Specifically, my gender identity. Now, on my profile currently it says that I am a transgender and I have said that before. Though I had this weird nagging feeling that putting it that way... well... isn't 100% accurate. I think it warrants an explanation (although this is pretty vague).

It happened yesterday, while I was in my dad's truck going to help him feed somebody else's animals (pigs mostly.. gross creatures ). I had the thought that... well... I can't put it into words exactly, but if I could something like "maybe I'm not entirely sure I'm a woman on the inside 100%...". This thought emerged thinking over some elements of the somewhat recent past. One time my ex-boyfriend (whom has been by a couple of times in the last couple of months) commented about my profile's background being a bit more... uhm... masculine than expected (this happened like a year and a half or so ago). Sure, that input was well appreciated and it gave me the cute ( ) Pikachu picture I have tiled now. But, that background represented me fine, I believe (at the time... I believe it was related to that game I stopped playing about 2 weeks ago because other people in its community were extremely harmful to my psyche.

The thought was intriguing and it's kind of kept in the back of my mind for the past day or so. It makes me think that maybe I should call myself more of a feminine androgyne, rather than straight up transgender, which of course further complicates my already complicated self. Makes sense actually... With things I've seen taking repeated gender role tests (I used to be really compulsive about it...). Most times I got a feminine-leaning androgynous result, these including a recent SaGE test I took. Now I'm not regarding their opinion on my gender as my own, but it actually makes sense now that I get a result of androgynous... Something just feels odd with the way I represent myself, in comparison to, well, myself. Not entirely sure of what I am anymore...