*SNAP*SHIT my headphones broke!

 

You've got to be kidding me. How the hell am I going to produce my music, let alone listen to my audio books from Audible where I can choose from over 100,000 of the best sellers for a 30 day free trial?!

 

Son of a bitch. At least we have "Read It and Weep" to cheer me up....barely. So, friends, fuck me as we get delve into this spoilers review of a fan favorite.

 

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So this episode opens up with Twilight, Pinkie Pie, and aspic watching Rainbow Dash fly around all douche-like. Then she crashes and dies. The end.

 

...

 

Well, that's half true, at least. She didn't crash, she just died.

 

...

 

Anyways, after the insufferable piece of shit title sequence, we arrive at the hospital where Rainbow Dash is waking up from being dead. That's when Dr. Basic Name tells her friends she'll be fine and proceeds to give 0 fucks. Dash has to stay in the hospital for a few days, which pisses her off. But Twilight thinks "HEY! I'll impose my interests on someone else!" like a typical purple pony and gives Rainbow Dash a Daring Do book. She in turn calls Twilight an egghead. Rainbow Dash -- master of insults. I've got one that I'm sure won't compare, but... "This is my rifle, this is my gun, suck on both and pull their triggers."

 

​Didgeridoo and the Clit of the Sad Fire Store. A classic book.

 

As Twilight and Asswipes Inc. leave Rainbow Dash to rot, she partakes in many boring activities. Finally, she decides "meh, I'll read this book thing." She starts to actually like it once she finds out the main character is much like herself. Until "Daring Don't" fucks this whole episode royally, but I digress. We then get a first-hand look at the events of the book as they are presented to us in film form. Because film adaptions of books always turn out fantastic. At least MLP thinks it's good enough to compete. Some action shit happens and Rainbow Dash realizes that, although she would hate to admit it to her friends, she loves the story. An analogy for the MLP fandom? Probably yes. The fanservice has been stockpiling since "The Last Roundup."

 

Shipping #492 confirmed.

 

That's when Twilight and Fluttershy show up to play board games. Dash tirelessly tries to get rid of them so she can continue reading. Once she finally gets them to kill themselves, we get to see more of the Daring Do story that I refuse to describe. I'm not describing a story within a story. Fuck you. That's of course, when Pinkie Pie, Applejack, and aspic come to visit. Rainbow Dash kills them all with Rapid Fire Sniper Rifles and attempts to finish the book once again, but she was checked out of the hospital before she could finish, leaving the book inside. A new problem arrives: how will she finish reading the story? Uh, here's a good idea...

 

Buy

 

the

 

fucking

 

BOOK.

 

Or are books as seasonal as cider around here?! Meanwhile, Rainbow Dash decides to get sick again so she can check back in to the hospital. Doesn't work.

 

Fellatio. -- Winner of the Clever Caption Awards 2012

 

So when that doesn't work, she decides the next best option is to buy the damn book sneak into the hospital at night and get it. She initially succeeds until the patient who now resides in Rainbow Dash's place calls security. A chase sequence much like the one that happened in Daring Do persists until she is caught bird hoofed. That's when conveniently all of her friends are around to hear her explanation. Twilight agrees to lend Rainbow Dash her copy, showing the jock that there was nothing to be ashamed of and

. Spike chimes in to say "Yeah! I mean, just look at me!" and proceeds to kiss his muscles before Rainbow Dash and Twilight give him a confused look, leading him to walk away without word. This got a genuine laugh out of me because it wasn't overplayed like most "yeah, just like me" jokes. There wasn't some pizzicato string pluck followed by over-exaggerated "isn't he/she stupid" responses from the opposing characters. It's just a dead look and a dull walk away. GG, MLP.

 

I had to take this picture myself because no one else appreciates the genius.

 

In the end, Rainbow Dash got to finish her story and everyone else came back to life I guess. And so concludes "Read It and Weep"

 

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I actually really enjoy this episode. It's a great development episode for Rainbow Dash, it's got great comedy, and it's very fun to follow along with. Sure, does "Daring Don't" shit on this experience? Yes, but I don't think it's "Crusaders of the Lost Fuck-Up" bad that it shatters everything that's good about what came before it. I still love "Read It and Weep" despite some of its flaws. This is a fan-favorite episode, and I can see why. People probably relate to the parallels of watching MLP for the first time. I don't, because once again, I could give 7 dicks whether someone approves of my media taste, but what's so great about it remains there. Is this the best episode of the season? No, but I'm still giving "Read It and Weep" a solid 9/10. Beautiful jobs.

 

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Well now I have two things to fix. First, my Hell Transporter is on the fritz, and now my headphones clean snap in two. (Seriously, though, they did snap. Fuucckk). This is going to be a serious chore.

 

....

 

Unlesss...

 

*DOES SCIENCY TECHNOLOGY FUSION THINGY WITH TRANSPORTER AND HEADPHONES*

 

Eureka! I've cured everything!

 

...
Well, I still don't have headphones, but I think the Hell Transporter won't teleport me at random anymore! Let's give it a second.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

HUZZAH, IT W-*VWARP*