[This is a Life Advice vent I wrote couple of years ago.  I wanted to save it in my blog for easier access.  Some revisions have been made.  To those of you who have been reading a bunch of my recent blog entries, yer gonna be like, "Oh, Celestia, there he goes again!"  Yup, here I go again.  But, in my defense, I didn't write all of these recent ones back to back.  They were spread out over quite awhile in Life Advice, but I wanted to put them in here for easy access because I'm in the process of a little project to compile and organize my writings into something useful.]

Hi, I'm Justin Case.  You may remember me from such vent threads as "Can Men Be Beautiful?", and "Proposals, Rings, and Double Standards".

Today, I want to talk about something else that really upsets me.

Sex.

I'm so sick of sex being thought of as something dirty, naughty, or corrupt.  I'm sick of sexuality being thought of as something that destroys innocence.  I just don't see it that way.

Firstly, let's take a moment to consider the definitions of innocent, and it's opposite--guilt.  Why would these concepts necessarily have anything to do with sex?  I submit that they don't.  For all intents and purposes, "innocent" usually just means that you haven't done anything wrong.  Well, provided that you don't view sex as being wrong, then there's no logical reason to think sex has robbed you of innocence.  We tend to imagine that kids systematically lose their innocence as they grow and are exposed to mature things.  I argue that this is a faulty mindset in which we have confused innocence with ignorance.  If one has sex, then the only thing they are "guilty" of...is having sex, which is only wrong if you believe that sexuality is immoral or sinful, and....

As an atheist, I certainly don't believe in the concept of sin, and I can't fathom or respect the idea of a god who condemns a natural expression of love.  I also don't believe that there is any inherent virtue or nobility in abstinence (though it can be a very wise decision in many circumstances, especially when young, but that does not suggest inherent virtue or nobility.)  That said, sex is still serious business, and should not be taken lightly.  But I'm getting a bit off topic, and I've covered that stuff more in depth in "The Problem With Virginity."

I don't see why sex should be thought of as dirty or not innocent.  I'm tired of hearing that if someone thinks about sex a lot, then they have a "dirty mind".  No I don't.  I think about sex a lot, but I don't believe my mind is dirty, because I don't think sex is dirty.  Forgive me for sounding cheesy or perhaps romantic or idealistic, but I believe sex to be the most beautiful expression of true love.  That's what it is to me.  There's nothing dirty or guilty or corrupt about it.  Not to me.

That's not to say that it's always appropriate.  Certainly not.  It's an adult topic, and there's a proper time and place for it.  I think it's fine for children to learn about it in the right and appropriate way, though.  And if you think that children are ignorant about sex and don't have sexual thoughts and feelings, think again.  I had sexual feelings and attraction and fantasies in first grade, and I had a standard, sheltered childhood.  (I.e. I wasn't exposed to porn at a young age or something.)  All of those feelings came from within.  I didn't understand all the mechanics of it.  Of course not.  I didn't know exactly how sex worked.  I didn't know much about the biology.  But I knew boys and girls were different, of course, and I knew those differences could be used in some way or another to express love physically.  And I fantasized about it.  A lot.  I was in first grade.  Did that make me a guilty, corrupt person?  I don't feel any differently now, really, except that I'm more mature, and have 30 years of education, experience, knowledge, etc.  I'm less ignorant, but I don't believe I'm less innocent.  I'm still a virgin, but if I ever find someone who will be my mate, I don't believe I will feel any less innocent afterward.  If I find the right person, I will feel right and good about what we've done, not guilty.

Circling back a bit--I think it's fine for children to learn about it.  I had these feelings at a young age, and my parents taught me something about it in a proper, gentle, and educational manner.  This can help children to feel less confused about themselves and their feelings.  But there's obviously a time and place for it.  I don't mean to say we should have sexuality in kid's cartoons.  But what annoys me is when someone is criticized for finding something sexy, and they're told to stop corrupting the innocent show, and to get their mind out of the gutter, etc.  I don't think it corrupts anything or destroys any innocence.  I happen to think it's quite beautiful, actually.  It's just something that's not appropriate for the actual show (any kid's show).  There's a time and place.

I wish our society would change the way we think about sex.  Our culture tends to demonize it while being obsessed with it at the same time.  There must be a healthier perspective, one where we can think about it as a beautiful, natural, and wonderful thing, but at the same time, something that is not to be taken lightly.  I think this is more how it tends to be in primitive cultures.  The media often destroys healthy perspectives, I think.

It's also unfortunate that sex is used to hurt people, but this is true of many things, and that's no reason to demonize it in principle.

I think it's a truly life-enriching thing, and I don't want to be called dirty for thinking so.