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Dark Qiviut

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  1. Dark Qiviut
    Happy 40th anniversary to quite possibly the wackiest game in MLB history!

    The Mets and Braves squared off at the old Fulton County Stadium on this day in 1985. This year, the upstart Mets competed with the Cardinals for the NL East. (Despite winning 98 games, the Cardinals won 101 and clinched the division. MLB didn't introduce Wild Cards until 1994.) Meanwhile, the Braves toiled near the bottom of the NL West.
    On this night, the Mets started Dwight Gooden, who won the 1984 NL Rookie of the Year and was in the thick of an historic 1985 Cy Young campaign, and kept him the starter following a 90-minute rain delay. However, Gooden had an uncharacteristically erratic night, and was yanked from the game in the third when the game was delayed a second time.
    So, what else happened?
    Keith Hernandez, the Mets' first baseman, hit for the cycle in this game, completing it in the 12th.
      The Braves came back from a two-run deficit in the bottom of the 8th to take an 8-7 lead, only for the Mets to tie it in the top of the ninth.
      Mets' manager Davey Johnson and outfielder Darryl Strawberry were both sent to the showers in the 10th for arguing balls and strikes.
      After NYM took a two-run lead in the top of the 13th, ATL tied it up in the bottom frame.
      The Mets re-took the lead in the 18th, forcing the Braves to tie or win again. After two outs, the Braves — not having any more bench players to pinch-hit — brought in reliever Rick Camp to bat for himself. A career .060 hitter, he wasn't a very good hitter, to say the least.

    And, well…this happened. John Sterling, take it away!
     
    It was Rick Camp's first — and only — home run in his big-league career.
      The following frame, the Mets scored five off Camp to lead 16-11. But Ron Darling (brought in to relief) gave up two more to make it 16-13. Then with two on and two out, Camp came up as the winning run…only to strike out.

    FINALLY, the game was over!
      The game was supposed to start at 7:30. It ended at 3:55am on July 5, the latest a game ended in MLB history at the time. (It would be eclipsed eight years later, when the Phillies won Game 2 of a doubleheader at 4:40am.)

    Did the wackiness end once the game ended? Nope.
      It was also Fireworks Night at the ballpark. At 4:01am, the Braves' grounds' crew installed and launched fireworks, surprising nearby residents so much that they called the cops. Happy Anniversary!
  2. Dark Qiviut
    If I'm allowed to put a swearword in a title, I would, because it needs it.
     
    After re-reading and rewatching angry reviews of Breadwinners, I had the itch to bitch about it again because once isn't enough. I'd stop, but I might've lost a few years of my life, so whatever.
     
    Nickelodeon's Breadwinners really pisses me off! If you think modern Spongebob and Sanjay & Craig are at the bottom of the barrel, you ain't seen nothin' yet. Because Breadwinners is much, MUCH worse!
     
    How bad?
    The animation and character designs are goddamn terrible.
     
    Firstly, the voices don't match the lip-synching sometimes. The movements themselves are very stiff. A bunch of the scenes (hell, almost all of them) rely on stock images slapped and lazily animated, making the scenes look very awkward.
     
    Secondly, these "characters," SwaySway and Behdeuce:
     

     
    In case you're wondering, yeah, they're supposed to be ducks. Instead, they're geometric blobs. Flash is a tool to create great animation. Like Friendship Is Magic, Johnny Test, and Littlest Pet Shop, Breadwinners uses Flash, too, but doesn't put in the effort to design characters that look like ducks or smoothly animate their puppets!
     
    When Johnny Test, a widely panned cartoon, understands the tools of Flash animation better than Breadwinners, you're doing something wrong!
    The "humor" is stupid. Every "kid" joke relies on flatulence or a reference to a butt. The toilet humor is abundant, out of place, and lazy. They pretty much can't think of any joke beyond this or a disturbing "Getting Crap Past the Radar" moment. (We'll get to that later!)
     
    Speaking of cheap "humor," these "ducks" have a tendency to twerk. Yeah, a show with a content rating of TV-Y7 contains a sexually provocative dance. And it's not rare, either.
    The two main "characters"? Who are they? The two ducks who are supposed to be two, yet have almost the same personality? They aren't characters. They're obnoxious, disrespectful, stupid caricatures who will annoy the hell out of anyone who wishes to watch the "cartoon" with their brains turned on.
    The plots are shallow at best and creepy at worst. There's a lot of filler to slow the pace. It ignores its own continuity. Some of the concepts and resolutions create unfortunate implicationd. It relies on disturbing "humor" and stupidity to bypass any resemblance of logic or sense. Hell, they break the rules of their own show sometimes to pander to kids.
     
    To make it worse, many of the episodes rip off other Nickelodeon cartoons. And not just the good ones, either. Even objectively horrible episodes from modern Nick episodes (including ones from modern Spongebob) are ripped off into Breadwinners.
     
    The "creepy" part? Some episodes rely on stereotypes for a cheap laugh: Thug Loaf, for example, uses racist stereotypes as a joke. Another episode tortures a main character for simple laughs.
     
    And then there's one that was loudly bashed online: Love Loaf.
     
    If you want to read the synopsis, click the "spoiler."
     
      
    The saddest part? This show was rated #1 for kids ages 2-11 for a few weeks…and it's being renewed for a second season.
  3. Dark Qiviut
    Author's Note: Credit goes to critiques from Tommy_Oliver, Silver-Quill, and VoiceOfReason for this critique of Flash Sentry.
    One of the biggest elephants in not only Equestria Girls, but FIM altogether. Both movies have a host of problems, and one of them is Flash Sentry. If there's one point where you can narrow down the laziness of the entire alternate world, it's him. Poor writing, lazy direction, character derailment, playing clichés to the letter. Flash Sentry is a lot like the characters of G3: flat, stereotypical, boring, pointless, and receives undeserved praise. On top of that, he's also a Gary Stu.
    But that's just slicing through the surface of Flash Sentry's issues as a character. To really get to the roots of the problems, we need to be really analytical with his character. What are the problems? What causes these problems? Any implications his overall concept represents?
    Crush on Twilight.
    Pedestria's* overarching plot is the ongoing crush Flash and Princess Twilight have on each other. Twilight and Flash Sentry keep bumping into each other, setting off the crush. Each time they do, Twilight's crush "deepens," so to speak.
    One very huge issue about the romance angle is how there's no chemistry between them. Twilight Sparkle is a very established character with several strengths and flaws that make her so endearing. During the middle of the first movie, her adorkable side came into play when she got so fascinated over the school library and later read the history book of Canterlot High that night. She may not freak out anymore, but that doesn't mean she doesn't become any less antsy, like her loss of patience over Rainbow Dash's inability to learn through the traditional methods and subsequent insults until Fluttershy called both her and Dash out. She has a passion to learn and is very logical in her approach.
    In Equestria Girls and Rainbow Rocks, Twilight only grows a crush on him because of his looks. Nothing about his personality. Nothing to create common ground. They establish nothing between them. Flash's lack of dimension doesn't mesh with Twilight's studiousness.
    Whenever the characters meet, they almost always bump into each other. It didn't just happen once nor was it organically varied. They bump into each other again and again and again. DHX, you're not creating anything unique or original when you have two prominent characters in EQG/RR meet up so predictably. The first time — in The Crystal Empire — was okay because they never met. The second time was pushing it to the point of predictable. But when she bumps him the third time, it was no longer interesting. It was predictable. There's a reason why Twilight spilling her drink on him isn't funny. By Rainbow Rocks, this cliché was beyond tiring. It was obnoxious. Any hopes for a developed relationship died before he bumped into the wall in the Rainbooms' studio because DHX doesn't know how to create FlashLight conversation without making the audience cringe.
    Twilight's reasons for her crush is out of character. Think of the implications surrounding teenaged hormones: the idea that teens attach to other people simply for how hot they look. She only likes him because he's hot, nothing else. This is a stereotype of how teenaged girls view their teenaged boy crushes. Even worse is how this universe never subverts this stereotype. Instead, they play it straight. With Twilight as the main character in both films (and an established, three-dimensional being to boot), she becomes very shallow. The crush angle is insulting to her character.
    But that's not completely correct; the crush angle is even more insulting to Flash. His a crush on an interdimensional being, one whose true form isn't even human, is his lone source of conflict. But this conflict is bypassed in the first film and only referenced in passing in the beginning of Rainbow Rocks, basically nullifying the plot point. Unlike Twilight, Flash Sentry made his debut much sooner, in EQG1. You could've had the whole movie play off subversions of the hot hunk cliché by giving Flash more originality in his character and time for Twilight to have a very tiny crush on him that could eventually build over time. But both movies hammer in their relationship when they offer nothing to make the audience legitimately believe they like each other.
    The biggest irony about this angle is how Flash's crush on Twilight actually feels more genuine than Twilight's crush on Flash.
    Think of the romance between Princess Cadance and Shining Armor. A Canterlot Wedding hammers in how much both loved each other, wanted to get married, and were basically made for each other. One major problem: The source of chemistry is exposition only. They have very little in common to create any organic perspective of both characters actually loving each other beyond that one asspull in the climax. When Chrysalis's brain was replaced with the Idiot Box in order for them to perform their counterspell, their credibility is more damaged. Show, don't tell.
    Past relationship with Sunset.
    One element from Equestria Girls that had literally no impact was the dumbest dialogue exchange in the first film:
    What made this scene so stupid was twofold:
    It was totally pointless. It had ZERO impact in the context of both this scene and whole film. It wasn't referenced again until Rainbow Rocks when Sunset admitted to using him for fame. Cut out this little piece of information, and nothing changes. Hell, it would've been a lot better if Flash and Twilight introduced each other after he helped her up. Instead of subverting the vile high-school-drama clichés, Flash Sentry fulfills one of the most obnoxious simply for that explanation. How? Because the evil alpha bitch (Sunset) has an ex-boyfriend (Flash) interested in the protagonist (Twilight). Sunset's character had no impact with her relationship with Flash. Because it was dropped as soon as it started, him being her ex-boyfriend never affected his friendship with Twilight, either. Instead of dropping it out of nowhere in the middle of the film and later pretend it never happened, why not do something to make their triangle feel interesting? Why not have Flash express his friendship with Twilight and Sunset, but not romance? Make him more focused on his studies and ability to excel in one of his fields (music) before he decides to get involved in romance again.
    That doesn't change anything. Again, the SunLight background romance had no impact in either film. It was there simply to fill in the formula mentioned above. The fact that he broke up with her is very similar to his car: It's not a personality nor is it a hint of his personality. You could've had her break up with him; it wouldn't impact either characterizations whatsoever.
    You see, when you play such a cliché down Broadway, even in passing, then you're weakening the characters even more. Having both movies mention SunLight in passing weakened Sunset's credibility as a villain and Flash's as a secondary protagonist (this I'll get back to later).
    But it's here where Flash Sentry's credibility gets permanently damaged. Even before the cafeteria scene, Flash was already a one-note character. Rarity's line to Twilight reduced him beyond that.
    He became a stereotype.
    Before anyone comes here to lie about stereotypes aren't inherently a bad thing, take a look at its most important definition:
    Stereotypes aren't three-dimensional characters. A stereotype is a very clichéd formula of a character. Instead of being genuine, the character becomes flatter than cardboard. They're predictable in the way they react, say, and do. Stereotypes aren't just typical formulas. They're insulting because they create a representation of certain characters as a whole. Stereotypes are caricatures of certain archetypes.
    The fact that Flash Sentry was Sunset's ex-boyfriend relegated him to less of a character. His potential as a character jumped the shark.
    There's no such thing as a good stereotype, period. For a generation that all but brags about how it can avoid stereotypes, having him play so straight to it is beyond shameful.
    No conflict.
    Outside of his interdimensional crush on Twilight, human!Flash has absolutely no conflicts. Let's break it down.
    Flash Sentry is really good at playing the guitar and is passionate about it. We saw this during the cafeteria song when he worked on it with the rest of his band with plenty of fervor. Financially, he's stable. Take a look at his car model:

     
    That car looks eerily similar to this 2010 Chevy Camaro:
     

     
    (Image credit.)
     
