>The Turnabout Storm one....did we ever find out which "bad ending" they picked?

ooh, interesting brave to go over past fics you're unhappy with. 

Lyra’s Human Weiners

Transcending Fluttershy Sky this is crazy I had to abridge it! Ok, I abridged the first two chaps. So silly!

Princess Celestia, tries to explain the origin of it all...

"In the beginning, there was nothing but nothing. But that nothing soon created a deity. [That deity created, souls, morals, insanity and the deity's daughter. The daughter made immorality, evil spirits, entropy, decay and destruction and the daughter's son, Sky. Sky also made destruction.]

---

[Sky wakes up]

Hey, I'm awake! How is this possible? The only answer is that I must have fallen asleep and woken up..."

The person was in a bedroom lying on a bed covered in empty beer bottles that he had been lying on.

"These empty bottles don't have anything in them..." said [Sky], "why do they exist? Why do I exist?"

[Sky got out of bed and] saw a mysterious note on a computer desk, which read:

Hello Honey! I am your mother, and you are my son. I am an alicorn, a winged horse with a big long horn on her head, and you are a human... [I am also your teacher. Go to school.] I guess I can forgive you if you are late, for you drank too much beer, caught alcohol poisoning, died last night, and forced me to give birth to you again behind my back. That'll teach you to play too much Amnesia...

Yours is Truly,

...You Nothing"

"Hmm...if this letter is true, it can only be inferred that I have a mother and she's a winged horse with a horn on her head," he said to himself.

Sky then noticed something else on the computer desk, it was a copy of the computer game Amnesia: The Dark Descent.

He also noticed that there was a television in the room that said "CELESTIA IS WATCHING YOU" on the screen.

"She's watching me too?" Sky remarked. "I wonder if she can see what I'm doing and saying. I better get to school if that's the case."

Sky noticed that the only way to get to this school was to leave the room. As he left, he had to walk down the stairs, as his room in this house was on the second floor.

"These stairs descend for an eternity down to the floor," Sky pondered. "I wonder where they lead..."

Sky walked down the stairs in a foreboding manner.

Sky opened the front door, but he did not find the school. All he could find was the ponies, earth, unicorn and dead. [He also found] smog, air pollution, and beautiful rainbows. 

Sky looked at the world.

"Wow, there's ponies with arms and unicorns driving in cars and pegasi making graves in the sky so that there can be rainbows. [But no school.]"

Sky said as he noticed the sidewalk that was a line that ended with a curve.

"That sidewalk looks like it's a line about to turn into a circle, so I assume I will have to walk in circles until I reach my destination."

Sky walked around in a linear manner as well as in a circular motion until he bumped into one of the earth ponies.

"Hey, watch where you're going..." the earth pony took notice of Sky's appearance. "You have arms and legs and you use them to walk...

"GO BACK TO EQUESTRIA YOU WORTHLESS BRONY WANNABE!" the earth pony pulled a pistol [and died]

"Did he kill himself?" [Sky wondered].

The crowd gasped in horror.

"I AM CELESTIA," a mist that resembled Celestia that came out of Sky's head spoke, "AND YOU FOOLISH IDIOTS WILL NOT HURT MY SON."

As they ran away, the mist teleported Sky to where the school was.

"Wow, I'm finally here," Sky said

Sky walked into the classroom

"Ah, you finally came," a winged horse dressed in a white shirt, black pants, a blazer, a red tie, and glasses with a horn on its head said.

"Wait, you're Celestia?" Sky asked Celestia. "But if you're my mother...who is my teacher?"

"Fool..." Celestia laughed. "I may be a winged horse with a horn on its head, your mother, and the creator of all humans, but that doesn't mean I'm not also...YOUR TEACHER!

 “I didn’t know..." Sky said. "Does that mean I’m just a lie?” Sky said like a liar who told lies.

" I’ve grown tired of the truth," [Celestia replied].

“Talking animals who can talk and drive?"

What did you just say?!” Celestia shouted. “You’re a human, but you’re not a horse right now!"

“Wait, I’m human but I’m not a horse?”

“Don’t you understand? YOU ARE THE WORST HUMAN BEING TO HAVE EVER BEEN BEING EXISTED!”

“The worst human being?” Sky took it to heart. “Wow, I guess I’m kind of a bad person.”

