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Cimarronboy

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Blog Entries posted by Cimarronboy

  1. Cimarronboy
    Turns out what one psychologist diagnosed as autism is now actually PTSD, Anxiety, and Depression. Good news I totally know where it came from and am taking some big steps to dealing with the diagnoses just by guessing and tiny amounts of research. Bad news one part of getting myself better means I have to drop a few of my interests and give my personality an overhaul. It's to help me not be so controlled by the defensive tendencies of the ptsd/anxiety. In my case things that I use to avoid/try to prevent or end with with as tools or actions, and mlp has contributed to that proverbial belt. Unfortunately it's tearing a good size hole right through me. Some things I really connected with and it's tough to wanna part with them even though it's to better my mental emotional health. I swear all that goes on mentally is circling a proverbial drain just because of how upset losing the things I love is making me and how worried I am about how my personality will be after I'm not suffering from the mental illnesses.
  2. Cimarronboy
    There are two songs that pin exactly what my anger is like. "Animal I Have Become" by Three Days Grace and "Monster" by Skillet. When I listen to them I can feel the hope of being rid of it but I also feel the despair of it existing. Somewhere between there's the primal bloodthirst and anger itself wanting to be set free. Normally I don't listen to them for that reason but tonight I'm diving head first and hoping to drown. When my temper is in control those songs titles can't be more literal. The lyrics themselves define my exact thoughts and emotions concerning the subject of my temper.
     
    Anywho tonight I've decided that if, given the chance I was born to be "evil", that maybe fighting for control of my anger was a waste of time and energy and that I should just let the kind me die off and let the monster deep inside that is my anger have my body and be free to use it however it sees fit.
     
    Everywhere I turn in life there's always darkness or something that upsets me or angers me. I can't escape no matter what I do or where I turn to. Instead I'm giving up the fight. That's not to say I'm gonna go to the extremes but it is saying that from now on that anypony that wrongs me in any way is going to be informed so, vocally, in a not very nice way, Do unto others will be one of my mantras.
     
    The cause of all this? Life so far, people in my life, conditions of my life. Tonights cause of thirst? the fact that my best buddy is letting his "gf" rule over him. I mean think chryssy and shining armor but with humans instead and not magic but control through manipulation of emotions and thoughts using words. She's skilled enough that he left his family after her mouth got her kicked out for being disrespectful to the household and it's occupants.
     
    Tonight that cheeselegged chihuahua tore after my ankles because I didn't go to a demo derby with them. My reasoning for such is that his mother went into the er for a kidney infection (didn't know at the time). We didn't get home til 2 am. I decided that since I didn't know how long I'd be asleep for (4 or less hours the previous night plus a day full of heavy beephobia action, heat problems and dehydration along with my jerk of a stepdad being his stereotypical self) that I wouldn't go. I woke up in time to go but only because my body (damnable bathroom breaks) woke me and pretty much ruined their day when they happened to call.
     
    So now my former bro told me he's done with me. Doesn't help she's pulling the strings and basically not letting him and I solve this as two adults. My reaction is pretty much the same as any animals; you mess MY family AND MY terf and then have the gall to bark challeneges to me in a cowardly fashion over facebook? Why not finish crossing the boundary line and face me head on. IF and WHEN she doe's I'mma vocally tear into her so fierce. She takes it farther than that it's on her. Anypony tries to step in they'll be warned not to once. After that they'll also be on the verbal receiving end.
     
    As for equestria I've had a few calm days to relax and I've used every night to sit out on top of carousel and think. Unfortunately sometime in the night rare decides she's not going to sleep with me brooding out on the roof. She'll literally drag my zoned out carcass to bed and breakfast time the next morning I'll wake up right on my usual pillow. What I'm brooding about? A way to return to my herd and my kingdom, and the fact that I'll stand out from the herd because of my lack of my spirit. The birth of kiara's and mine's brother the prince and how I won't possibly be there and how angry that'll make a few certain female, and the fact that despite being used to the whole hero thing I've forgotten to check for and "soldiers" from certain forces of enemies I used to fight being in equestria.
     