    Since Chevrolet revived the Camaro in the late 2000s, they aren't cheap. They can range from $25,000 for the coupe to over $40,000 for the convertible. Plus, Flash's fancy coupe has some intricate decals, which can cost plenty of money. So it's not like Flash makes end's meet. He's got a very stereotypical "bad boy" look. Think about it: jeans that reach the ankles, a shirt that's partially worn out, a black jacket, spiky hair, and plays the guitar. His attire fits the "rebel." How generically nice he is to Twilight. When he talks to or about Twilight post-interrogation scene, he stutters, becomes clumsy, and is just a plain goof.
     
    In case you're wondering, him being clumsy is not an organic flaw, because it doesn't affect his character nor any "conflicts" he comes across. Currently, his clumsiness is pure humor. The answer is very simple.
    Take a look at not just what the background ponies are doing, but also how their popularity started.
    For a few examples, Derpy, Lyra, and Colgate.
    You notice any similarities of the popular background ponies?
    Each of them stood out and did something.
    Derpy's eyes were wall-eyed.
    Colgate was dressed as a dentist (yes, dentists do use stethoscopes if their patients are older and/or have a medical history).
    Lyra sat on a park bench like a human.
    Vinyl Scratch had wild hair, wore big glasses, and bobbed to the tune as the record played.
    Dr. Whooves looked like The Doctor from Dr. Who and later contained many Dr. Who references like the tie, hourglass in SSCS6K, and 3D glasses as he jogged with Rose Luck.
    Octavia played a classical instrument.
    The list goes on and on. When characters in the background do something, it catches the attention of the fanbase. The community in Equestria feels very alive when background characters are active. They offer insight to their character; sometimes they're a part of the conflict, even for a split second. Headcanon is developed to flesh them out. For example, it's no surprise that many bronies love OctaVinyl; the tropes are there. Vinyl scratch's style of music playing is more modern. Visually, she's boisterous, loves to have fun, and just doesn't give a crap what you think. On the other hand, Octavia is very classical and formal due to her hair style and the playing of an instrument that dates back several centuries. They're perfect visual foils.
    Remember, they're called background ponies for a reason. They're there to fill the background.
    Conversely, Flash Sentry is a secondary character. Both movies billed him to be just as important as the ReMane Five. In other words, his character and actions become influential to the entire plot.
    Instead, what do we have? A one-dimensional piece of cardboard. For bronies who like and dislike him, they have no choice but to flesh out his character in fanart, fancomics, and fanfiction.
    The very same thing. Princess Cadance revealed Flash Sentry to be a new hire for the Royal Guard, but he was the one to announce Princess Twilight Sparkle's arrival. Later, he becomes a royal escort for Cadance (and presumably other ambassadors, if going by T'sK1).
    Rather than being shown hard work to join the rankings, Flash Sentry becomes one of the top guards simply because whoever's working behind the scenes wants Flash shoved in the spotlight. Consequently, Flash's character progression dissipates: Why confine all of his progression in the background when he was a secondary character and stated to be a recent hire? Don't leave it up for the fans to decide. Place in some effort to reward him for his efforts.
    Because his source of conflict is naught, bronies had to create some for him. One was through a look-alike featured in both Pinkie Pride and Twilight Time, unofficially named First Base.
     

     
    (Link to fanart.)
    In fanon circles, many bronies saw this as an opportunity to take a "character" into someone you can relate to. A big brother having a great relationship with a little brother. This isn't the first time, as these fanon relationships have been around for some time, most notably Dinky being Derpy's daughter (my favorite brony fanon), Snowflake being Featherweight's big bro, and Screwball (a.k.a., Topsy-Turvy) being Discord's adopted daughter. Despite being somewhat repetitive, this fanon doesn't get old because it's something each of us can relate to; many of us have very close relatives. The sibling bond is one great way for the characters to connect. For Flash and First Base, immediately it generates some form of conflict, and you can expand Flash Sentry in many ways:
    Does he miss his family? What does he feel about family in general? Where did he live? Where did he come from? How long did it take for him to climb up the ranks? If you mold the FB/FS fanon, what was their relationship? Do they write any letters to each other? Can you see the ample opportunities to evolve Flash into a living and breathing character? It's there, and Flash definitely has the background. Unfortunately, DHX evolved him to a point where they basically couldn't care less about him. With no visible goals in sight, Flash becomes a blank prophecy.
    Yes and no. I've made this point quite often in other blogs and posts, so for those who haven't read them, it's like this. Even though the characters have perpendicular counterparts, they each still represent that character. What do I mean? Even though the HuMane Five are different from the ReMane in Equestria, the HuMane Five should have some common sense, dignity, intelligence, ability to talk organically, and maturity. The HuMane Five's characterizations should match the ReMane Five — if any differences, keeping them subtle. Instead, the HuMane Five (Pinkie Pie exempt in EQG1) are flanderized versions of the ReMane Five. They're a lot shallower with a primary focus on one trait, and the vocabulary is simplified to the point where characters like Dash utter "awesome" several times.
    Flash Sentry, too. Albeit seeing little of him as a pony, the first movie suggests that their personalities are one of the same, too. If you saw Flash Sentry as a human personality-wise, you know his personality as a pony and vice-versa. If pony!Flash is completely different from human!Flash, then pony!Flash is out of character.
    Filler.
    I bet you've heard one criticism of some of FIM's episodes: "*character* is pointless. He or she can be cut out entirely, and nothing would've been lost." This was used a lot during several season four episodes like Rainbow Falls, Filli Vanilli, Equestria Games (although the criticism is for the deceptive setting instead); and several main IDW comics.
    Neither movie is exempt, especially Flash Sentry. Once more, his whole identity is Twilight's love interest. There's literally nothing about him that directly affects the conflict in any way aside from being a distraction. If you take away that drawn-out subplot, what differences would you get with either movie? Nothing. You can cut him entirely and not alter the story one bit. It could've been someone else who helps her get up. Twilight would buy the drink and sit by the lounge without the HuMane Six gossiping bull rubbish about Flash's past relationship with Sunset. Someone other than Flash would've retrieved the cutouts so Luna can end the interrogation. You could've erased him from Rainbow Rocks.
    Flash Sentry is the character version of Spongebob, You're Fired! There's a gigantic lack of quality simply by how pointless he is.
    "Someone other than Flash would've retrieved the cutouts so Luna can end the interrogation." (Then again, the whole scene was so stupid, it wouldn't alter the quality.) He's there for one reason only: to attempt to make the romance subplot convincing. As if there are other ways for Twilight and Flash to hook up. But when the results are the two babbling and blushing, the "chemistry" turns into a virtual checklist.
    Filler tests your audience's patience. Flash is filler.
    Gender politics.
    Silver-Quill made that point really clear in After the Fact: Flash Sentry (a great analysis and a basis in this critique; go watch it if you haven't). Other people were very critical of this, too.
    One gigantic issue with Friendship Is Magic is how it enforces a very sexist implication of how any form of entertainment with a specific gender or attitude brand in mind either can't have the opposite sex in a dominant yet positive role or can't have the opposite sex involved at all. We see this all the time in entertainment. Anime and manga have whole genres dedicated to presenting their products with a cast with one prominent gender, usually with the idea of pandering to one gender. MLP Tales, G3, and G3 also shove this sexist mindset in the audience's face.
    If you review this series yourselves, observe the roles of the male sex. For instance:
    Snips and Snails are stereotypical idiots in a character design. They're annoying, unlikeable, and one-dimensional. Boast Busters would've sucked much less if they didn't exist. The Diamond Dogs are the cliché villain of having plenty of brawn yet little brains. By writing them as stupid, it gives Rarity the edge to outwit them. This type of writing is very contrived because you're giving the protagonist the easy way out of the conflict. The moral itself is fantastic, but it's hurt by the lazy writing. Discord is extremely likeable even as a villain. Yes, he's evil, but a clever brand of evil. A villain with morals, he doesn't pull back punches while simultaneously not attempting to land them. His lone goal was to conquer Equestria while having fun. (I'm seriously thinking of a Return of Harmony analysis of his morals. Knowing how long I write them, it might be really long. ) When he became more chaotic neutral instead of evil, the writers had him play several hilarious mind games with the Mane Six. Spike is the longest running male character in the series. Unfortunately, FIM often puts him as the punching bag for humor, and most of it for no good reason. When he's written really well, he's normally the supportive character. But when he stars the episode, it's often terrible, like Dragon Quest, Equestria Games, and Just for Sidekicks. The dragon clan in Dragon Quest suffers from being so sexist, it's not funny. They're stereotypical bully characters, all of whom male. They do stupid things, steal, mock Spike for his size and femininity, and disregard life. DQ is one unfortunate implication of how it implies every single dragon other than Spike behaves like the stereotypes. Trenderhoof… *sighs crossly* Everything about him is so unlikeable. His personality is obnoxious. He's incredibly rude. He relies on trends just to fit in. How the bloody hell did Rarity ever get the crush on him?
     
    So what about her fantasy with Blueblood? Is that okay, as well? No. But there's a big difference between Twilight's on Flash and Rarity's on Blueblood.
     
    In The Ticket Master, Rarity presented a very stupid fantasy of wanting to be married to her prince charming. Here, her reasoning was blatantly recognized as being stupid. Why? Because every reason from the ReMane Five made just as little sense as hers. There was irony to her logic, and TTM played it as a joke tut-tutting the characters (who didn't know it) and the audience. Even though what Rarity did was in character at the time, it was stupid.
     
