Hey.  So this one is probably going to ruffle a few feathers, rattle a few cages, frazzle a few manes, steam a few hams, refry a few beans.  Don't take it too seriously, k?

Y'know what really grinds my gears?  When people refer to the heart as if it knows and feels things.  Y'know, they say "heart" when they really mean "brain".  This is just leftovers from a time when we actually thought that the heart was the emotion center.  We obviously know this isn't true.  I don't need to explain any of the biology to you.  I don't need to convince anyone that your heart doesn't contain memories or emotions.  We know that all of that is in the brain.  We've understood that for a long time, and there isn't anyone who would deny that.  And yet, every day of the week, people love to say, "what I know in my heart to be true", or "I know that song by heart", or "I love you with all my heart".  Man, that really steams my yams.    No, you don't, you guber!  You know it in your brain to be true, you know the song by brain, and you love people with your brain.

Yeah, yeah, I know, I know--gotta have inspiration, pretty sounding language and all.  It expresses some kind of "passion" that the brain apparently doesn't.  Nobody wants to live in a world where we put "I love you with all my cerebral cortex" in Valentine's cards.  Hurumph!    Now, I'm not against romance and whimsy!  Not at all!  I'm a huge advocate for romance and whimsy.  I'm not advocating for some Vulcan world of pure logic.  That would be boring and stupid.  The world would horrible without romance and whimsy.  But I guess I like some kind of logical basis, even for my whimsy.  I always ask why we do things.  If the answer is "just for fun", then that's fine.  But here's the thing: we didn't pick the heart to do that with because we thought it sounded fun, romantic, or whimsical.  We did it because at one point, centuries ago, they actually thought that it was the emotion center because you actually feel it do things when you're scared, or nervous, or excited, or in love, whereas you don't feel your brain at all.  It's just a goofy mistake, that's all.  It's no more romantic or sense-making than saying, "what I know in my liver to be true", or "I love you with all my pancreas".  Really.  It makes no more sense.

But yet, it's just too entrenched, too ubiquitous, and too popular to change.  It's not going away.  I'll tell ya, though, I would actually say "I love you with all my cerebral cortex".  In fact, I actually have said that.