    Anywho I'm gonna go pace and let the monsterous animal or the animalistic monster get some much needed fresh air before he decides to do so himself.
  3. Cimarronboy
    Been a while since I've done this but this is research restricted so it's not gonna be my usual...
     

    Attempted to find out a place to WATCH a video series involving random characters thrown together in the title with adventures. Asked here since I've known a few other forums that take questions as posts, and the only answer I got (somewhat my fault for not specifying my wish to VIEW ACTUAL EPISODES) was a link to the sight that had sparked my interest in the first place in a somewhat demeaning manner (forgiven due to my mistake to not specify but still) followed by an admin killing the thread and informing me about how question and answer rounds are only threads in specific ways before I could fix my error and possibly get the answer I needed.So now I'm pretty much stuck in square one; wanting to see the vids I asked about yet unable to obtain any decent source or info leading to a decent source of viewing them and no way to rectify the issue.
     

    So, with a high level of doubt that anypony with the info I'm looking for, a site containing the vids of the show "thomas, twilight, and others' adventures" or w/e, in a watchable form or a link to a place that will supply the vids in watchable form for free, I ask if anyone can help me appease my curiosity.
  4. Cimarronboy
    It's getting to be a while with these things (does anypony eve read these?). Anywho things in Midgard (earth) are really starting to be the water to my rock. There's been death, failures abound (the fact I'm a scorpio auto makes the failures ten times worse being we're afraid of failure, hence the deep dips I've been taking in the proverbial depression well). I've lost 3 relatives in the span of two/three months. I've had to attend three funerals and a burial. Good news I got to see some family I see less than I see my workplace (lay about, I have no workspace), Bad news I found out I'm an empath. So beneath the biblical sized tsunami of emotional pain from everyone around me, my step's attitude toward me (I'm dumb, worthless, etc), and mine own emotions, divided amoung mourning and feeling bad at letting people down, and the hulk like temper, I think I don't have much left before I start living in my bed, barely waking for anything. Literally all I feel right now is that I'm worthless as a son and brother because of event's that happened last year. Having premonitions and being an empath is more hazardous to my mental health than helpful. I really need to leave the area for a while, bad enough to where it's a mental lifesaver, just for the enjoyment and break it'll bring. Hopefully a promised trip to ciderfest will be just the thing, especially with tabby there. Dream come true, yet double edged blade.
     

    On the other side;
    Equestrian ranger, tried it, no call for the mechs, save it for something bigger. Twi was responsible for this one. A spell she was using on a plant got out of hoof, and struck a pack of timbers, quadrupling their number. Morphed, used the three forms and weapons (Uni/staff, earth/hammer, peg/ feather) to take them down. the number dwindled when they went king. Used alicorn form (combined main ranger form) and alicannon to dust them as well. The number dwindled again as they became one really big high king timber (my name for a second king timber form) and it was as big as a dragon. Called the mechs (E,U,P), went mega (alicorn mega), dusted the timber for good. Think I'll stow that and the rest of the "artifacts" away until either a dragon swarm or some villain has an ego that matches their growth rate.
     
    While both diplomat training for the sisters (they refuse to give me a reason for schooling me on politics, etiquette, and resources) and running off to deter a group of wolf like creatures just south of the yakistani border, I happened to miss a couple big events for my 'mallows. Rare's store opening in the capitol, sisterhooves social, the crusadoers getting their marks, (with the side miracle of Tiara becoming good). Had to make it up with the girls. Made up with Rare and swibbs, though I still have to win back bloom and scoot.
     

    Now I must go see to some research as well as get ready for the dream diplo training the sisters and I have set up while away from Canterlot. Maybe go seek some advice across the looking glass.
  5. Cimarronboy
    So things here in the physical plane haven't been too well lately. My willies have driven me to wondering whether or not they're as much of a warning as I thought. The first week they put three guys in the hospital, killed a dog, and brought a littler of kittens to the world while I was away with a broken down vehicle. The second week they killed a cat and caused several more er visits for just one guy. This week saw two deaths, a heart attack with emergency surgery and my mom having an allergic reaction to medicine, all while I was barely able to be reached (no working phones but the web was on). Again wondering if they are actually heads up. The main cause of my suspicion is one er visit. Everytime I had a bout of willies the guy I was there with worsened in condition. I twitch with a bout of willies and bad stuff happens. Too often to be coincidence and too person specific to be random. Pretty much I'm fighting the well of depression, think I've stabilized for now since I haven't worsened nor felt any happier.
     
