Testing, Testing, 1, 2, 3  /  Somebody please decapitate me  /  I need some weed or a nose full of speed  /  I like big tits.............err...........greed. 

There, I finally wrote out a poem that's not a haiku and it only took me 77 entries to do so. Now you can all shower me with money and hot naked women. What did I think of this episode when it first aired? 

On 4/7/2014 at 6:36 PM, PrymeStriker said:

I thought this episode was alright. Nothing that wow'd me today. 

................K. This is "Testing, Testing, 1, 2, 3"

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This episode opens up with Twilight encouraging Rainbow Dash to study hard for her History of the Wonderbolts exam, which will determine if she qualifies to become a Wonderbolt. She encourages her so much that she decides to tutor her! Err....oookay? I mean, the only difference between this and dancing elephant eels is that the latter is a situation that would actually occur. I don't know many people, even friends, who would jump at the chance to tutor someone else. But, whatever, it's Twilight. After the "Skip Intro" button c-...oh, hey, there's the dancing elephant eels...she begins trying out some methods to help Rainbow Dash learn. They begin with reading and highlighting...which doesn't work because Rainbow Dash highlights everything. So she tries a history lecture, which actually results in a pretty funny scene where...for no fucking reason...Rainbow Dash starts rhythmically creeking on a chair while Owlowicious and Spike respectively toot a melody and play a snare drum. Like, they just fucking come out of nowhere and start doing this. It's fantastic, especially Spike's face. 

You know, on the MLP Wiki, the caption for this segment is "This is glorious". I have to agree. Look at Spike. He looks like he just fucked all three of the CMC at once. 

Rainbow Dash gets fed up with this boring shit, though, which prompts Twilight to throw a pop quiz at her. Only when Rainbow Dash fails each question does she realize, "I'm retarded", and panics about learning what she must. She starts blaming Twilight and burns history as a waste of time, which leads to a debate that can only be broken up by none other than...Fluttershy. She suggests that maybe we should try other teaching methods, for instance, a play put on by all the pets. So, Fluttershy also knows the history of the Wonderbolts. Well...she's a Pegasus, maybe they teach that in...Pegasus school. Like how they taught me how to skin humans in church. When this clearly doesn't help Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie shows up to suggest musical intervention as a method of learning and proceeds t-

...

No no no NO NO NO NO NO, FUCKING NO NO FUCKITY FUCK FUCKER FUCKTOWN, SON OF A FUCK-SHIT COCKMOUTHED MOTHERFUCKING BITCHMONGER, NOT IN A MILLION CENTURIES ON THIS BRIGHT ASS EARTH, OR IN THE HEAT DEATH OF THE FUCKING UNIVERSE IS THAT EVER GOING TO BE OKAY. That's not even remotely amusing. This part is so gimmicky you can just feel the show going "HEUHE, WE'RE FUNNY AND RELEVANT EVERYONE LUV US." I'll take Spike's face over this any day of the year. So, aside from that awful sequence taking place, why does Pinkie Pie know about the Wonderbolts' history? Are they just going to shovel through all the main cast members and pretend like it's normal for everyone to know the Wonderbolts' history by heart EXCEPT for the one pony who needs to know it? 

.........................For fucks sake, that's exactly what's gonna happen.

Alright, points off for this shit. No way in hell is it realistically possible for Rarity and Pinkie Pie to know such convoluted history offhand and not Rainbow Dash, the only pony in the group that gives a flying fuck about the Wonderbolts. In the spirit of Sgt. Pepper's 50th anniversary yesterday, here's a good analogy. Me being the only person in my circle of friends that gives a shit about the Beatles (which is true, but I digress), but everyone else is able to name every song they ever recorded on every album they've ever released and can recount their entire history on command except for me. Does that make any lick of sense? Nope. SO RARITY takes Rainbow Dash back to her boutique to display a fashion show regarding the Wonderbolts history...which freaks Rainbow Dash out for some reason. Applejack is there in easily the best scene in this whole episode. First, she slights Rarity off hand by stating "this fashion show nonsense wouldn't help me learn nothing either". We subsequently see Rarity display this face without any of that cheezy tuba musical cue that tells the audience to laugh, and so it just comes off as this deadpan burn which is hilarious. So Rainbow Dash eggs Applejack for a study technique, to which she replies, "who me? Oh, I got nothing." This almost saves the convolution of before considering there's at least one pony in the group that doesn't know jack shit about the Wonderbolts. Finally, when Applejack asks how much time she has to learn all this, and Rainbow Dash states that she has 12 hours, Applejack goes: "Ah, then you're up a creek" and walks off screen. This interaction is fine art.

Applejack joins Spike's face in the Hall of Fame. 

Finally, Rainbow Dash gets overwhelmed and depressed and storms off, saying she'll never pass the test and that she's too dumb to learn anything. FINALLY, RAINBOW DASH ADMITS HER STUPIDI-*ahem*, I mean...those points I took off? They're slowly getting earned back with every passing minute succeeding Pinkie Pie's bullshit. This is one of the deeper looks into Rainbow Dash's character, as I'll talk a little more about later. As she flies, we see Rainbow Dash as she takes note of very minute things, and saves Twilight from an attacking helicopter while the two are talking. That's when Twilight realizes Rainbow Dash's learning curve and comes up with a plan. After she take her on one last flight, Rainbow Dash realizes that she's learned the entire history of the Wonderbolts. How? By planting subliminal messages like illuminiggas on the ground below while they were flying, Rainbow Dash took note of every minute thing like she did before. They had costumes, buzzwords, and big signs just like the feminist rallies, and it all worked! Rainbow Dash knew fuckin' everything! Rainbow Dash finally learned the history of the Wonderbolts, but taught Twilight an important lesson about individual learning methods. Dash, of course, scores a 100%.

Cue 80's music and roll credits to the moon. GOTTA HAVE A MONTAGE. 

So concludes "Testing, Testing, 1, 2, 3"

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........Nice.

Yeah, aside from that blip in the middle with the awful Pinkie Pie rapping and the convolution of everyone except for Applejack and Rainbow Dash knowing the Wonderbolts' history, this was a pretty amazing episode. I must not have been paying enough attention when I first watched this. Rainbow Dash has some incredible depth in this episode into what I can only assume is her own form of ADHD. We see a character struggle with learning things both the traditional and unconventional ways, which results in Rainbow Dash calling herself a stupid loser with no future. Pretty powerful shit if you ask me, which makes the look on her face when she finally learns what she needs to learn all the more rewarding. We also get a great moral/fuck you to American school systems in this episode. No one way of learning is going to work on everyone. Individualized approaches are the way to go, which is something that has enormous real-world applicability. To ice this bitch of a cake, we have two great moments of comedy that had me fuckin' rolling; Spike's face and Applejack's scene. All of these are some pretty great reasons to love this episode, so much to the point that I can even overlook those two minutes in the middle that had me pretty pissed. Yeah...fuck it, I think "Testing, Testing, 1, 2, 3" deserves a solid 10/10. Been a while since I've given one of those...............wait a minute, no it's not...I gave a 10/10 two episodes ago.

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I manufacture AIDS.