    In Equestria Girls, Twilight's shallow crush was considered pivotal to the story even though it was filler. Simultaneously, her lack of logic wasn't critique. It was praised. There are very few likeable males in this show. Discord is one, and so is Spike regardless of his characterization consistency. Cheese Sandwich is possibly the most likeable male character in the show for some fantastic reasons, one of them being how thorough and convincing his dedication to others' happiness is. He wants to deliver not just a great party, but an epic party. Big Mac is the most consistent stallion and is full of dimension despite his "eeyups" and "eenopes." (The two-part comic starring him is one hilarious way of delivering his character without having him say much.) However, his trademark remark is also a common punchline. More of him saying more words without confining him to singing, please!
    Flash Sentry has a strong sense of integrity. When there's something he believes is wrong, he's not afraid to get involved. Unfortunately, this positive trait is shared among the rest of the protagonists, so he needs another unique attribute to differentiate him from the rest of the cast. Otherwise, he remains relegated to being Walking Cardboard instead.
    What's really unfortunate for this show is how whenever a three-dimensional male is shown to be a positive role model, he's typically a one-shot. Cheese Sandwich, Fancy Pants, and Cranky Doodle Donkey are such examples.
    The gender politics are prevalent in EQG, Flash Sentry in particular. To quote from earlier:
    As mentioned previously, stereotypes are bad enough for they create one-dimensional caricatures. But that's not all. Presenting stereotypes and treating them as a good thing are damaging to society, especially kids. How? By delivering false perceptions of archetypes at best and lies at worst. It gets especially bad when stereotypes are used to spread morals; you risk creating a straw man, exemplified by Praiser Pan being a stereotype of critics in the Fluttershy Micro.
    Do you think that Flash Sentry, as he currently is, benefits kids by being a sexist stereotype and having Equestria Girls embrace it?
    I don't think so.
    Character design.
    (Credit goes to Silver-Quill for this segment.)
    If there's one final nail to confirm Walking Cardboard's status as forced love interest, it's the use of the color wheel.
    Here's what I mean:

    (Image credit.)
    When you see one color on the color wheel, its complementary is located on its opposite curve. There are three most-known complementary pairs: red & green, orange & blue, yellow & purple/violet. When these complements are near each other, the eyes play games. In design, a complementary color located in the background can make the foreground jump out, like a very subtle sky blue background behind a firm orange foreground. On the other hand, if the complements touch each other and are equal saturation, then they battle for visual attention, which can hurt your eyes. There's a reason why you often won't see red and green side by side in one design.
    Twilight Sparkle is a lavender alicorn — her natural complementary is yellow. Flash Sentry's fur or skin is predominantly yellow. Visually and psychologically, Flash is connected to Twilight. In essence, Flash's whole character is tied down to their crush.
    Now, I'm going to lay off the critiquing for a minute and analyze some color choices. The ponies in Equestria are visually versatile. Each of them has specific fur and mane/tail colors to give each of them an identity. When they're an animal, the color choices make connotative sense. As such, they don't stand out or create implications. Conversely, when translated to human form, they look uncanny at best. As a pegasus, Fluttershy's yellow fur feels normal, but when translated to human skin, it makes her look rather unhealthy.
    At worst, the colors are offensive. Big Mac's red fur feels very natural. But if Big Mac has red skin, then the public is reminded of something like these:
    Natives/Indians are some of the most oppressed people worldwide, and making Big Mac's skin red would perpetuate stereotypes so racist, FIM would've been canceled.
    Why is Cheerilee's skin a lighter purple instead of the deep purple? Very same reason. Cheerilee's fur color would trigger stereotypes of Natives on one end and — because she's voiced by a white woman — blacks on the other through subtle blackface.
    What does this have to do with Flash Sentry?
    Plenty.
    Pony!Flash's fur color has the hexidecimal value of FCC862 and CMYK value of 0/21/61/1. In other words, his fur color is a very bright yellow, almost a gold.
    Human!Flash's (Brad's) skin color has the hexidecimal value of F9E64A and CMYK value of 0/8/34/2. In contrast to his fur color, his skin tones are a very pale, dull tan. When comparing it to natural skin, it's near-accurate.
    Why is this so significant?
    Look at human!Flash's face, specifically his eyes:

    It has a very Asian appeal.
    Based on his looks, if you change his skin to that gold saturation from his fur, you'll trigger yellowface/yellow peril, an extremely racist Asian stereotype. If Friendship Is Magic had a character with yellowface, chances are you'll get a reaction worse than this from How I Met Your Mother.
    Flash Sentry has been a very problematic character from the start. Even if you ignore his characterization, his concept is based off being Twilight's love interest. Him being Twilight's visual complement, the clichés spewed in both films, and their poorly executed romance trigger the elongated subplot even when they're not conversing with one another. The crush damages Twilight's character because her reasons devolve to his looks. But it damages Flash's character moreso by having the narrative cling so hopelessly onto it with no end in sight. With his lone goal being her shortchanged love interest, Flash is beyond simply a Gary Stu. He's a one-dimensional plot device and stereotype. The stereotype label is what makes him offensive to the show. His character jumped the shark once Rarity revealed he was Sunset's former boyfriend, if not the minute he debuted.
    But to make it worse (from Part 2 of my RR review):
    By how little DHX cares for him, Flash's character has become almost irredeemable, and that's a damn shame.
    But it's not too late. There's still a little hope left to make him a three-dimensional character, but it'll require a lot of work. Sure, retconning's the easy solution, but both pony and human Flash have established characterizations. If you retcon them, then you're creating a completely different character, not Flash Sentry. Consequentially, a retconned Flash Sentry will be just as bad as the current Flash Sentry. The best solution is to revise his current character. Loosen him up so you retain his character foundation, yet don't lose who he is.
    What suggestions?
    Ditch the crush subplot. It offered nothing to the show and only holds Flash's potential back. Remember, it's Friendship Is Magic, not Clichéd Romance Is Magic. Obviously, DHX won't try to develop their relationship romantically. In conclusion, having Flash Sentry no longer crush on Twilight would give him a fresh start.
     
    Seriously, if a quick concept of Flash being a fanonical brother to First Base gives him much more dimension to his character than Flash in two 70-minute movies, then you're doing something really wrong. If Princess Twilight Sparkle returns for the Friendship Games, then the movie should give both of them some common ground. Rather than hammer in the obnoxious bumping, why not have Twilight and Flash meet in some other way, like a classroom, school cafe, or even Pedestria's version of Sugarcube Corner. Twilight's a geek. Flash Sentry is a mild geek himself. What interests do they have in common? Do they like some science? Complex theories, for example? Perhaps Flash Sentry needs to buy a better guitar because his old one is damaged beyond recovery, and his friends — both Twilights, the HuMane Five, or even Sunset Shimmer — help him locate an affordable guitar that can play just as well as the old one. What about his ethnic background? Don't throw it in there for keeps. Expand his background. Have him explore the rest of Pedestria. Maybe his family, other friends. For fanon-loving bronies, this is where you can use First Base and expand their fanonical relationship.
     
    What about his relationship with the rest of the characters? Flash Sentry and Sunset Shimmer haven't talked to each other much on screen since her character reset and redemption. Have them make permanent amends by having them talk amicably as friends. Have them get to know each other more and establish common ground. As for pony Flash, what is his relationship with the rest of the Royal Guard? How does he feel about them? How does he view the world in peace, peril, or in between? What has he done to gain in the royal ranks? For Celestia's sake, how did he get hired?
     
    How is he like when he's not so busy? Apparently, the guards protect Canterlot and all of royalty 24/7, but they're bound to take a day off or two to recuperate or merely enjoy life. Like what Jeric once suggested by letting Twilight "run her hair down" and have a great time being the the adorkable, friend-seeking geek that many of us got so invested in. As an equal, make him enjoy life. Maybe Flash is very innocent and childlike when he isn't so focused on being a royal guard.
     
    You can take these immature tendencies for human Flash, too. Think about it; he's a teenager, so he's going to be somewhat immature. Both versions can have their immaturity be a strength in their character for having the gift to defend and take things seriously in his schoolwork or job, but have it become a very distinct flaw. For human!Flash, his immaturity could affect his status in school and back home: rushing in his instrument work, homework, grades; being a little impatient with life back home; and wanting to feel a little freer.
     
    Pony!Flash could have this immaturity bite him on the plot, too. Perhaps he suspects a call of distress, and he rushes in to help before Shining Armor or Celestia create a plan and give him permission. It could turn out that the call for distress is either something so trivial, it'd make him feel or silly or something so serious, he's the one who must cry for help. Over a year ago, I conceptualized a fanfic adaptation of FIM by merging events from both Thomas & Friends and its adaptation basis, The Railway Series. Entitled The Equestrian Series, you can read the latest blog submission (Book 1 from over a year ago) here, which contains links to Book 0 and the overarching concept.
    My recent idea of adding Flash Sentry would be something similar to one of the later Railway Series books, Mountain Engines. Its leading character, Lord Harry, doesn't get introduced until the third chapter, Danger Points. Lord Harry was very arrogant — in Thomas fandom terms, too puffed up in the smokebox — and takes risks unnecessarily. One time, he decides to pay Culdee back for teasing him. Unfortunately, while pulling a passenger train, he derails at the summit, and this part of the Island of Sodor is very dangerous. When he was rescued, he was sent to the shed in disgrace and stripped of his name as punishment. In Devil's Back, he was released, but only allowed to shunt workmen up and down the summit at Devil's Back, a very difficult part of the Culdee Fell Railway. One day, there was an emergency, and #6 was sent up to rescue the workmen. Battling treacherous weather, he rescued the people. He was eventually named Patrick in honor of an injured workman who risked his life to save everyone else. Afterwards, he only took risks if necessary.
    In my idea, Flash Sentry would be a newbie training for the royal guard. He was modest, yet sensitive and immature. He'd let other pony's teasing get to him, resulting in him working too hard and being too reckless in his duties. As a consequence, he was scolded by his peers and sent to his quarters as punishment. Next day, he is allowed to return to train, but ignore their teasing and work with a mentor. That evening, it was windy, and other training pegasi teased him for his punishment, resulting in him saying he's brave. One of them dared him to take a load of cargo down the Canterlot mountains into the quayside about 500 feet below and about a dozen miles away.
    He would go, but forgot to light the headlamp and taillamp, so he couldn't see. He would stop at a siding and find some way to light up the lamps, but the wind kept blowing out the fire, and the wind was only getting worse. But he would stay until he could light up the lamps and keep them lit. Unfortunately, he couldn't, so he locked up the trolleys and flew around to find any shelter. He locates a signalbox, knocks inside, and asks the signalpony to help him light up the lamps. He gives him some oil to light them up and contains them so the wind didn't blow on them. Even with the nasty wind, Flash keeps on trucking and later arrives at the quay without any further trouble.
    Next morning, he returned to Canterlot to receive a warm welcoming for being able to find his way to unload the cargo without being so reckless and minding his safety. His fellow cadets apologize for daring Flash into getting involved, and each of them are demoted and forced to undergo more intensive training as punishment. Flash is invited to have a formal dinner with Shining Armor and Princess Cadance, but Flash declines, saying he must earn his way through the ranks first.
    If you other criticisms of his character and suggestions for improving his character, please feel free to comment below.
    *One brony on Equestria Daily coined the human world "Pedestria," and I'm going to use it quite a bit now.
     