    Good news is I'm actually getting caught up on Power Rangers. I've watched all the newer seasons (spd to dino charge) I missed and am now re-watching the older stuff (MMPR to Dino thunder) to catch any episodes I missed. Loving most of the themes as most actually fit the season. So far the most powerful (other than the original) is Jungle Fury's theme.
     
     
     
    On the other side of things, other than the events of my last two chapters I've been thinking about hanging up the cape. Should say I was. Still not sure though, mainly cause of things on the human side of life. Then again I've been doing some research on an old show. The music has been getting to me lately. By getting to me I mean I feel the juice almost as strongly as I felt Hail/Shepherd. 'FURY's theme has really been connecting. I'm thinking a costume of their style. As for a weapon I'm thinking a reversal of tradition. Instead of multiple becoming one big weapon, one big one splitting into three. The Alicorn cannon will be made up of the "Earth Mallet", "Peg Bow" and "Uni Staff". Same with the mechs. The "Alicorn Ultra" will be made up of the "Earth", Pegasus", and "Unicorn" mechs, each with their own battle forms. As for a vehicle I'm thinking an "Earth atv", "Peg glider" and "Uni bike" with all three becoming the battle mode accessories. I've even got the character's back story figured out; I steal the costume from rare, after she finishes it of course, and then boom sudden appearence of new character which I will dub the Equus.R. If you haven't guessed with all the info I've given what the "r" stands for I'll give you another hint; When I right about him on the human side I'll have to credit saban. Anywho I'm off to go figure out how I'm gonna control three "z"'s at once. I don't think that's been done in the line of earth's defenders.
  6. Cimarronboy
    So it's been quite some time since I last blogged. I can explain why. The laptop I was using was usurped and hoarded by it's owners daughter. She claims it like Sombre claims the Crystal Empire, (or more exact, like Smaug claims Erebor and all the dwarven gold within). That left me without a properly working gateway to the web. That is now over due to some minor good luck in an existence of bad. All I'm gonna say is child runs the house, momma is too afraid to stand up yet too protective to let others, and me, mr. bleedin heart (soon to have that removed and replaced with something more metallic, as well as destroy all sleeves from my wardrobe), in the middle trying to right the injustices, support and protect everyone, and doing about as good a job at it as a one legged dog herding sheep. In the immortal words of Jim "I'd rather not talk about it".
     
     
    Equestria on the other hoof has not been kind.
     
    It all began with a dream reflecting upon a memory. I was back with my herd and pride. I was told by both dads that I would inherit leadership. I denied both and passed it to the next in line. Memories of classes I've taken, my fantasy of being alpha of a raptor pack, group leaders I wanted to be as a kid, all broke in at this moment. All of this awoke me in a cold sweat. Thinking back to the notification of my inherited roles I felt a yearning to accept. At first I blamed it as a new symptom of home sickness. The more thought it was given the less I was convinced so. One night, while recovering from a terrible event (more on that later), I went to a room in the Canterlot castle where royal treasures were on display. I managed to remove a crown and tried it on in front of the nearest reflective surface. What I'd seen upset me greatly. Later, when I was back in the hospital wing, I was granted access to all the regalia a king would traditionally wear. I put it on and stood in front of a mirror for all in attendance to see. While Tia and Rare discussed my looks I removed the wear and jumped out a window while wings formed. My flight was cut short by a flock off birds looking for a bug to dine on. I woke up sometime after Lulu had rescued me from the flock and proceeded to quarrel with her. A few days later we me at an in door training are. We sparred and then I explained why I had been so rude. Seeing myself in an item like that, that signified such a role, proved to me that being a leader must be destined. Then again why do I get the same feeling from music related activity.
     
