It's a wonderful thing when your Hell Transporter works and you can come here in advance as opposed to the review starting without you. You can have delightful conversations with Hitler, help wipe out an entire race of people, and still make it back in time for Pinkie Pie's Pony Parties. Speaking of Pinkie Pie, this episode has her shit written all over it. "A Friend in Deed". So let's not delay, and crack into what "A Friend in Deed" a friend in needs.

 

*LAUGH TRACK* LOL THAT WAS TEN TIMES BETTUR THAN "GRIFFON THE FUCK OFF" LELELE *LAUGH TRACK SUM MOR*

 

Spoilers ahead.

 

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What? I told you there were spoilers ahead. You idiots don't listen!

 

So this one opens up with Pinkie Pie putting on some shitty 80's electronic gym music so that she can put on some shitty 80's clothing and do some shitty 80's shit. Actually, she is trying to make the twins laugh again. But her 80's shit doesn't work on those millennial motherfuckers and are instead amused by her sitting on some jacks. Comedy genius. Next, they're going to laugh at a stick being broken in half. After the title sequence gives me stage 4 lung cancer, we see Pinkie Pie strolling through the town greeting all the citizens. When asked how she remembers everything about everyone, she explains that she enjoys seeing people die smile. A very obscure musical number ensues.

 

Hey! Look! Transfomers: Prime Season 2 premieres tonight at 8:30/5:30p!

 

As you see at the end of that song, Pinkie Pie meets a piss-angry donkey that isn't having two teaspoons of that pink pony's shit. After we learn that his name is Rhinox "Cranky Doodle Donkey", Pinkie Pie sings a short song that she's "never met [him] but [he's her] new friend and [she's his] best friend Pinkie Pie." It didn't rhyme, so it got poor reviews from contemporary music critics. However, contemporary music critics can kill themselves...except for Todd in the Shadows. You're not allowed to die. Anyways, after Cranky tells Pinkie to eat shit, Pinkie Pie reviews the steps to making instant best friends, although something went wrong. Well, I'm sure Derpy would know what went wrong.

 

Great, now the PC SJW Tumblr cuntlickers are censoring My Little Pony too! What's next?! Teletubbies are too violent?!

 

Pinkie Pie is determined to make Cranky Doodle Donkey lighten the fuck up. Small talk doesn't work, so she whips out the "Welcoming Wagon" and sings a little "Welcoming Song." Wow, three songs, 10 minutes in, and none of them are annoying? This is a miracle! However, the "Welcoming Wagon" shoots Cranky's wig off, and Pinkie Pie, thinking it's a spider, smashes it into oblivion. That's when Pinkie goes to the rooftops and shouts around asking if anyone has a toupee. Because as she yelled, "THIS DONKEY IS REALLY, REALLY BAAALDD." This gets Ponyville to laugh a bit and piss Cranky off even more. Pinkie Pie is doing an incredible job. A+.

 

He is really, really bald, though....

 

Pinkie Pie now quests to make it up to Cranky, first by taking him to the spa. That sort of....doesn't work...ish. Meanwhile, Pinkie Pie gets a new hairpiece for Cranky from Rarity. It's probably been used in cosplay by her many "clients" in the prostitution business, and it's probably infested with crab lice. But Cranky seems to like it, apparently, so GG. However, while the donkey is starting to warm up, there's still no smile. So Pinkie Pie plots to visit Cranky at his house, where he is unpacking. There she spots a snowglobe she likes, but Cranky mentions that he got that there globe in Manehattan, where he was looking for a "friend". Was it Blue from Blue's Clues? You have to look for the paw prints you amateur. That's how you fucking play! Actually, I was incorrect, this was a "special friend" that Cranky's referring to. Before we can get further clarification, Pinkie Pie accidentally sets this photo album on fire.

 

For fuck's sake, Pinkie! Before you attempt firebending, you must first learn water and earth!!!

 

Cranky gets cranky again and tells Pinkie Pie to lick a cactus, and that he'll never be her friend. Pinkie Pie consults Twilight on the issue; you know, the anti-social one. Both she and Rainbow Dash tell Pinkie Pie that she's just going to have to accept that she can't be friends with everybody. She says that she will do this.....right after he accepts her apology. Twilight subsequently facebooks. Get it? Facebook? I'm the fucking God of comedy. Anyways, Pinkie Pie skips to Cranky's house where a chase scene ensues. While she gets to apologize, Cranky refuses to accept it and Pinkie insists on acceptance. As they run and skadoodle all over Equestria, Cranky explains that Pinkie destroyed the only thing he had of remembering "her". Pinkie Pie ponders this piss for a bit, and then returns to the donkey with a surprise.

 

Hey! Look! It's that ass that asked Pinkie Pie that creepy question earlier!

 

Turns out that one-line mule wasn't such a one-off character. It's Matilda, the "special friend" that Cranky has been searching for. An explanation and a little backstory ensues, but no one gives ten fucks. Or at least I don't care enough to tell any of you. Essentially, they have the same scrapbook and they met each other in the year 1492 and someone can't read notes for shit. The end. After some loving and a kiss from Matilda, Cranky Doodle Donkey finally smiles and accepts Pinkie Pie as his friend, which sends Pinkie Pie flying several miles into the air somehow.

 

I don't want to know where those explosives have been stored.

 

Cranky and Matilda say they want some peace and quiet, likely to screw each other nuts. So Pinkie Pie obliges...almost. And that concludes "A Friend in Deed".

 

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This has long been one of my favorite episodes from the series. As you might imagine, my overall opinion is that it's very enjoyable. However, it's got a strong message of "you can't befriend everyone", which is something the show nowadays seems to completely neglect. Pinkie Pie is also particularly entertaining in this episode as she is in most, but unlike many stories involving one-off characters, Cranky Doodle is actually a good supporting role. The way he and Pinkie Pie bounce off each other in this one is miles better than any forgettable one-off from season four or five that has the personality of an X-ACTO knife. Even the songs are enjoyable in this one, and there's three of those motherfuckers! Needless to say, this episode is an excellency, and I'm very proud to give "A Friend in Deed" a 10/10 as a result.

 

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Well, that was very pleasant.

 

This episode has put me in a pretty good mood. And, of course, my favorite thing to do when I'm in a good mood is slowly detach the limbs of helpless cattle and use them as clubs to beat my children with. Therefore, it's time to make those mistakes of mine pay for being born. Until next time, take care!