  4. Dark Qiviut
    Have you ever seen a half-assed excuse used so much, it drives you crazy? Way too many drive me nuts, and one of them is "it's for kids" — specifically "it's for little girls" in and out of the fandom — as an excuse for shortcomings. As far as FIM (and this message board) is concerned, when making an in-depth analysis or review of something, the most common response I get and see is the "FIM is for kids/little girls" excuse. Friendship Is Magic's show and IDW comics are for all ages, enjoyable by anyone. But even if it was simply "for kids," it doesn't change the fact how that STUPID argument should forever be quelled.
    Why should it never be used again? A few reasons:
    It goes against the foundation of Friendship Is Magic. Back when Lauren Faust helped lead the show, she wanted to create a feminine-looking television product with brand new archetypical standards. Instead of school, the mane ponies are adults, some of them with full-time jobs. (The first part of the pilot — Twilight being transported to Ponyville from Canterlot — is a response to this cliché.) Rather than focusing on crushes all the time, every single mane character is independent and free-willing with more important things to do. Faust tells its audience there are many ways to be a girl in media besides the stereotypes. For the most part (outside of A Canterlot Wedding, Twilicorn, and EQG), it succeeds in subverting those archetypes and create new, feminist rules of intelligent, hardworking, independent females in media.
     
    By using the "it's for little girls" excuse, you're spitting on those foundations. You're telling everyone these foundations have no merit; they're pointless. It talks down to Faust and any single person who actually comprehends the standards they — DHX and Faust — instilled on the product as well as the standards they (the people behind the scenes) are responsible for helping build and raise. It's very ageist. By throwing around the "it's for kids" excuse, you're saying kids are inherently stupid and will eat up any shit they see. This mindset is dangerous, because kids are like magnets. They observe their surroundings and respond accordingly, sometimes acting like their idols. Yes, including fictional characters. Quality family-friendly television is important because you want high-quality protagonists to be well-written and suitable for kids to love and idolize. Three-dimensional characters who stay in character, mature along the way, and properly learn their morals through the right context are vital in family-friendly entertainment. If adding to that, intelligent conflicts, intelligent humor with multi-layered referencing to appeal to a wide audience, intelligent graphic design, great music scoring, and so on. Writing that respects multi-demographical audiences regardless of age, sex, or culture. The excuse patronizes kids. By patronizing kids, you're embracing mediocrity. Even if you claim you don't, dishing out the "it's for kids" excuse shows otherwise. Do you know the basis of why this fandom grew and sustained it? Because the quality of the storytelling reaches out to people young and old. Objectively good writing doesn't segregate demographics. The embrace of mediocrity does. Whenever you use "it's just a kids'/little girls' show/*whoever audience*," then you're passively calling Friendship Is Magic — and every single product with an audience in mind — inherently weak. Any product worth our time and money respects demographics across the board. Including periphery demographics! Products that do use this excuse are often to be complete garbage.
     
    You want examples of the latter? Fine.
     
    a. My Little Pony: Equestria Girls. You already know how much how I hate this overrated, idiotic, antifeminist piece of shit (along with its sexist toyline), so I'll move on.
     
    (But some don't know this, and I'm not joking, either. I actually respect Tales, G3, and G3.5 more than Equestria Girls. While they're all garbage, EQG tries and fails to mask its bold-faced lie that it's FIM-related [when it genuinely isn't]; but the other three actually show it's MLP, minus the audiences they're pandering to.)
     
    b. My Little Pony Tales, G3, G3.5. Just like Equestria Girls, obnoxious toyetic pandering to little girls at its worst. Tales also deserves the scorn for making the characters unlikeable, stupid, and overly cynical for the sake of "realism."
     
    c. Modern Spongebob. Watch A Pal for Gary, One Coarse Meal, Are You Happy Now?, The Splinter, Pet Sitter Pat, any modern episode that tortures Squidward, and so on. The writers for Spongebob today don't know nor care what made classic Spongebob successful, and Nickelodeon itself doesn't care.
     
    d. Nickelodeon's Breadwinners. There are reviews (both video and otherwise) bashing the show apart on sites like YouTube or TV.com. Or at the very least, you can read my rant. How the FUCK did this insulting piece of trash become the #1 cartoon on Nickelodeon for a bit? I don't get how anyone can enjoy it unless they want kids to enjoy quality equivalent to JERSEY SHORE! (And, yes, I compared that "reality" monstrosity to a Nick cartoon "for kids." I won't take it back.)
     
    e. Series 8-16 of Thomas & Friends. The stories are far too generic. Several of the newer characters show up once and never again (something that's been rectified with the CGI era). A bunch of trains and other vehicles to pander to young kids and third-party companies that produce their toys. Massive flanderization and derailment of the characters with complete disregard for the Laws of the Railway. Fortunately, the new team from Series 17, KotR, and 18 are apparently pushing the series in the right direction; and I suggest you watch them.
     
    f. Approximately every single anime 4Kids dubbed and mangled. One Piece, I'm looking at you!
     
    g. Many of the Disney animated movies in the late-1990s through mid-2000s like Chicken Little, Pocahontas II, Belle's Magical World, Home on the Range, Hunchback of Notre Dame II, and Cinderella II.
     
    h. Star Wars's prequels, especially The Phantom Menace and Battle of the Clones. Jar Jar Binks, a character with the purpose of pandering to children, was slammed for this along with being a racial stereotype. (There's a reason why he's basically nonexistent nowadays.)
     
    i. As a big Gargoyles fan, The Goliath Chronicles is full of flanderization, lapses of logic, poor animation, and also out of characterization. This product spits on those who watched the first two seasons along with the newcomers.
     
    And this is only the shit marketed "to kids." I can go out and bash horrific entertainment aimed at adults, too. It's an outrageous double standard that demeans the fandom, its growth, and its sustainment. Since points go through one ear and out the other, I'll repeat it: Do you know or remember why the fandom sustained in its size? Because the show has a quality that bridges demographics together. The characters are relatable. Several high-quality episodes emotionally connect with people on a very deep level, like Suited for Success; Hurricane Fluttershy; Testing Testing 1, 2, 3; Pinkie Pride; Winter Wrap Up; and Sleepless in Ponyville.
     
    You can't say plenty of the content bridges beyond the base demographic, yet simultaneously claim this is a product "for five-year-olds" and that the older voices don't matter one bit. Like what Tommy Oliver lambasted in his Equestria Girls review, these statements are incongruent, and "it's for kids" is inherently hypocritical. It's either for all ages (which it is, and anyone who claims otherwise is lying) or "for little girls" (who, by the excuse, you imply that they deserve the pandering schlock that nearly killed the franchise in the first place). The people you're talking to doesn't determine the quality of the product. The execution of the content determines the overall quality of your product. The audiences you're trying to attract only determines the content rating — what is allowed or not by law. Friendship Is Magic, for example, is rated TV-Y in the US, by far the strictest rating. Hasbro and DHX can't afford to put in more graphic content in hopes of not having the FCC or standard-and-practices lawyers being sicced on.
     
    A few decades ago (notably the 1990s), several cartoons weren't afraid to step across the boundaries and deliver quality entertainment. Sure, some of them were misses (Powerpuff Girls's Mime for a Change for its out-of-character ending; Collect Her for its mean-spirited commentary towards older fans), but plenty were hits. Hey Arnold! (not one of my favorites) is a great cartoon that took its audience seriously and portrayed many city and child problems tactfully, thus expanding the characters' dimensions. Courage the Cowardly Dog is unbelievably creepy with plenty of great slapstick, but it wasn't afraid to tackle real problems and portray them seriously; check out The Mask for its commentary on domestic abuse, sexism, and homosexuality. Or another Hasbro product: Beast Wars's "Code of Hero." Heck, even pre-movie Spongebob is still remembered because most of the time, it didn't fall into the traps that factually bad animations make.
     
    Then again, if Nickelodeon can get away with close-up shots of ripped toenails, portraying suicide realistically to mock it (twice), blatant animal cruelty, racist stereotypes, and rape jokes in cartoons rated TV-Y7, then— I don't wanna think about that idea anymore! NEXT! Kids are never a target audience. A target audience is the idea of selling a product to someone. Do you think kids are going to be buying those products? No. So how do they get? By their guardian's approval. The guardians (particularly ones with common sense) decide if the product is suitable in both content and quality for his or her kid(s), not the kids themselves. And what "children's" television works best? Ones where kids and adults are treated with equal respect. MLP:FIM, in terms of the comics and animation, is suitable for all ages. Young kids, teens, parents, and any adult who enjoys quality animation. It's the same audience as the Disney classics, Pixar, several classic children's books, and other current products of today that know what they're doing. If people love and enjoy factually bad shows as kids, there's a chance they'll enjoy factually bad shows as adults, too; that's intolerable. Kids should be directed to quality family entertainment so they can create sets of standards.
    Because kids are easily influenced by the voices and sights surrounding them, family entertainment should be enforced with STRICTER and HIGHER standards, not lower. If the quality is good, it should be recommended. On the other hand, if it's bad, it should be called out and criticized sternly — if it's abominable, very harshly. "It's for kids" is no excuse for bad concepts, bad executions, bad animation, bad writing, and bad products in general. The more various sections of the brony fandom and people in general use it to bypass quality flaws that make or break the story; episode; comic; or movie, the more they'll accept any kind of quality, including the really bad kind that Spongebob's going through now and Thomas until last year. The less the lazy "it's for kids" handwave is used and the more the excuse is called out, the better.
  6. Dark Qiviut
    The Internet can be a really great or really dangerous place. The trolling that Chris-Chan has had to face for the past seven to eight years highlights the dangers of the Internet. "Autism," a clinical diagnosis, has been used as the new and so-called "cute" ableist slur, and apparently 4chan appropriated it as a result of Chris-chan's naivety and use of his condition as why he behaves the way he does.
     
    But you know what? I don't care if Chris has been sexist or doesn't understand the concept of transgender. There's no good reason to be a troll, period! It takes a special dose of scumbag to troll him. And it takes an ever bigger dose of scumbag on top of it to claim he deserves to be trolled. How do you feel if you were stalked for hundreds of hours, lured to reveal a lot about your life, researched you even more, and then posted every single thing about your life on websites dedicated to mocking you and doxxing you? Not fun now, is it? That's what happened to Chris-chan; hundreds of hours were spent to not give him any privacy. Why? To borrow one of the most pathetic excuses to troll (and one of the worst online memes of all-time): "for the lulz."
     