    Concerning the terrible event; Long story short, there was a boat, a volcanic island, shining armor, and pirates, The most terrible part was when I had to hold back a wall of lava (literally stall an eruption) with only little reserve energy. I saved what was left of the Equestrian crew but the volcano still erupted. Technically I was liquified by lava when my energy was fully drained. Technically because I was saved by a deity. For days we talked before she returned me to my body. I was questioned about the experience by everypony privy to the deity's existence. Unfortunately the energy I'd been saved by left me having to earn back my powers one by one, being stuck with only jutsu and my alicorn forme.
     
    Got out of the hospital wing just in time to stop a timber pack from running amok in Manehatten. Shortly after I bumped into a strange town, lost both layers of my mark (one to keep my powers from fading, the other for my alicorn forme), and only gained the later back. This means I'm stuck as an alicorn, limited more by now having to use only Equestrian spells and such. Something I'm not so used to.
     
    Went to the ruins in the Everfree to study up on spells as well as calm from my frustration at being so limited. Ended up getting a visitor whom kept an eye on me and promised to tutor me. She almost got me in trouble when my marefriend found us. Tutor left to gather tea and breakfast, marefriend stayed to wake me. Moral of the story? If you and a friend use each other's backs for pillows, never say the words "(friends name) you better be kissing me in your sleep because of a dream or else ther's going to be trouble" when your significant other is being lovable to wake you up. You just might wind up being torn after around some castle ruins, igniting your spirit, and heading into the forest until you pass out from your spirit fizziling out.
  7. Cimarronboy
    Alright so I've been a bit busier than usual and haven't been able to get online much, save for late at night where I do my fanfic, typing a shorter somewhat spinoff to my main Equestrian story.
     
     
    Anywho I've had two other ideas floating around in my head.
     
    The first a "My Little Rarity" story where a shrunken Rare shows up not far from my current location, and I have to take care of her until a way home is either found or made. It'd be kind of a short story, maybe just a one chapter piece with a journal entry like structure based upon one like in the dashie vid. Unfortunately I have only so much of it in my head (basically discovery, and a home coming area (where I bring Rare back and attempt to get her settled in her new temporary home, including a small bathroom scene (sfw as I'm a gentleman by nature and respect ladies)).
     
     
     
    The other idea I got from revisiting my past (no thanks to the crap I deal with on a daily basis causing my mind to revert a bit when things get UBER bad). There was a show I used to watch as a kid (would kinda explain the undiscoverd love for Equestria and it's inhabitants). The show has plenty of similarities (i.e. the main three items in the show are a sun, moon, and a heart, as are the three older Equestrian Princesses, Various talking equines of varying species (mainly uni and alicorns), etc). I've been quite a bit curious as to the connections between the planes of ???? and Equestria and was sort of thinking about doing a journal like story concerning my oc traveling to the anonymous plane and doing firsthand research there while participating in local historical events there. On the other hand, with a small bit of curiousity, I've found a second plane that may be linked with Equestria through the various talking equine species and specific artifacts and was also thinking about researching (and adding that one to the fic) that one as well.
     
    I'll give you clues to the sources of inspiration just to make it more.... interactive.
     
    The first plane was a girls cartoon back in the early nineties with mythical medievil names on most of the characters based around a specific wizard and those of his relation (storyline wise), that was about a symbiotic relationship between animals, humans, and gem stones and had a theme of friendship.
     
    The second is a card game for girls (sexist seeing as how the creatures at center can be liked by both genders or are cowboys called such because they mainly used cows (other than wagon pulling) as their main source of transport and and did not boys/young men of the western era not grow up loving creatures called horses?... point guys can like equines too!) about an Equestria like world again with a theme of friendship and a peaceful coexistence between people and animals. The cards had codes to a game like website that brought the magical world of the card game to life.
     
     
    The other night I had a dark dream. It ended with my marefriend trying to comfort me holding me as a more primal version of me bit and clawed at her trying to escape her grasp. It had started with some worries, increased by other recent events, as they were bothering me. Things increasingly worsened until I reached a dark point where I did some things, emotionally driven, and then went into a sort of voluntary coma where I spent the rest of my life in Equestria. Feeling the darkness rise within me Luna had me weakened to nothing more than my spirit and put me in a semi-conscious state, After a few days the royals awoke me to test my state of mind out. Rare volunteered to try consoling me and that's where my fear driven form began attacking her. Dream ended there with her saying comforting things as she cried holding me.
     
