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Winnie the Pooh Taken into Protective Custody Following Misidentification Mix-up


Evilshy

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Winnie the Pooh, famous for his part in his titular series, was taken into protective custody after mistaking Christopher Hanson for Christopher Robin.

 

"This little, innocent bear came up to me and started asking if I had his honey," Hanson told reporters. "He thought I was someone else. It was instantly clear to me that he was being taken advantage of."

 

Upon questioning, Winnie said he was looking for someone named "Christopher Robin." He had apparently been receiving honey and other goods from him in return for things such as playing "pooh sticks" and "make-believe". According to his story, Winnie had asked someone where he could find Christopher, apparently not knowing there were other Christopher in the area.

 

"I think that with the fact that he seemed to have a very child-like dependency on what this "Christopher Robin" gives him, combined with the fact he has been so isolated that he didn't know there were other people named Chris, it is very obvious what Christopher Robin has been doing to this poor bear."

 

Police were called to pick up Winnie and take him to Child Protective Services. They ran checks on him and found no record of his birth or any other information. CPS workers said that this is common in children raised as sexual slaves.

 

"Obviously the parent isn't going to keep any records if they're planning to sell the kid to some pedophile. That's just asking for trouble." said a high ranking CPS agent, who wished to remain anonymous.

 

Winnie has been given to a foster family and given police protection until Christopher Robin can be found and questioned. There are no leads so far, and the police urge anyone with information to come forward.

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