    Trolling isn't cute or funny. It's sadistic. The cyberbullying of Chris-Chan and the victim-blaming to go along with it proves Mr. Enter's point about how modern online trolling shouldn't be celebrated, condoned, ignored, or tolerated. The whole saga is one of the saddest cases of online trolling I've ever seen and is one reason why I wouldn't mind if modern trolling becomes a felony.
  7. Dark Qiviut
    MLB is in a lockout, but the Hall of Fame ballot isn't.
    To repeat from my past blog, every year, a select group from the BBWAA has the privilege to vote for a select number of players approved by the Screening Committee. In order for a former player to qualify for the ballot, they had to have played for at least ten years and not play for five afterwards.
    This year, thirty players qualified for the ballot, and residential ballot tracker Ryan Thibodaux re-created its layout for online tracking purposes.

    Here's one filled out:
    Any writer with the privilege to vote for the Hall of Fame can vote anywhere from zero to ten players and pick whoever they choose. In other words, they can vote for a player now after not voting for him last year, and vice-versa. Also, pay attention to the date bolded on top. All ballots must be postmarked by December 31 and mailed back to the Hall of Fame to count. Over the years, some ballots got lost in the mail.
    There are three main ways for anyone to get knocked off are if they get elected, don't get elected after ten years, or get less than five percent of the electorate. If they don't get elected, they'll be eligible to be reviewed and potentially elected via one of the four Veterans Committees.
    If you look at Thibodaux's re-creation of that ballot, four former players are in the last year of eligibility on the writers' ballots. If Bonds, Clemens, Schilling, and/or Sosa don't make it, they'll likely become part of the Today's Game Committee ballots, which rendezvous next December.
    I don't have a ballot, but if I did, this was my ballot from last cycle:
    Abreu Bonds Buehrle Clemens Tim Hudson Andruw Jones Rolen Sheffield Sammy Sosa (+1) Billy Wagner The "+1" means I'm voting for him this cycle after not doing so last year. Also… (copied from the last blog):
    These are my ten, much of this C&P'd:
     Bobby Abreu: One of the most underrated hitting outfielders. While he doesn't wow the crowd, he was a very consistent, high-quality hitter. While he has a career .291 average, his 128 OPS+ (On-base plus slugging while adjusting to the era and parks they played in; a number of "100" is league-average), 1476 walks, 574 doubles, and .395 on-base percentage explain why he averaged a 5.2 WAR from 1999-2006 and finished his career with a 60.2 WAR. He also stole bases in high quantity, stealing 400 over his career. At 5.5% last offseason, he barely survived his first cycle. Thankfully, he's getting some more support and may have a shot to be on a few more years.
      Barry Bonds: Nothing needs to be said about the greatest hitter since Hank Aaron retired. #1 all-time in homers, walks, and intentional walks. Career 182 OPS+ and 173 wRC+ (Weighted Runs Created Plus: a measure of the quality of the player on offense, weighed in by the era and ballpark environment; "100" is league-average). Steroid-aided or not, his stretch from 2001-'04 (where he won the NL MVP each time; he has a record seven altogether) is one of the most dominant of all time.
      Mark Buehrle: One of the most underrated, quiet pitchers. While he may not scream "Hall of Fame" on the surface, he has credentials. A workhorse who pitched to soft contact, the only years he didn't log in 200 innings were 2000 (his rookie season, where he was a reliever) and 2015 (his last, missing the mark by 1.1 innings). He was also extremely quick on the mound, often spending no less than ten seconds per pitch. Since 1990, he's only the eleventh pitcher to win 200 or more games, winning 214. Was the ace of the White Sox when they won their first World Series in 88 years in 2005. He has four Gold Gloves and is an excellent defender; this play from Opening Day 2010 being his best play of his career and best play of the season.
    Here's more about Buehrle's credentials that I recommend reading: https://www.nbcsports.com/chicago/white-sox/why-white-sox-legend-mark-buehrle-belongs-hall-fame
      Roger Clemens: Making his debut in 1984, the most consistently dominant pitcher in the last forty years. Steroid-aided or not, his 354 wins is third-most all-time in the live-ball era (behind Maddux's 355 and Warren Spahn's 363). Pitched 220+ innings in a season 11 times, 230+ nine times (and led his league or the majors twice). He holds the record for the most Cy Young Awards with seven, getting his last in 2004 (his first and only one in the NL). His 138.7 pitching WAR and 4916.2 innings are most and second, respectively, for a pitcher not in the Hall.
      Tim Hudson: This dude will likely fall off the ballot, but Tim Hudson was a really good pitcher for a really long time. Received votes for the Cy Young four times (including finishing the runner-up to the hyper-dominant Pedro in 2000). 2014 World Champ pitching for the Giants. Was part of a dominant trio of pitchers during the first part of his career with the A's (along with Zito & Mulder). While w/ the Braves, he was their anchor at the top of the rotation. Finished with 222 career wins, a 3.49 ERA, 120 ERA+. Four-time All-Star.
      David Ortíz: Edgar Martínez is the greatest DH. Who's #2? Big Papi. I can talk about his 541 career home runs, his 55.4 career WAR while spending most of his career as the DH, his legendary age-40 season in 2016 that put him in the MVP debate, and his historic 2013 World Series MVP run. Instead, here's a video of some of his clutchest moments (most of them while leading Boston to three World Championships): Scott Rolen: The most underrated position player on the ballot, and one who barely survived his first ballot could crack at least 45% this year. A third-baseman with some of the best range in the history of the game, he won 8 GGs and had at least 11 DRSs in every year he played when the stat was born except 2003 and 2012. Best year is 2004: .314 average, 31 homers, 124 RBIs, 158 OPS+, finished 4th in the NL MVP voting. While he finished with only 2077 hits, his 517 doubles are 52nd all time, and he has a career 70.1 WAR, above the 68.4 average among the 17 third-basemen elected.
      Jimmy Rollins: A cornerstone at shortstop for the Phillies, he was one of the leaders in their most successful run in franchise history. During his career, he led the NL in triples three times, stole 30 or more bases ten times, won four gold gloves, doubled 36+ times in eight seasons, and was a three-time All Star. During his six-season peak of 2004-'09, he averaged 5.1 WAR. He also has the longest hitting streak in Phillies history with 38, surpassing Hall-of-Famer Ed Delahanty. In 2007, he had one of the greatest seasons as a hitting shortstop: En route to his lone NL Silver Slugger, he led the NL or MLB in games played, plate appearances, at bats, triples, and tied for second in the NL in hits (tied with Hanley Ramirez, only four behind Matt Holliday) and total bases (again, behind Holliday). In 2007, he became the seventh player to enter the 20-20-20 club (20 homers, 20 doubles, 20 triples), leading his Phillies to come back from a seven-game deficit over the Mets with 17 games left and win the NL MVP.
      Sammy Sosa: I can talk about his monster peak from 1998-'02, his three 60+ home-run seasons, how he dazzled in three straight Home Run Derbies (2000-'02), his 1998 NL MVP, his corked bat, alleged steroid-aided career, etc. Don't care. It's called the Hall of Fame for a reason: After the 19994 strike, fans stopped caring about the game. The home race to 62 homers between him and Mark McGwire was one of the most exhilarating chases in baseball history. It brought fans back into the game and saved Major League Baseball.
      Billy Wagner: The three drawbacks against Wagner are his low innings total (only 903, no HoFer pitcher has an inning total below 1,000), his poor playoff performances, and lower Win Probability Added (WPA) — 29.1 — than closers in the Hall like Hoffman, Gossage, and Wilhelm. But among those with at least 900 innings on their résumé, he's #1 in strikeouts per 9 (11.9), Batting Average Against (.187); and #2 in ERA+ (187, behind Rivera's 205) & K/BB% (24.9%). During this growing era of reliever reliance, relievers dominate for a few years and then flame out due to injury or inability to miss bats. (LaTroy Hawkins's consistency and perseverance over his 21-year career despite his transition from starter to reliever is why he's on the ballot.) Billy Wagner was a consistent, dominant closer for almost his entire career, including his last year in 2010 (his first full year after coming back from Tommy John surgery). Also, despite an excellent 2010, he retired to spend more time w/ his family, sacrificing padding his counting stats. At the time of retirement, his 422 saves were fifth all-time (now sixth with Francisco Rodriguez since passing him). He's the greatest left-handed reliever of all time, only Aroldis Chapman comes close. Both Andruw Jones and Sheffield are temporary drops. Because Bonds, Clemens, and Sosa are guaranteed to leave the ballot after this cycle, they'll be back.
    Vizquel was a temporary drop after he was accused of domestic violence by his ex-wife. A few months ago, a more disturbing story came out, as he was accused of sexually harassing an autistic batboy while coaching in the White Sox's minor-league system. For now, he remains a drop.
    Schilling remains a "no." Due to the "no politics" rule, I won't fully explain why, but needless to say, his conspiracy-driven behavior has completely overshadowed his on-the-field accomplishments over his career.
    Manny Ramírez remains a "no" for one simple reason: He tested positive for PEDs twice after testing was implemented in 2005, the second directly resulting in his retirement. Álex Rodríguez also remains a "no" after being suspended the entire 2014 season for his role in the Biogenesis scandal.
    If my ballot actually mattered, I might've dropped Rolen temporarily to vote for Joe Nathan, too.
    David Ortíz is the only one with the best chance to make it to Cooperstown. Hope he does. Fingers crossed!
  8. Dark Qiviut
    With MLB knee-deep in the offseason, that means it's not just free agency, but Hall of Fame season!
    Every year, a select number of writers from the BBWAA have the privilege to vote for a group of players approved by the Screening Committee. In order to potentially qualify to be on the ballot, you must've played at least ten years and not play at least five after that. While there were about 35 players approved in each of the last few years, only twenty-five were on the ballot this year.
    Residential ballot tracker Ryan Thibodaux re-created the columns for the computer screen and his ballot tracker.

