girl that I knew 5 years back...

The last straw was a couple of months ago actually. We were in a party about to play a match, she was busy doing something else and we had one more spot open. I decided to invite my closest irl friend that I had known since 2007, since he was good at the game and would contribute to the team more. Obviously, by doing this, the girl got angry and demanded that he was kicked from the party, instead, one of the other guys left and so we had a party of my friend, the girl, her so called boyfriend, and me. The girl called me an asshole for the first time that day because I told her that we all really wanted to win the game and that higher ranked players would help us achieve that. As you can see, all I did was tell this girl that she had a flaw, therefore, she got pissed at me. I was sick of her bullshit, so I got my friend to make feminist jokes towards her, which really REALLY ticked her off. She threw a fit and told me to never talk to her again. Her boyfriend still talks to me because I helped him through some tough times with his relationship with her in the past.

The last thing the girl ever told me, was that she actually secretly hated me for the past 3 years of our 5 year friendship. I was surprised that the rescue department wasn't called that night, because I was literally drowning in my own tears. It's a horrible feeling to know that your close friendship was all mostly a lie.

I still can't stop thinking about that day when she called me an asshole, and I definitely can't stop thinking about all of the fun times we've had over the years, so many memories.

So yea that probably takes a large part in why I'm thinking of going MGTOW. It's not just her either, I've seen it in almost every female I've ever known, they're all gold diggers, and they aren't afraid to lye to get out things. They cry when they are called out on their bullshit so that people can feel sorry for them, society believes that you should go to prison if you hit a women, yet....guys are called pussies when they get beat up by women, which happens all the time. oh yea, and why is it that when a female cuts a guy's penis off, it's not a big deal, she might get a slap on the wrist, rarely will she go to prison. But what do you think would happen if a guy cuts off a female's boob? the guy is probably charged with man slaughter and most of his life in prison.

I would hate to have a girlfriend, I'm not gonna waste my money on buying her things, I would rather spend my free time playing video games than worrying about her.

getting married and having kids? huh? you mean selling my soul to the devil? having to be there when the women is giving birth...no....that's fucking disgusting. If you ever decide to become a parent, you're basically saying goodbye to your dreams, your money, and the rest of your life, and devoting all of your time to a bunch of small little things that run around your house and need your attention all day long. No wonder there are more males committing suicide than females.

So yea.....that's about it, I don't mind talking to girls, maybe having a small friendship, but that's as far as I'll go.

Jeez...I sound like a lunatic reading this back over....and I know alot of my statements may be in need of source locations and whatnot, but at this point in time, I'm just really considering going MGTOW.

This is a very depressing decision, so I hope what I'm saying is all wrong....yet...i have strong opinions about what I'm saying.....a weird situation this is....