"Misinterpreting Words - In An Epic Way!" Episode 1: Breakfaster
Breakfast
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Guess what time it is! It's time to misinterpret words once more! Welcome back to "Misinterpreting Words - In An Epic Way!", I'm your host EpicEnergy, but this time you can call me Mr. Hungry! As the nickname suggests, I am indeed hungry, because the topic today is about food - breakfast to be more specific.
So let's take some time to really digest the meaning of this word "breakfast", pun possibly intended. Ah yes, breakfast - the meal that people eat at the start of the day, though not me since I wake up near lunchtime. But why is it really called "breakfast"? For those who read the pilot episode of this show, they'll know what comes next - silly and wild guesses and speculations! So let me guess the lore behind this peculiar yet widely accepted word. I will put it in the box below since it's a fairly large read.
So it all started when... let's say his name is Bob to keep his personal info anonymous, we don't want to give out names unless it's essential because it gives this show a bad reputation! Well anyways, it all started when Bob was on break at his full-time job. This was his first break of the day, though he's been working this full-time job for several years now so at this point it's second nature. So his routine began with walking into the breakroom and using the company coffee-maker to have a regular cup of caffeinated coffee. He then proceeded to eat 2 donuts from the free donuts box that the company set on the table next to the coffee. This was all he needed to make it to the lunch break, he's a simple man. It was at this time though that Bob encountered something that was part of his routine - you see, the company had hired double the workforce yesterday to help run the new department in the facility. Unfortunately the company didn't finish the additional breakroom yet, as there's no power in it. So Bob was just minding his own business when a large crowd came into the breakroom at full speed (these new workers were still under tight supervision so they were forced to walk fast to the breakroom and back to work afterwards). It was chaos, and Bob was suddenly reminded of those Black Friday crowds. Workers on break were everywhere, and the noise and lack of space was starting to bother Bob, so he decided to end his break early. It was frustrating, but eventually Bob calmed down when he went back into his normal routine for that day.
The other breaks he had were much better because he just went outside rather than stay in the breakroom. Sure enough, the day was over for Bob. When he was going back home from work, he was talking to his roommate. The roommate, let's call him Jimmy, said, "how was your day?". Well first thing that came to Bob's mind was that overcrowding incident. "During my first break it was chaos", Bob said, "because crowds of workers from the new department came into the breakroom way too fast for me to comprehend, so I had to end my break faster than normal". Jimmy commented, "hah, so you took a breakfast!" Bob, unaware of how popular that word would be, said, "Don't be silly and talk nonsense, it was an intense break!". But little did they know that Jimmy would go on to tell his coworkers about Bob's story and Jimmy's made-up term "breakfast", and they told their coworkers, and such was the beginning of the usage of the word "breakfast".
TL;DR - A guy named Bob had to take a break fast and his roommate made a joke and said Bob took a breakfast, and such was the beginning of the word breakfast.
Ok, so on a scale of 1-10, how accurate do you think my guess of the lore of the word "breakfast" is? Well if you didn't say 10, I challenge you to make a more accurate guess of that lore!
Now, lore aside, let's talk about the silliness of this term. It combines break and fast, but this makes no sense because who takes a break at the start of their day! Like most people get up, eat breakfast, do work and stuff, then take a break! You can't take a break from waking up, you just woke up! And fast, well that makes a little more sense because many people have to eat breakfast fast if they wake up late or have lots of stuff to do that day. So I petition for breakfast to be renamed, we must replace break with something else! But "what to replace it with" you may be asking, and I will tell you this - we don't take a break when we wake up, we start the day when we do that. But to start the day, it's important to have breakfast. So instead of breakfast, I shall petition it to be renamed to "startfast"! A much more sensical word than "break"fast!
Aahhh look at the time! I've been talking for too long, so the time has come for me to depart! Thanks to all who tuned-in to this epic blog entry, and as always, this is Mr. Hungry signing off!
Bonus content:
(is the turtle really losing when it's preserving energy for after the break?)
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