“DON’T EVEN DARE SAY THAT!”

Celestia went red, white, blue, and then back to white.

“Heh heh...sorry about that nervous breakdown,” Celestia remorsed. “I just get a little criminally insane every now and then. I almost forgot about our after-school lesson...which will take place...NOW.”

Celestia... unzipped her pants and revealed that she was wearing pregnancy pants. “I’m not going to teach you about evolution...I’m going to teach you...how to CREATE!”

Celestia grabbed the woman and the android that were tied up in the corner, and extended her jaw to a size so big that it was bigger than like, the like universe [and ate them].

“Wow, your mouth is pretty big,” Sky commented.

[Soon] Celestia's belly was big and round.

“This is how life is created my son.” Celestia said as Sky noticed that there was something tough, long, straight, and soft in Celestia’s pregnancy pants. It was a computer.

“I didn’t know it worked like that,” Sky replied.

“I shall now eat you...and become pregnant with you."

“You’re going to eat me, does that mean I’m going to be eaten?” Sky shook like peanut brittle.

"Class is dismissed."

Suddenly, a car was thrown through the wall and hit Sky dead on its arrival, and he was dead.

“Oh no, not again...” Celestia suddenly vomitted.

“Hey, I’ve been brought back to life,” Sky said. “Was I dead?”

“WHO THREW THAT CAR?!” Celestia shouted angrily. “Was it a unicorn?"

“No my faithless teacher,” Twilight said [as she] walked through the hole dressed in a black suit and an eyepatch and armed with a shotgun. “Class just started...”

“YOU IDIOT!” Celestia shouted.

Celestia was interrupted as Twilight hit Celestia in the forehead, causing her head to explode.

“Wow, that’s strange.” Sky said.

“Hello, Sky. I have killed your mother...it is time for you to follow in my footsteps and trust me now.”

“That sounds reasonable, but what’s your name?” Sky asked.

“I am an assassin, the most trusted pony in Equestria."

“Wow, your employers must really like you.”

“Alright, I’ve been honest with you, can you trust me to take you back to Equestria and raise you to be my apprentice?”

“Sure, I’ll gladly become your apprentice,” Sky agreed. "But just one and two questions...what’s Equestria and how did I come back to life again?”

“Equestria is your home town where you were born by your mother, Celestia,” Twilight explained. “That corpse lying there has been killed and has died and she’s dead now.”

“Thanks for answering my questions.”

Twilight and Sky both got into the car that Twilight threw, but unfortunately, it wouldn’t start.

“I wish I had a learner’s permit.” Twilight didn’t know how to drive like the other unicorns.

“I guess we’ll just have to do things manually, sit here and wait," Sky said stupidly.

“Wait, that’s it, MANUAL!” Twilight said. “Get out of the car, I know what to do!”

Both of them got out of the car as Twilight’s mouth extended a long way, just like Celestia’s.

“Just like Celestia taught me...” Twilight muttered.

“Wow, your mouth is pretty big,” Sky commented.

[Soon] Twilight's belly was big and round.

Something came out of Twilight’s pants, and it was...a living car.

"Carry us to a new world!” Twilight instructed [the car].

The living car did as it was instructed, for it was infused with the instruction manual, and followed all the rules of the road, so he allowed the maternal strangers inside of him.

“Wow, we’re inside of a living car, and the car is alive!” [Sky] shouted as they got on the road. “How did you do that?”

“The power of creation,” Twilight replied.

“Oh, now this all makes sense.”

Sky sensed the falsely true antilogic in the air.

[Meanwhile back at the school] Celestia’s head regenerated, and detached itself from her body. She could do it because she was not Celestia, she was [Robolestia], a magic robot. The robot was filled with destruction in its heart...ITS CHEST WAS FILLED WITH BOMBS.

[Robolestia]’s horn lit up again, and it stole all the knowledge that was in the learning school. [With this knowledge Robolestia blew up its body] while its head chased after [Twilight and Sky].

---

“Since Equestria is in another world, we’ll have to travel across the world for quite a long time before we reach another universe.” Twilight elaborated.

“Wow, that’s pretty far away,” responded Sky.

“NOT SO FAST FOR FUTILITY, ARE WE?!” the robotic head of Celestia shouted [at them].

“Your a stupidy," Twilight yelled [back].