     
     
     
    As for elsewhere:
    Yeah.... researching connections is hard. I've tried most of the libraries except one. The one on the castle in the capitol. I've made several..... not so permissed, attempts to enter that very library, specifically the wing named after my favorite wizard. The latest one ended with royal shoe polishing duty as well as a warning that one more attempt and I'll actually end up in the dungeons. That is actually quite a shocker given my destructive, violent, emotional, aspergers fueled history, that has given any of the princesses the (justifiable and undoubtable reasons) to hang me upside down behind bars, Why they haven't I'll never know.
  8. Cimarronboy
    So here in tartarus on earth the holidays have thankfully come and gone. Interestingly this year I was able to get through the holidays without having to endure the usual drama of a warzone. The rest of the time though well S.C.D.D.
     
    I've begun a new project while waiting for s5. It's a bit of a tribute work to a gen 2 creator and her characters. The events are as happens just like the rest of my "stories". Hopefully this one will be a short kind of side story instead of the novel I'm trying to get done.
     
    The other night I witnessed a situation turn into utter chaos. It bothers me so because one person involved put another in a restraining hold because the second was overly upset and a danger to herself or others if she didn't calm down. Unfortunately when this happened my mind reacted to it as if I were back watching my mom and step dad get violent with each other. I KNOW that what happened was a good thing but can't figure why it bothers me as if it were extremely otherwise.
     
     
     
     
    Speaking of my other forced home....
     
    You won't believe this crap; I was being attacked, judiciously, by a group of residents that didn't like the fact that saving their lives meant possible property damage.
     
    It was a two court circus. Both aunts were as shocked as I was and tried to solve the matter without having to waste court time. Needless to say the idea failed. So I basically had to defend myself against the fact that stuff gets destroyed when an opponent throws one into it. Not exactly a fair fight. Sunbumm almost went solar on some of the more adamant and vocal pursuers. It took a worm chewing through the mountain to get the case aborted. Pathetic if you ask me.
     
    Other than that I had a certain brown stallion approach me with a task. Apparently there's a timestream that's going to go out if I don't teach a young kirin how to properly defend herself. Crazy bit of insanity right there.
     
    I also took a bit of initiative to get myself yelled at by mrs. cupid of the crystal empire. She told me that a ring, symbolizing my claim on my marefriend, was the worst idea possible and that despite true love that I should've proposed. I'd rather wait a bit longer to make sure that nothing will pull us apart before I popped the question (plus it'd give me a chance to get the materials I want in the ring gathered and the ring made). Anywho I'm off to make snowcones for the house and then put a young lady to bed.
  9. Cimarronboy

    Aftermath

    By Cimarronboy,

    So the dread day is over. Thank faust it was a bit less disturbed than ut used to be. I was still disturbed a bit but it usually is a lot worse. People still plan on celebrating but I'm just gonna take a shell and go zombie for it. Masks everywhere just so that others are happy.
     
    Pretty much all my party was was a cheap cake (a bit big for just three people, a cupcake would have sufficed and no cake would have been the proverbial icing), some ice cream that we already had in the freezer, and the bagged gift. I received a horse calender, an mlp play pack (stickers, coloring book with four crayons (so much for accuracy other than Dash's mane, I'm 25, no art skill whatsoever, and I receive that kiddy of a gift? hoof it next year let's have a whole mlp party..... jk I really would rather NOT celebrate my birthday)) and a two pack of 8gig thumbdrives, and my step dad actually being decent for once with his attitude (best gift other than the usbs).
     
    Not exactly the 2ds and fully paid preorder of alpha sapphire I'd love but I'm not gonna complain. I only wish more people could go the day without remembering or others reminding them.
     
     
    Today started out pretty easy, until a newer hercules movie came on. The movie itself was pretty decent as far as greek mythology goes, had some pretty heartbreaking loves scenes (mainly the one where the creet princess continues telling the tyran prince that no matter what he does to his brother herc, she'll alway love herc, (i.e. "If you make him but a memory, I shall love only that memory until the day the gods take me")).
     
