Ganaram here, and it's about 04:30 about where I live, and with the weekend about 67% over, I can safely say that I pretty much had the worst weekend ever.

Now of course, that is an absolute fallacy to say that I had the worst weekend ever, considering that the likelihood of someone else having an even worse weekend is almost certainly likely. Call it whatever you want; I'm gonna instead call it "not good".

Now why is it that it's this way? Let's begin a month ago.

No, let's not. Let's begin a week ago. I was effectively buried with a lot of secret projects that it all came crashing down on me.

I honestly can't remember what happened a week ago; Something happened that stopped me from all of my writing projects and drawings, and then I just ragequit. To everyone I sent a PM to, you probably have a more vivid memory of what happened to me.

It's probably the stress from college coupled with this stuff that threw my immune system out of commission.

So what made my weekend terrible? Mostly the fact that I was sick. I mean, really sick; Sicker than I ever was since freshman year of high school. Yeah, I take my immune system for granted, and when a serious infection like this happens, boom. You're pretty much knocked out. I don't think I've been to a hospital for even a checkup, except for the times I decided to tag along with my dad to pick up something from the pharmacy. Or vaccinations.

So why the damn have I decided to write a blog? Easy: To prove I'm still not dead. It's easy for me to "die" out of the forums; Out of all the art threads I've ever posted (which was only just three or four), the least amount of feedback was from one person, who has long since left for what I suspect are the same reasons that I ragequit.

You know, I think the fact that I'm now sick as damn made me care less about the feedback I've ever gotten.

There were a number of people I had to consult, whose names will be left anonymous. The general consensus out of most of the replies was this:

However, you should ask yourself the following question: do you have fun or are you passionate about what you're doing? If yes, keep on going!

 

If no, start to wonder why. Maybe it's not "your thing"? Also, lower your expectations a bit (if you can, at least).

Sounds like you're getting crushed by the weight of your own projects. You should really take their advice if its putting that much of a strain on you. Don't feel like you just have to get everything done right away.

"Take it easy", a very famous outro by renowned Minecraftian Direwolf20. Perhaps I really should do what he's been saying for about 300 episodes of Minecraft Let's Plays...

However there's one reply that I will absolutely piledrive back into them (which I will refuse to quote). Do you honestly expect me to just jump back into the forums when my body is literally NOT ready?!! That's a death sentence right there. No, just no. I don't care if you're not gonna accept that as an answer; That's all you're getting.

Can I talk about something else?

OK, here's something else: If I hear about a problem that my friends have, I throw mine in the back. Arylett, Jadefire, Maarten, you're not gonna make it easy on me if I'm ever around you to actually observe your emotions.

I can describe this phenomenon: My problems are not the centre of the universe, and there's always something more important than me. A billion rants on deviantART have reinforced this into me, but really, I'm just piledriving it back into them.

OK, that's enough. Let's get into cancer.

No, not the medical cancer, the other cancer: Western Astrology.

Is it possible for one's personality to change permanently? I have enough firsthand experience now to say that it can happen.

I'm supposed to be the one who should be the most sympathetic and emotional of all, but clearly that can't be if I can't...

If I can't...

If I can't let go of some things...

OK, that's no good either and my bladder's bugging me.

I don't where to go with this now; Perhaps I should leave it with this statement:

"It's never possible for me to leave the Forums, but if I'm too emotionally or physically damaged, I can be effectively halted." If I am in this state (which, for the record, I am), don't expect anything from me, unless you're a trusted friend, then look in your PM inbox.