Hey.  Y'know what really grinds my gears?  Yawning.  I hate it.  It's so stupid.  What's the point?  There isn't any.  Yeah, I know, I know--I could research it and learn, but clearly it's stupid and we could do without it.  You know and I know it.  It doesn't accomplish anything.  I mean, clearly it's not integral to survival or something.  You don't feel differently or better afterwards.  I used to hear that it was because your body needs extra oxygen, but that's a load of bunk because I'll take several deep breaths and still feel the yawns coming on.  It's not like we need it to let us know that we're tired, either.  I'm quite often tired and sleepy without yawning.  Conversely, I often yawn like crazy when I'm not even tired!  It's not like we'd just stay awake forever and forget to sleep if we stopped yawning.  You'd feel tired just the same.  Obviously, if we just stopped yawning, we'd be fine.  So what's the f*cking point?!  It's so annoying and disruptive to life! 

Here's a cruel and mindblowing irony for you: as crazy as this sounds, sometimes I'm kept awake by my yawning!  Seriously!  I regularly (like once or twice a week) go to bed, and as soon as my head hits the pillow, the yawning impulse starts, and it's so overpowering that I can't relax and sleep.  I just keep yawning hard every 3 seconds or so and it won't stop!  I try to just relax and breathe but I can't!  Sometimes it makes me take like an extra half hour to get to sleep!  Isn't that the f*ckest thing you've ever heard?  I mean, what a sh*tload of f*ck. 

I really hate sneezing, too.  I sneeze a lot and I hate it.  But at least sneezing sort of has a purpose.  Y'know, expelling allergens.  I'm somewhat dubious that it actually accomplishes anything, but at least sneezing tries to be useful.  But yawing is just useless bullsh*t.

So... how many times did all of you yawn while reading this?    Fun fact: anecdotal evidence suggests that lack of an impulse to yawn when seeing others yawn (i.e. lack of "sympathetic" yawning) could be characteristic of a sociopath.