Nothing great happened except a total outburst of emotions ending in an endless night of drinking booze and doing things that I swore would end. The hard truth of the day after seem to hit harder than all the jokes, all the insults by other people. But what’s left in the end is just a destroyed world. Every step forward I did is now gone. I'm further behind than I was in a long time. But all these things. All of our own actions keep not only consequences but also lessons to learn. Going three steps back isn't always a bad thing. Sure you are back to bad habits, self-destructive behavior or even on a road that in the end keeps nothing for you except your own death. Being stuck in a circle of habits, in a muddy whole is bad but the never ending steps backwards to where you were before are not the worst, which can happen. You get a new point of standing. A new watch point. New perspective about your problem that you before solved on a way, which didn't helped you on the long run. 

Just think about a leaking pipe. Te first you do is getting some tape. But it breaks again so you switch the pipe but it breaks again. So you change it again and some day you get harder pipes. And they still break. You take a step back. Watch yourself. How you act. What you throw down your pipes and you see that the pipes only break because you throw all your shit down these pipes. Blades, alcohol, bleach, bones.... all bad things. This is your problem.

Take a step back. Your problems, friends or what ever is broken are not the pipes. You can't change your friends or the way booze interacts with your brain when you drink it. No, the metaphorical pipes are your body. Your psyche. All these bad things, alcohol, self harm, interactions with bad people and so on are the things that you yourself throw at your body and you think that your body and mind will resist. That they will not break but no it does when enough hits it. It's like a metal chain. You hit this chain with rocks. Many times. It may not break the first time you hit but every hit leaves deep marks. And one day the chain might burst into a thousand parts. It were simply too much. 

Isn't it an ironic that I talk about alcohol as a destructive thing. Something that breaks the chain of life but that alcohol can also be a chain that holds the human being down like a cage. It's not the double meaning of alcohol. It's the chain. The meaningfulness of words and even the many metaphorical things they can stand for and all these different  life lessons and wisdom you can get out of a single metaphor.