    And here's an actual ballot filled out:
    Writers can vote anywhere from zero people at the minimum to the maximum of ten. Also, writers aren't stuck to voting for a specific candidate or specific number; for whatever reason, they can add or drop players every year. Plus, notice the deadline in De Luca's official ballot. Every ballot is mailed to eligible voters, and each ballot must by postmarked by December 31 and mailed back for them to count. There have been instances of ballots being lost in the mail over the years. XD
    The three main ways a player gets knocked off the ballot are if they get elected in, don't make it before the ten years of eligibility expire, or if they get less than five percent of the electorate. Those who don't make it to the Hall by the baseball writers will get reviewed by specific Veterans Committees. Over the years, many players knocked off the BBWAA ballot get elected in the future.
    I'm neither a member of the BBWAA nor a journalist, so I can't vote for them for real. But my hypothetical last year was this:
    Abreu Bonds Clemens Jeter Andruw Jones Rolen Sheffield (+1) Vizquel (+1) Billy Wagner Larry Walker (+1) The "+1" indicator means that I didn't vote for him last cycle. Per tradition, I'm submitting my own candidates on my hypothetical ballot before the New Year's Day deadline.
    Also, a guideline: I use Wins Above Replacement ("WAR") —  a complex sabermetric stat that calculates the approximate number of wins a player contributed to the team he played for — particularly from Baseball-Reference. Unless I use the versions from Fangraphs (fWar) or Baseball Prospectus (WARP), that's what I'll use when I refer to WAR.
    If I were a voter, I'm picking ten candidates, which are the following:
    Bobby Abreu: One of the most underrated hitting outfielders. While he doesn't wow the crowd, he was a very consistent, high-quality hitter. While he has a career .291 average, his 128 OPS+ (On-base plus slugging while adjusting to the era and parks they played in; a number of "100" is league-average), 1476 walks, 574 doubles, and .395 on-base percentage explain why he averaged a 5.2 WAR from 1999-2006 and finished his career with a 60.2 WAR. He also stole bases in high quantity, stealing 400 over his career. At 5.5% last offseason, he barely survived his first cycle. Thankfully, he's getting some more support and may have a shot to be on a few more years.
      Barry Bonds: Nothing needs to be said about the greatest hitter since Hank Aaron retired. #1 all-time in homers, walks, and intentional walks. Career 182 OPS+ and 173 wRC+ (Weighted Runs Created Plus: a measure of the quality of the player on offense, weighed in by the era and ballpark environment; "100" is league-average). Steroid-aided or not, his stretch from 2001-'04 (where he won the NL MVP each time; he has a record seven altogether) is one of the most dominant of all time.
      Mark Buehrle: One of the most underrated, quiet pitchers. While he may not scream "Hall of Fame" on the surface, he has credentials. A workhorse who pitched to soft contact, the only years he didn't log in 200 innings were 2000 (his rookie season, where he was a reliever) and 2015 (his last, missing the mark by 1.1 innings). He was also extremely quick on the mound, often spending no less than ten seconds per pitch. Since 1990, he's only the eleventh pitcher to win 200 or more games, winning 214. Was the ace of the White Sox when they won their first World Series in 88 years in 2005. He has four Gold Gloves and is an excellent defender; this play from Opening Day 2010 being his best play of his career and best play of the season.
    Here's more about Buehrle's credentials that I recommend reading: https://www.nbcsports.com/chicago/white-sox/why-white-sox-legend-mark-buehrle-belongs-hall-fame
      Roger Clemens: Making his debut in 1984, the most consistently dominant pitcher in the last forty years. Steroid-aided or not, his 354 wins is third-most all-time in the live-ball era (behind Maddux's 355 and Warren Spahn's 363). Pitched 220+ innings in a season 11 times, 230+ nine times (and led his league or the majors twice). He holds the record for the most Cy Young Awards with seven, getting his last in 2004 (his first and only one in the NL). His 138.7 pitching WAR and 4916.2 innings are most and second, respectively, for a pitcher not in the Hall.
      Tim Hudson: This dude will likely fall off the ballot, but Tim Hudson was a really good pitcher for a really long time. Received votes for the Cy Young four times (including finishing the runner-up to the hyper-dominant Pedro in 2000). 2014 World Champ pitching for the Giants. Was part of a dominant trio of pitchers during the first part of his career with the A's (along with Zito & Mulder). While w/ the Braves, he was their anchor at the top of the rotation. Finished with 222 career wins, a 3.49 ERA, 120 ERA+. Four-time All-Star.
      Andruw Jones: He may be the greatest defensive center-fielder in the history of the game. Ten-time Gold Glove winner. Five-time All-Star. Runner-up for the 2005 NL MVP behind Pujols. According to Baseball-Ref, his Defensive WAR (dWAR) is 24.4; and from 2003-'07 (2003: the year the Defensive Runs Saved [DRS] stat was born), he had season of 10 or more DRS in four of five seasons. Should he make the Hall of Fame, his .254 average — a result of his production falling off a cliff from 2007 to his end in 2012 — would be the lowest of any position player outside of catcher or pitcher. But his first ten seasons were historic.
      Scott Rolen: The most underrated position player on the ballot, and one who barely survived his first ballot could crack at least 45% this year. A third-baseman with some of the best range in the history of the game, he won 8 GGs and had at least 11 DRSs in every year he played when the stat was born except 2003 and 2012. Best year is 2004: .314 average, 31 homers, 124 RBIs, 158 OPS+, finished 4th in the NL MVP voting. While he finished with only 2077 hits, his 517 doubles is 52nd all time, and he has a career 70.1 WAR, above the 68.4 average among the 17 third-basemen elected.
      Gary Sheffield: One of the quickest swings in baseball; despite his waggle, never struck out more than 83 times per season and finished his career with 304 more walks than K's (1475 vs. 1171). Had an OBP of .380 or higher 12 times (10 if you discount the partial years of 1994 & 1995). During his 10-year peak of 1996-2005, he average 4.5 WAR, 5.6 Offensive WAR, 98 walks, 66 K's, a .313/.417/.552 slash line, an OPS of .969, and 154 OPS+. His two best offensive seasons are in 1992 and 1996, the latter in which he had 142 walks and led the NL with a .465 OBP, 1.089 OPS, and 189 OPS+.
      Sammy Sosa (+1): I can talk about his monster peak from 1998-'02, his three 60+ home-run seasons, how he dazzled in three straight Home Run Derbies (2000-'02), his 1998 NL MVP, his corked bat, alleged steroid-aided career, etc. Don't care. It's called the Hall of Fame for a reason: After the 19994 strike, fans stopped caring about the game. The home race to 62 homers between him and Mark McGwire was one of the most exhilarating chases in baseball history. It brought fans back into the game and saved Major League Baseball. My only "+1" on the ballot.
      Billy Wagner: The three drawbacks against Wagner are his low innings total (only 903, no HoFer pitcher has an inning total below 1,000), his poor playoff performances, and lower Win Probability Added (WPA) — 29.1 — than closers in the Hall like Hoffman, Gossage, and Wilhelm. But among those with at least 900 innings on their résumé, he's #1 in strikeouts per 9 (11.9), Batting Average Against (.187); and #2 in ERA+ (187, behind Rivera's 205) & K/BB% (24.9%). During this growing era of reliever reliance, relievers dominate for a few years and then flame out due to injury or inability to miss bats. (LaTroy Hawkins's consistency and perseverance over his 21-year career despite his transition from starter to reliever is why he's on the ballot.) Billy Wagner was a consistent, dominant closer for almost his entire career, including his last year in 2010 (his first full year after coming back from Tommy John surgery). Also, despite an excellent 2010, he retired to spend more time w/ his family, sacrificing padding his counting stats. At the time of retirement, his 422 saves were fifth all-time (now sixth with Francisco Rodriguez since passing him). He's the greatest left-handed reliever of all time, only Aroldis Chapman comes close. Omar Vizquel is a drop. Do I think he's a Hall of Famer? Absolutely. Even though I love and endorse advanced statistic and sabermetrics, Vizquel was one of the sweetest defenders in baseball despite the advanced stats like OPS+ and WAR not being so kind to him. But Vizquel is going to be on the ballot for a while, while Buehrle and Abreu may not survive this one, and Vizquel's current domestic abuse investigation also makes things a bit easier to temporarily kick him off for at least one ballot. That said, should there be room next year, he goes back on my ballot.
    Curt Schilling (despite being one of the greatest playoff pitchers ever) remains a "no." I won't specify the reasons on here due to the MLPF's "no politics" rule, but let me make my point loud and clear. His reprehensible behavior crosses beyond politics and into pure hate speech. It's impossible to separate Schilling's accomplishments throughout his career from his in-your-face, post-career, conspiracy-driven lunacy, because he depends on a platform and microphone to blare what he writes and says without consequence. (I won't be arguing this in the comments; you're not changing my mind.)
    Manny Ramírez is a "no" for one simple reason: He violated MLB's steroid policy twice, the latter directly resulting in his abrupt retirement in 2011.
    Others like Torii Hunter (a really good player, but not great), Andy Pettitte (a really good, consistent pitcher throughout his career and the second-highest win total of any pitcher who debuted in the 1990s, but ballot too crowded), Helton (too crowded), and Jeff Kent (too crowded) are why they're off.
    So to make it simple:
    Abreu Bonds Buehrle Clemens Hudson A. Jones Rolen Sheffield Sosa (+1) B. Wagner
  9. Dark Qiviut

    Happy 11th Anniversary, FIM!

