I... just was thinking. It was just after... One thing led to the other. It started out inconspicuous. Just some rumor about a Majora's Mask remake for the 3DS. That led me to see this video about the freakiest scene in the Legend of Zelda series. The top 25. As it got to closer to the end, this thing in Majora's Mask. Skull Kid, the giants, the moon's interior. Got me thinking.

Got me thinking back to when I was kid, 11 or 12 years old. I never owned a copy of the game but a friend got it somehow. I had it for a few days but I never got far. Now I wonder how would I have taken it had I actually gone far in the game back then? I'd been a sheltered kid. But then I thought -- my thoughts turned to my mother. Always did I seem... unprepared for the real world. That means I'm spoiled, isn't it? And it's no coincidence, is it? That is, considering that my mom can be very -- almost childishly naive on certain matters. Had she been in my shoes all this time, would she had gotten scarred and wounded just like myself? I remember when I brought forward to her something that could be at the root of my occasional... spells of demotivation... was it helplessness I saw in her eyes, in her body language?

All of a sudden it feels like I am some kind of extension of her. Even though we don't agree on certain key things... Yet somehow it feels as though I sorta am her. That I am what she would have been had she been in my shoes.

As for my connections with my father, those seem more superficial. Traits that I more consciously took in such as my stringent attitude towards money and debt. But some traits that me and my mom share are much more subtle and fundamental. Is this all just genetics? No, genes are not that deterministic as their influence are themselves influenced by environmental input. It clicks well with what I said about what if she had been in my shoes the whole time. We pass on more than just our genes into the next generation. I know this for a fact. Maybe it's just something that's finally sinking in.

It's late. I'm going to bed. I'll probably lose sleep but whatever.