For once, I'd like to talk about something... very personal to me.

It's so timely that I was going to greet my rabbit today. I wanted to come home with a smile and greet him with a warm tap on the back... just to find out that hours before I went home, he died. He died just 2 hours ago at 4:00pm my time. (Philippines)

I rarely cry... as in, I sometimes feel like my heart is a rock. I do feel emotions, but to a limited extent. I only try to display one emotion for a very long period of time. Today, I think that rock just broke. My heart sunk when hearing this news. I loved my rabbit so dearly. He stayed with me since about probably 7 years. He was very smart, hygienic, jolly, and very energetic.

One time, I remember my dog went inside my house and tried to kill my rabbit. Being the smart boy he is, he played dead. I was just in shock to find out that he actually survived my dog's attack. Aside from this, he also sleeps on the couch at night. He actually goes on one of the throw pillows and sleeps... He also organizes his poo and urine apparently. He goes to one corner in the house and then does that there. I've never had any problems with him, except that he broke a vase, and marked my walls.

If only... if only I could go back in time. I really want to hold him once more, but when I came back home just now, I found out he was buried in my backyard 6 feet underground.

The good times and the bad times all rolled up into that one cute furry rabbit that I loved so dearly and nearly. I sometimes felt that he was the only person in the world who could understand me. At times, when I feel frustrated, I would talk to him (seriously) and then it would seem like he would understand me because he always seems to listen and just sit right next to me.

I would love to have him back one last time in my life... Just one more chance would do the trick. I tried to watch some episodes of MLP right after I heard the news... but no good. This event was just too devastating to me. To lose someone that you loved as much as anyone else in the world, you find out the other time that they just pass away and never to be seen again.

My parents say that in heaven, he'd be there. As coming from a religious family but not necessarily that religious myself, I don't even know if that would apply to pets even. I would love to see him again - yes, but I just don't know... I feel so confused right now. I also may seem quite stupid to cry over a dead pet to some people, but I care for him like I care for a family member. I love him so.

Now, my life feels more than empty... meaningless even. I just hate seeing things that I love so much to be lost in life. I know that is the cycle of how things work in this accursed reality, but I just can't get over it. I would really appreciate if you could help me somehow. I really would! I'd thank you so much a thousand folds just for helping me out to get out of the dumps. But if you don't want to, that's fine. I mean, I can do it myself anyway. I do it all the time... I usually always keep my emotions to myself. It's just that today is just... different.