    By Dark Qiviut,


    Happy anniversary, FIM!
    Time really flies, doesn't it? On July 22, 2011, I began watching Season 1 for the first time, starting with the pilot and plowing through to The Best Night Ever. The show got me hooked. Fluttershy became my instant favorite of the entire series, a spot no one else took. Not only did I stick with FIM for the rest of its run, but also its successor.
    Seth over at EQD posted a nice question celebrating this occasion, and I have something to say:
    Hell, no! You wouldn't produce nine seasons without feeling confident folks would watch it, stick to it, and buy merch (either for themselves or for their kids). Nine seasons is nothing to sneeze at, especially when consistently maintaining good quality. Bronydom itself made a gigantic impact on ANG and the introduction of both Izzy and Sunny.
    In addition, FIM is vital to the growth of WildBrain (previously DHX) and western animation altogether. This show and Adventure Time began western animation's equivalent of the Revival Era, and that impact spread to several other shows, such as Thomas & Friends for a five-year span, Owl House, the DuckTales reboot, Gravity Falls, She-Ra, Hilda, Steven U, and so many more. ANG demonstrates its willfulness to enter that plethora.
    Each of the Mane Eight (the Mane Six, Spike, and Starlight) left a magical impact on the show and its growth. G4 proves that making a proudly feminine and feminist show is worthwhile to multiple demographics, leaving G5 open to future success of its own.
    Thank you, FIM. Thanks to you, I can't wait for what G5 has in store.
  12. Dark Qiviut
    Way too many people don't understand why people say "Black Lives Matter." Since the start of the slave trade, Black people have been treated as worse than second-class citizens. Today, lots of people, especially whites, see Black people as less of a human and more of a commodity. This is especially the case when it comes to policing. Some of the first policing were slave patrols. While slave patrols don't exist anymore, the mentality remains. Police brutality has been an ENORMOUS problem for centuries. Unfortunately, no real change takes place. Black Lives Matter was created in response and why it still has a massive force.
    When folks say "All lives matter," they literally warp and handwave why people say "Black Lives Matter." "Black Lives Matter" means "Black Lives Matter, too." "All lives matter" isn't grounded into reality and gaslights to people that Black people are on an equal level as white people. Black people are fucking tired of being ignored, pushed aside, tokenized, and treated as sub-human, and especially tired of an injustice system that systemically enjoys punishing people of color more than whites.
  13. Dark Qiviut
    After I failed Fake It 'Til You Make It, I decided to put all 28 failed episodes in order from worst F- minus to least worst F+. That list eventually expanded into a complete list of episodes I graded, from the best letter-plus episode to the worst letter-minus, .
    The statuses can be found here: A episodes, B episodes, C episodes, D episodes, and F episodes. With each list compiled, I'm taking every episode in the show and arranged it in order from the best to the worst. The list is always subject to change; episodes could be upgraded or downgraded at anytime.
    S9 episodes are in bold underline. Those aired early are under "spoiler" tags.
    To see every piece of FIM media I graded (and how I graded each episode for each season), click here. That gets updated during each season and possibly in between or during the offseason, if I changed one.
    And for readability purposes, I sectioned each list with "— — —" in between. Let's begin!
    The Perfect Pear: A+ The Best Night Ever: A+ Crusaders of the Lost Mark: A+ Amending Fences: A+ Shadow Play: A+ The Big Mac Question: A+ The Last Crusade: A+ Sparkle's Seven: A+ Sisterhooves Social: A+ The Cutie Map: A+ A Rockhoof and a Hard Place: A+ Parental Glideance: A+ The Break Up Break Down: A+ Party of One: A+
    — — — The Last Problem: A Testing Testing 1, 2, 3: A Pinkie Pride: A The Hearth's Warming Club: A Slice of Life: A Dragon Dropped: A Suited for Success: A Road to Friendship: A The Summer Sun Setback: A The Washouts: A Lesson Zero: A Sleepless in Ponyville: A Hurricane Fluttershy: A Between Dark and Dawn: A The Times They Are A Changeling: A Flight to the Finish: A The Mean 6: A Common Ground: A Frenemies: A A Hearth's Warming Tail: A The Saddle Row Review: A Surf and/or Turf: A Marks and Recreation: A Grannies Gone Wild: A Cutie Re-Mark: A
    — — — Castle Sweet Castle: A- The Cutie Mark Chronicles: A- Once Upon a Zeppelin: A- The Fault in Our Cutie Marks: A- Sounds of Silence: A- Discordant Harmony: A- Wonderbolts Academy: A- She's All Yak: A- The Mane Attraction: A- Uncommon Bond: A- The Return of Harmony: A- Horse Play: A- For Whom the Sweetie Belle Toils: A- Gauntlet of Fire: A- Bloom & Gloom: A- Molt Down: A- What Lies Beneath: A- The Last Laugh: A- It Isn't the Mane Thing About You: A- All Bottled Up: A- The Point of No Return: A- Winter Wrap Up: A-
    — — — A Flurry of Emotions: B+ The Beginning of the End: B+ Rarity Takes Manehattan: B+ She Talks to Angel: B+ Luna Eclipsed: B+ Scare Master: B+ Friendship University: B+ A Horse Shoe-In: B+ Call of the Cutie: B+ Student Counsel: B+ Marks for Effort: B+ Magic Duel: B+ Pinkie Apple Pie: B+ Viva Las Pegasus: B+ The Parent Map: B+ Uprooted: B+ To Change a Changeling: B+ On Your Marks: B+
    — — — Daring Doubt: B Apple Family Reunion: B Family Appreciation Day: B The Crystalling: B Green Isn't Your Color: B Hearth's Warming Eve: B Secret of My Excess: B Top Bolt: B Rainbow Roadtrip: B The Last Roundup: B The End in Friend: B Inspiration Manifestation: B A Health of Information: B Sweet and Smoky: B Fall Weather Friends: B School Raze: B Look Before You Sleep: B Twilight Time: B Rarity Investigates!: B The Maud Couple: B Dungeons & Discords: B Sonic Rainboom: B A Friend in Deed: B
    — — — Sweet and Elite: B- Triple Threat: B- School Daze: B- Applebuck Season: B- Read It and Weep: B- It's About Time: B- Castle Mane-ia: B- Celestial Advice: B- Going to Seed: B- Canterlot Boutique: B- Stranger Than Fan Fiction: B- Hearthbreakers: B- Twilight's Kingdom: B- A Trivial Pursuit: B- Dragonshy: B- Swarm of the Century: B- Not Asking for Trouble: B- Father Knows Beast: B- Where the Apple Lies: B-
    — — — Forever Filly: C+ Campfire Tales: C+ Rock Solid Friendship: C+ Maud Pie: C+ Made in Manehattan: C+ Too Many Pinkie Pies: C+ The Best Gift Ever: C+ Make New Friends but Keep Discord: C+ Daring Done?: C+ The Gift of Maud Pie: C+ Three's a Crowd: C+ Baby Cakes: C+
    — — — Power Ponies: C A Dog and Pony Show: C The Lost Treasure of Griffonstone: C Friendship Is Magic: C Leap of Faith: C Applejack's "Day" Off: C The One Where Pinkie Knows: C The Cutie Pox: C The Ending of the End: C Fluttershy Leans In: C
    — — — Buckball Season: C- Magical Mystery Cure: C- Princess Twilight Sparkle: C- Simple Ways: C- Stare Master: C- Party Pooped: C- A Canterlot Wedding: C- Spice Up Your Life: C- Growing Up Is Hard to Do: C- The Super Speedy Cider Squeezy 6000: C- A Royal Problem: C- The Ticket Master: C- A Matter of Principals: C-
    — — — Over a Barrel: D+ Equestria Games: D+ Griffon the Brush Off: D+ Brotherhooves Social: D+ Do Princesses Dream of Magic Sheep?: D+ Tanks for the Memories: D+ The Hooffields and McColts: D+ Keep Calm and Flutter On: D+
    — — — Filly Vanilli: D A Bird in the Hoof: D Hearts and Hooves Day: D 2, 4, 6, Greaaat: D Just for Sidekicks: D Every Little Thing She Does: D Daring Don't: D Secrets and Pies: D Yakity-Sax: D
    — — — Feeling Pinkie Keen: D- Spike at Your Service: D- Ponyville Confidential: D- MMMystery on the Friendship Express: D- Non-Compete Clause: D- It Ain't Easy Being Breezies: D-
    — — — Flutter Brutter: F+ Games Ponies Play: F+ Bats!: F+ The Crystal Empire: F+
    — — — No Second Prances: F Honest Apple: F May the Best Pet Win!: F What About Discord?: F Fake It 'Til You Make It: F To Where and Back Again: F Hard to Say Anything: F The Cart Before the Ponies: F Trade Ya!: F Appleoosa's Most Wanted: F The Show Stoppers: F Putting Your Hoof Down: F Somepony to Watch Over Me: F Boast Busters: F P.P.O.V.: F The Mysterious Mare Do Well: F Owl's Well That Ends Well: F Princess Spike: F
    — — — 28 Pranks Later: F- Rainbow Falls: F- Dragon Quest: F- Bridle Gossip: F- Fame and Misfortune: F- Newbie Dash: F- One Bad Apple: F-
  14. Dark Qiviut
    One of my biggest peeves in reviewing is giving something a calculated score, because it's very difficult if not impossible to reduce the quality to such a mark. Plus, whenever many people see a score, they tend to not read the review at all and rely on the score/grade itself as proof for purchase.
    Nonetheless, if I were to grade the following based on the following items below, they would be the followings below the first rule. The grades are respective and separated to the following categories:
    Season 1 Season 2 Season 3 Season 4 Season 5 Season 6 Season 7 Season 8 Season 9 MLP: The Movie & Specials Equestria Girls series, RR animated shorts, specials, and IDW comic/annual Main Comic Series* Micro-Series Friends Forever If you want to see my order of every FIM episode from best to worst (with grades), click here.
    Be warned: There are no reasons given for any of the grades, and they're all subject to change. Let's begin!
    Season 1:
    Friendship Is Magic: C The Ticket Master: C- Applebuck Season: B- Griffon the Brush Off: D+ Boast Busters: F Dragonshy: B- Look Before You Sleep: B Bridle Gossip: F- Swarm of the Century: B- Winter Wrap Up: A- Call of the Cutie: B+ Fall Weather Friends: B Suited for Success: A Feeling Pinkie Keen: D- Sonic Rainboom: B Stare Master: C- The Show Stoppers: F A Dog and Pony Show: C Green Isn't Your Color: B Over a Barrel: D+ A Bird in the Hoof: D The Cutie Mark Chronicles: A- Owl's Well that Ends Well: F Party of One: A+ The Best Night Ever: A+ ———
    Season 2:
    The Return of Harmony: A- Lesson Zero: A Luna Eclipsed: B+ Sisterhooves Social: A+ The Cutie Pox: C May the Best Pet Win!: F The Mysterious Mare Do Well: F Sweet and Elite: B- Secret of My Excess: B Hearth's Warming Eve: B Family Appreciation Day: B Baby Cakes: C+ The Last Roundup: B
    The Last Roundup (edited): F The Super Speedy Cider Squeezy 6000: C- Read It and Weep: B- Hearts and Hooves Day: D A Friend in Deed: B Putting Your Hoof Down: F It's About Time: B- Dragon Quest: F- Hurricane Fluttershy: A Ponyville Confidential: D- MMMystery on the Friendship Express: D- A Canterlot Wedding: C- ———
    Season 3:
    The Crystal Empire: F+ Too Many Pinkie Pies: C+ One Bad Apple: F- Magic Duel: B+ Sleepless in Ponyville: A Wonderbolts Academy: A- Apple Family Reunion: B Spike at Your Service: D- Keep Calm and Flutter On: D+ Just for Sidekicks: D Games Ponies Play: F+ Magical Mystery Cure: C- ———
    Season 4:
    Princess Twilight Sparkle: C- Castle Mane-ia: B- Daring Don't: D Flight to the Finish: A Power Ponies: C Bats!: F+ Rarity Takes Manehattan: B+ Pinkie Apple Pie: B+ Rainbow Falls: F- Three's a Crowd: C+ Pinkie Pride: A Simple Ways: C- Filli Vanilli: D Twilight Time: B It Ain't Easy Being Breezies: D- Somepony to Watch Over Me: F Maud Pie: C+ For Whom the Sweetie Belle Toils: A- Leap of Faith: C Testing Testing 1, 2, 3: A Trade Ya!: F Inspiration Manifestation: B Equestria Games: D+ Twilight's Kingdom: B- ———
    Season 5:
    The Cutie Map: A+ Castle Sweet Castle: A- Bloom & Gloom: A- Tanks for the Memories: D+ Appleoosa's Most Wanted: F Make Friends but Keep Discord: C+ The Lost Treasure of Griffonstone: C Slice of Life: A Princess Spike: F Party Pooped: C- Amending Fences: A+ Do Princesses Dream of Magic Sheep?: D+ Canterlot Boutique: B- Rarity Investigates!: B Made in Manehattan: C+ Brotherhooves Social: D+ Crusaders of the Lost Mark: A+ The One Where Pinkie Knows: C Hearthbreakers: B- Scare Master: B+ What About Discord: F The Hooffields and McColts: D+ The Mane Attraction: A- The Cutie Re-Mark: A ———
    Season 6:
    The Crystalling: B The Gift of Maud Pie: C+ On Your Marks: B+ Gauntlet of Fire: A- No Second Prances: F Newbie Dash: F- A Hearth's Warming Tail: A The Saddle Row Review: A Applejack's "Day" Off: C Flutter Brutter: F+ Spice Up Your Life: C- Stranger Than Fan Fiction: B- The Cart Before the Ponies: F 28 Pranks Later: F- The Times They Are a Changeling: A Dungeons & Discords: B Buckball Season: C- The Fault in Our Cutie Marks: A- Viva Las Pegasus: B+ Every Little Thing She Does: D P.P.O.V. (Pony Point of View): F Where the Apple Lies: B- Top Bolt: B To Where and Back Again: F ———
    Season 7:
    Celestial Advice: B- All Bottled Up: A- A Flurry of Emotions: B+ Rock Solid Friendship: C+ Fluttershy Leans In: C Forever Filly: C+ Parental Glideance: A+ Hard to Say Anything: F Honest Apple: F A Royal Problem: C- Not Asking for Trouble: B- Discordant Harmony: A- The Perfect Pear: A+ Fame and Misfortune: F- Triple Threat: B- Campfire Tales: C+ To Change a Changeling: B+ Daring Done: C+ It Isn't the Mane Thing About You: A- A Health of Information: B Marks and Recreation: A Once Upon a Zeppelin: A- Secrets and Pies: D Uncommon Bond: A- Shadow Play: A+ ———
    Season 8:
    School Daze: B- The Maud Couple: B Fake It 'Til You Make It: F Grannies Gone Wild: A Surf and/or Turf: A Horse Play: A- The Parent Map: B+ Non-Compete Clause: D- The Break Up Break Down: A+ Molt Down: A- Marks for Effort: B+ The Mean 6: A A Matter of Principals: C- The Hearth's Warming Club: A Friendship University: B+ The End in Friend: B Yakity-Sax: D On the Road to Friendship: A The Washouts: A A Rockhoof and a Hard Place: A+ What Lies Beneath: A- Sounds of Silence: A- Father Knows Beast: B- School Raze: B ———
    Season 9:
    The Beginning of the End: B+ Uprooted: B+ Sparkle's Seven: A+ The Point of No Return: A- Common Ground: A She's All Yak: A- Frenemies: A Sweet and Smoky: B Going to Seed: B- Student Counsel: B+ The Last Crusade: A+ Between Dark and Dawn: A The Last Laugh: A- 2, 4, 6, Greaaat: D A Trivial Pursuit: B- The Summer Sun Setback: A She Talks to Angel: B+ Dragon Dropped: A A Horse Shoe-In: B+ Daring Doubt: B Growing Up is Hard to Do: C- The Big Mac Question: A+ The Ending of the End: C The Last Problem: A ———
    Specials/Movies:
    My Little Pony: The Movie: C Best Gift Ever: C+ Rainbow Roadtrip: B  
    Equestria Girls:
    My Little Pony: Equestria Girls: F- The Fall of Sunset Shimmer: A- MLP Annual #1: C- My Little Pony: Equestria Girls — Rainbow Rocks: D Equestria Girls Holiday Special: F- My Little Pony: Equestria Girls — Friendship Games: F+ My Little Pony: Equestria Girls — Legend of Everfree: C-  
    Dance Magic: C Movie Magic: C- Mirror Magic: D- Forgotten Friendship: C ———
    Rainbow Rocks Shorts:
    Music to My Ears: A Guitar Centered: C Hamstocalypse Now: C Pinkie on the One: D+ Player Piano: C- A Case for the Bass: B- Shake Your Tail!: C- Perfect Day for Fun: D  
    Life Is a Runway: A My Past Is Not Today: A Friendship Through the Ages: A  
    Main Comic Series:
    (Individual issues and overall arc are graded separately.)
    The Return of Queen Chrysalis: B
    a. Part 1: B+
    b. Part 2: C-
    c. Part 3: B
    d. Part 4: B Nightmare Rarity: F
    a. Part 1: D-
    b. Part 2: D
    c. Part 3: D-
    d. Part 4: F Zen and the Art of Gazebo Repair: B+
    a. Part 1: B+
    b. Part 2: A- Neigh Anything: B
    a. Part 1: B-
    b. Part 2: B My Little Pirate: Friendship Ahoy: D
    a. Part 1: C
    b. Part 2: D+ The Bookworm: C-
    a. Part 1: D
    b. Part 2: C Reflections: F
    a. Part 1: D+
    b. Part 2: D-
    c. Part 3: F
    d. Part 4: F Manehattan Mysteries: A-
    a. Part 1: A-
    b. Part 2: A- The Good, the Bad, and the Ponies: F-
    a. Part 1: F-
    b. Part 2: F- Siege of The Crystal Empire: F-
    a. Part 1: D
    b. Part 2: F
    c. Part 3: F-
    d. Part 4: F- *The main comics have been so bad, until they clean up, I refuse to read them again.
    ———
    Micro-Series:
    Twilight Sparkle: F+ Rainbow Dash: F- Rarity: B+ Fluttershy: F- Pinkie Pie: A Applejack: D+ Cutie Mark Crusaders: A- Princess Celestia: B- Spike: C- Princess Luna: C ———
    Friends Forever:
    Pinkie Pie & Applejack: F Cutie Mark Crusaders & Discord: B Spike & Princess Celestia: C- Twilight Sparkle & Shining Armor: B Fluttershy & Zecora: A Rainbow Dash & Trixie: C+ Pinkie Pie & Princess Luna: A- Rarity & Applejack: D+ Rarity & Babs Seed: B Rainbow Dash & Soarin': A I wound up growing uninterested in reading Friends Forever, hence the short list.
  19. Dark Qiviut
    Twenty years ago yesterday, famed Peanuts comic illustrator and writer Charles Schulz passed away from cancer at 77 years of age. The following day, his last strip (created well in advance) circulated the papers.