“Silence, you factual myths!” Headlestia fired her magical tour of known facts at the car, “I’ll get you stoned!"

“Not in your childhood dreams!"

“You broken English arts!” Headlestia tried. “I’ll send you to a school bought with foreign money!"

“I hope my mother['s head] doesn’t destroy the car,” Sky showed concern, “I don’t want the car to get hurt or destroyed.”

“Keep the quiet concerns to the carried lingering remainder of yourself, it provides innumerable challenges to my ears! Can we pleadingly lower the volume please?!” Headlestia shouted.

The car was about to approach an impending bridge.

“HOLD IT THE MUSTARD YOU PICKLED HOTDOGS!” the hotheaded Headlestia barked like a dog.

“E!N!O!U!G!H! W!I!T!H! T!H!E! S!H!O!U!T!I!N!G!!” Twilight exclaimed.

[In the confusion] the car mounted the bridge but drove into a hole.

“Are we going to die and fall?” [Sky wondered.]

“NO... we will waterfall,” [Twilight replied.]

With that, Twilight fired a squirt gun that shoots tidal waves!

“...!” the car shouted feeling like a peeled grape [as it felt itself drowning].

[However, soon] the vehicle floated up to the surface in the water.

“No...the arc has...” Headelestia said her last words as [her metal head sunk below the waves].

---

“Wow, everyone in the world is dead,” Sky noticed. “Were you and the water the ones that killed them? I don’t why but I just feel...that that feels wrong.”

“Killing and dying are two different things my friend.” Twilight explained. “People don’t die when they are killed, because killing someone is the antithesis of dying yourself. They weren’t killed, they just died..."

“Oh, I think I understand what you mean now.” Sky comprehended. “But is the car going to live even though he was killed?”

“Actually...” said Twilight, “I think he is a living resident of the undead.”

“..!?,” proclaimed the car.

[Twilight activated] the car's GPS.

“ALL I CAN DO NOW IS LEAD YOU FROM EQUESTRIA TO EQUESTRIA,” [it proclaimed].

“Wait, we’re in Equestria, and we’re going to Equestria?” Sky asked. “I thought we were in the human world, now I don’t even know where we are.”

“Everywhere in all of the universes is Equestria, Sky,” Twilight replied. “That’s how it’s always been.....since the dawn of Fluttershy’s dark sky!”

"So how are we going to reach our destination?” Sky wondered.

“I know the way, we just have to follow the GPS.” Twilight assured.

“Alright.” Sky said.

Twilight got out her cell phone, [which was ringing, and put it to her upturned ear. “Hello,” she said].

“This is your boss...” Twilight’s boss reminded. “What’s the status?”

“Mission successful. I rescued Sky and showed [him] some of my evil ways just like you asked. The stupid boy is just as naive and oblivious as you said. I can even have a private conversation on the phone revealing all my secrets with him right next to me and he’d never suspect a thing.”

“Good work, Twilight.” the boss chuckled sinisterly.

“You know you can always trust a pacifist assassin...” Twilight laughed, “...Celestia. Goodbye.”

Twilight hung up as the princess on the other line was revealed to be...Princess Celestia.

“Woah,” Sky was shocked by this particular revelation, “you were on the phone with Celestia? You can talk to someone who’s dead?!”

“...” sighed the car.

“Of course I can...” Twilight laughed. “I’ve always been able to talk to the dead! HA HA HA! YOU’RE SO STUPID!”

“Wow!” a surprised Sky said.

You know, since we’re in Equestria right now, and our journey began at our destination, Sky thought, I wonder if this will be the end.

Unfortunately, the end was neither near or far away for our heroes.

This ends the story of Princess Celestia’s big horn, which is the beginning of the second dark sky.

Thank you for reading, hero!

Edited September 16, 2023 by North Star

enjoyed the parody so much that I recorded it. @Misty Shadow is it ok to share this around at all? maybe put in on my youtube to allow me to share it (it's just an itty bitty thing) if I credit you?

11 hours ago, North Star said:

enjoyed the parody so much that I recorded it. @Misty Shadow is it ok to share this around at all? maybe put in on my youtube to allow me to share it (it's just an itty bitty thing) if I credit you?

Sure, I have seen people do "dramatic readings" of my trollfics in the past. Just please disclose that I have retired from doing stories like that in the description. 

yay will do. something about reading trollfics out is so much fun