1.) Get hot dog buns

2.) Spread mayonnaise on the wall to your left

3.) Attempt snake charming

4.) Summon a dog to clean your bathroom

5.) Yell the sacred, magical words, "JESUS CHRIST, I LEFT MY OCTOPUS TESTICLE IN THE CAR"

6.) Relocate to Alabama and become a wondering salesman

7.) Become world renown for all the stuff you carry

8.) Elevate to godhood

9.) Be the 2% that dies of SARS

10.) Never be forgotten

11.) Reincarnate into a war mongering alpaca and decimate the surrounding cities

12.) Never give up