    Now twenty years since his last comic strip, Schulz’s lasting legacy remains firm, and Peanuts remains iconic for both young and old.
  21. Dark Qiviut
    Note: A chunk of this analysis is credited to a YouTube comment from Plume from the featured video.

    Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory is one of the most nostalgic and memorable live-action musical films in the Americas. The wonders (and frights) of the chocolate factory, the songs, the large array of characters, and sets are fantastic. But one set that resonates so well is the climax.
    Early in the film, Grandpa Joe and he snuck a sip of fizzy-lifting drinks, which caused them to fly above the ground, almost causing them to get maimed by the ceiling fan. Because of this mistake, Willy Wonka (who smoked a cigar as they walked into his office) disqualified Charlie in the angriest, most heartwrenching way imaginable. Yelled at to the point of tears, where Grandpa Joe (who lived in the same poor household as Charlie) and who so wanted his grandson to grow into a man away from poverty grew angry and vengeful, vowing to give Slugworth that everlasting gobstopper.
    Immediately, Charlie Bucket is hit with a moral dilemma. Out of all the children, he's the kindest, most selfless, and humblest. In his years of poverty, he grew into someone who cared less for himself and more for those around him. He has his mother's kindness, grandpa's selflessness, and family's humble (yet ragged) life. Willy Wonka has the life that he doesn't: a great factory with a marvelous population of Oompa-Loopas that were free from a gluttonous life. His reputation is spotless and will remain so once the tour ends. Throughout the whole tour, he cared for their well-beings despite not seeing them for a long time, such as Augustus. Once he steps out of Wonka's office, he and his family will successfully leave their cabin and poverty behind. And with how Wonka shut them out, who can blame him?
    Instead, he does something much more worthy than money: not stick to revenge or a selfish sense of justice. He walks back to the bitter man and gives him back his gobstopper, sacrificing every bit of fortune he could've had seconds ago. He lost his lifetime supply of chocolate and fortune, but didn't cave to something greater: his kindness. He didn't want to earn a fortune bitter and angry and hoped Mr. Wonka wouldn't feel the same back to Charlie.
    The end result?
    Wonka revealing the whole yelling exchange to be a setup for one last test: whether Charlie will be bitter and vengeful once he leaves the factory or not. "Slugworth" was a close Wonka confidant. Not just the chocolate, but the whole factory. The factory is his new home. Willy Wonka looked for the "perfect" child to trust once he retires. Charlie Bucket succeeded every test, including the ones that looked easy on the surface yet difficult to solve.
    This line is extraordinarily powerful.
    *gives crowd a box of tissues*
    This was the line that changed the movie's whole direction and tone, but also signifies what Wonka was looking for. He lived and worked in his factory throughout his entire life. As great as it is to make a chocolate empire, he can't live such a life forever. Someone will have to succeed, and who better than, in his words, a very honest, loving child who he can trust once he leaves. The golden tickets were an invitation to see who can pass his tests, and if you observe, every room and artifact is a test for each kid.
    The chocolate room, edible from the top on down. Augustus's gluttony caused him to fail his test. The three-course gum that was still in development. Violet's obsession with gum caused her to have an emergency operation. The golden-egg room, home of the finest geese and eggs around the world. Veruca's lust for an exclusive animal and spoiled behavior when Wonka rejected Mr. Salt's offer caused her to fail hers. The Wonkavision room is the home of new TV-to-product technology. Mike's greed for fame meant needing to be stretched. Everything in Wonka's office is cut in half, closely relating to Charlie's half-empty, incomplete life. Charlie passed his test, the only one to do so. For how dark the world can be, sparkles of joy live throughout the world. Charlie represents that joy.
  24. Dark Qiviut
    Digimon Adventure/02's American dubs infamously inserted jokes that aged so poorly that they soured before they aired on Fox Kids. But whenever it got serious, nine out of ten times did they not pull punches. When the partner of the former Digimon Emperor (Ken Ichijouji) disintegrated, it brought back horrifying memories of Ken watching his older brother getting fatally run over. Two episodes later, he got his own introspective, as he finally returned home after running away.
    Genesis of Evil was equal parts heartbreaking and heartwarming. Despite getting the welcomed news that Wormmon and all other digimon don't technically die, the fact that Ken abused him and so many other Digimon over the years made him worry that Wormmon won't want him back or give him a second chance. His visit to the Primary Village is his first since abandoning his villainous alter ego.
    This is where it gets to my top moment of the whole season in the season's best episode: reminiscing the time where he visited the DigiWorld for the first time, he promises to be the kind and gentle Ken that Wormmon likes and wants back.
     
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