I'm still kind of dead from "Rainbow Falls"...*vomit*

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God I hope this is better than "Rainbow Falls". "Three's A Crowd" opens up with Spike receiving the mail. Twilight immediately murders Spike, however, so that she can catch hold of the mail and see if Princess Cadence said yes to coming over this weekend. Is this the Equestrian equivalent to going down in the DMs? Then Fluttershy rudely barges in to tell Twilight that the Rare Creatures Preserve, aka Pimp Hotline, has allowed her access to observe the endangered Breezies.

.......................................OH SHIT, NO, THAT EPISODE'S COMING TOO. FUCK ME! FUCK ME! GGHAGAGUIORIJHJUIOPSAOKJHNBGHUIOLKMNBHJKLNBVhjkSELECTIVESERVICENUMBERafter the title sequence foams my thighs into twigs, subsequently burning all muscles in my face and causing me to convulse in a seizure-like fashion, we see everyone at the train bidding Fluttershy farewell for her trip to see the Breezies, as Twilight awaits the arrival of Princess Cadence. She hopes that the two of them can spend some quality-ass time together, and it's about damn ready for it too. Fucking every time the two characters would interact the fate of the goddamned world has hung in the balance. Rainbow Dash calls Twilight's wishes to go to some Starswirl the Bearded museum lame..................Rainbow Dash will be tasting the fury of my assault rifle in the near future. Now that I have expendable cash I'll probably buy a giant Rainbow Dash plush just to blow it up. That means I can fund the franchise and blow off some steam all at once. Suddenly, Flash Sentry makes his first appearance since Equestria Hurls to welcome Princess Cadence to Ponyville!

And thus, in this single appearance in which he lacks dialogue, Flash Sentry's presence spawned endless forum threads of tantrum.

So the two go off and about their day, and the remaining friends briefly talk about how they wish their day goes well. Then Discord spins like a frisbee from out of the sky and into a tree near the train station, and henceforth, this episode earned a million points. Except, Discord's skin is completely blue and he's sneezing out his ass, indicating he has some influenza. A scene occurs where he directly sneezes on Rainbow Dash and covers her in snot. Ten million more points for that. Discord is the true creator of the universe. So he says he needs Fluttershy to nurse him back to health, but she's obviously gone. So he turns to the other four ponies, which scares off Rainbow Dash. Victory is sweet. He for some reason tells Pinkie Pie to fuck off and instead chooses Applejack and Rarity as his personal caretakers. But once he learns that Twilight and Cadence are painting the town, he gets those two sick so he can crash their party....in.....diabolical genius? Erm, Discord, you're my spirit animal and everything, but your motivation seems...shaky at best. What does he possibly have to gain from fucking up their day? Twilight and Cadence of all ponies? Why not Rainbow Dash. She's the one that needs to swallow a shit ton of cyanide! Alas...

Twilight, in deep mediation, has no time for Discord's decapitation.

Discord weasels his way into Twilight's day, and even still with a really odd persistence of his..."goals". It works, and Twilight takes him back to her library and puts him in bed. Ah, now I see why he wanted Rarity initially. Lap dance all day and night. Before Twilight and Cadence go, Discord makes one small request....that he get his own musical number. That's right. Discord + Musical Number. *jizz* *jizz* *jizz* *jizz* *jizz* ........................... *jizz*, with just a hint of cringe in some spots. He goes through a whole list of inane things that he'd like to have, but ultimately ends up deciding on a glass of water, which he ends up spilling after the song is over. Comedy gold as always. Later, Discord explains that there is a cure to this blue flu, but it comes from a flower on a hill at the edge of Equestria that must be plucked at sunset, and then turn into an elixir to cure him. Because of course. Also, since Discord is in no condition to travel, but is still really the only one who knows where this flower is, some arrangements will have to be made to transport him there. And all I'm thinking is, "Discord..............you really didn't have anything else you wanted to do today, huh?" Alas...

Bullshit. Nothing that size could possibly be airborne. It's wayyyy too small..................................like my dick.

When Cadence and Twilight arrive, they find this flower is much bigger than Discord described, but since they're both magical gods, they can lift it together. Thing is, this unleashes a giant snake with a tri-lipped vagina mouth that springs coils that was living underneath it. Of course. Through the next minute or so, the two of them have an epic battle with the beast until they decide to trap it back in its hole.....with rocks. You.......fucking idiots. They're just rocks.....ROCKS that you JUST put there. Do you really expect that to be stable enough to trap that giant thing?

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It, apparently does.

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That...doesn't making any sense. Then, of course, Discord reveals that he was faking the flu this whole time, which is of course completely obvious to Twilight and Cadence.

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What? You're telling me they were shocked that Discord was faking it? Even though they gave him suspicious looks every time there was a plot hole in his story, they still managed to be shocked?

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OOoooooooooooooooooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhFFFFFFUCCCK YOU.

But to top it all off, Discord's motivations are finally revealed. He wanted to see if, since Twilight has apparently said that the two of them were friends, she would literally go to the ends of Equestria for him. And...she passed.

.......

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-I can buy that. It's not exactly a particularly strong motivation, but it at least seems like something Discord would reasonably do. He also reveals his own edge of wanting to sabotage Twilight's day with Cadence, though, which I still can't see him reasonably caring about. Discord's always had a fuck-all attitude, what's the deal here? What did Cadence do to him? Granted, Cadence says that her day-to-day life has been boring and that this adventure was change in the status quo. In which case........Shining Armor definitely needs to up his game in the bedroom, but I digress. Everyone basically goes home happy, and Twilight gets to write in her gay ass journal that even chaotic days can be a great experience that brings friends closer. Until it's revealed that the snake thingy got Discord sick for real this time. It's okay, though, 'cause Rarity's here to give him a lapdance now.

"I've been a baaaaaaaaaaaaad boy, haven't I?"

Egh, so concludes "Three's A Crowd".

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This episode's probably bad. On one hand, the comedy styling of Discord never ceases to entertain, and seeing Twilight and Cadence interacting on a less stressful level than Equestria's fate has certainly been long overdue, plus the Discord song made me cream buckets. However, the story in this episode isn't very strong. The concept itself of Discord fucking with Twilight's day just because is already thin. I mean, really, in concept it's funny, but it's not like you can take it very far given this show's television rating, and really it doesn't make sense for even Discord to embark on such winding quest to sabotage Twilight and Cadence's friendship considering he has nothing to gain from the experience. You can't really argue that he's jealous, because Twilight and Discord don't exactly have a strong bond to begin with. Discord's jealousy in "Make New Friends but Keep Discord" makes more sense, though that episode has its own problems. So it just rubs off as lazy writing to give the plot a foil. Then, the fact that Twilight and Cadence seemed to be catching on to Discord's bullshit but still end up shocked at this is completely clumsy. Others have commented on the flanderization of Pinkie Pie in the first act of the episode, which I can see as well. There's also Rainbow Dash's "lame" line which, when I first watched this episode, I hated because it seemed like a regression of the maturity of her character and seemed like especially unfounded hostility. So, there's a lot of shit in this episode, and most of what's good about it is really trivial. I think "Three's A Crowd" deserves a 5/10.

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Yep, that was at least better than "Rainbow Falls"...*vomits blood*

...I need therapy.