     
    Wasn't that what got to me, it was the action. The movie would have been perfect if both "My Songs Know What You Did In The Dark (Light 'Em Up)" and "Centuries" were playing in the background. That's where the problem begins. Lately I've been getting massive charges out of those two songs. By massive I mean equal to that of "Hail To The King/Shepherd Of Fire".
     
    Hero Factor, the Equestrian version of my o.c. was born from the latter mashup. With this new mashup taking center It makes me wonder about the fate of H.F. and if the fact that "Hail" went dark during the whole "dazzlings" bit.
     
    During the couple of weeks of movie hype I found myself listening mostly to the dazzlings' songs. Mainly cuz the energy reminds me too much of "Voodoo", That's not a good thing as that specific godsmack song is one of the most powerful entrancers known. Having more songs like that means a wider range of really bad outcomes.
     
    In this "state" I was constantly coming up with dark setlists for a battle of the bands scenario and even twisted a few songs to a more, grim, type of effect. ex: Hail is usually something that empowers and inspires, dazzled it becomes more of a fear and obey. H.F. Hail is more of a "Do not fret as your king is here for the good of the people", whereas dazzled Hail is more "I am your king obey me of I'll have you hung" kinda thing. Either way not good,
     
     
    Other than that I've been thinking about doing a chapter (or a few) concerning a certain un-surgical surgeon and this character I feel a strong connection to who happens to be a spare creation known as claire. Of course before I get much further than the storyline playing in my head (putting it to data/paperwise) I'll have to do some permission seeking from their creator. I just wanna know if others would like to see that in my 'fic.
     
     
     
     
     
    Elsewhere (across the interplaner boundary lines):
     
    Pinks had her party. Nopony was happy that they had to persuade me like they did but how could it have been forced if I let them have every bit of the fun. I coulda escaped any time I wanted, after all I am the adopted son of one of the most spirited horses in history.
     
    Anywho I behaved myself as I was released from my cage. I laughed, smiled, danced, and partied. I got accepted the gifts given to me by those in attendance. I got a book, some royal regalia, a new gaming console and games, a new set of armor and an armory's worth of weapons to go with it, fashioned out of the best crystal, tickets to a 'bolts show, a couple bottles of cider (one from the special stock), 'shy sang, pinkie brought some family members of the planer state lines, and a new tux ensemble with gem accents, and a fancy honorary crusader album (also as thanks for teaching the tikes how to rock).
     
     
    I still owe everypony involved for their trouble. I figure when the weather patrol brings a good, deep, snow to the valley that I'l invite everyone to the bottom of a steep hill and bury 'em in snow just like I used to do at home for my annual winter prank. It's gotta be extra deep just so I can make sure the royal aunts and custer (cousin/sister) in law get as buried as the rest.... including the marefriend, whether she's a lady or not.
     
     
     
    I guess that's all for tonight as I've got a bit of business with the most confusing entity in existence. He finally caught up to me and demanded my audience. I was avoiding him for the longest time knowing he'd get into my origin and start a chat about time/space that'd end up giving me one hoofer of a headache. Just thinking about "allonsey" and the millions of possible conversations is giving me a headache as we speak..... I think I'll just go catch me a little shoulder action and nap away my current headache before getting the bigger one.
  10. Cimarronboy

    Is It Over Yet?

    By Cimarronboy,

    Been awhile since I last added an entry. Not much happened other than had the whole Hero Frozen Factor thing cleared. Been too busy typing and editing.
     
    Anywho been depressed recently. Started with the fact that my hourglass on age 24 is winding down. It is nigh less than 24 hrs until the unfortunate day I was born.
     
    I hate that day for many reasons. It reminds me that I'm one step closer to the reapers door, many people in my life have made that event feel like a mistake, my anger problem makes me question wether or not I should exist, etc, etc. I really don't care, I just want it over.
     
    The other thing that killed my mood was Advanced Warfare. I played the campaign and got deep enough emotionally into to set my spirit ablaze. That felt too good. As it burned out so did my mood for the night. I'm so used to it being on all the time and since earlier this year this empty hole that randomly gets filled and emptied like a sink is pretty depressing.
     
    I had a dream that night that I was back in the place where my spirit burned brightest. Everyone there was being attacked and nothing I could do could save them. Luna showed up and instead of accepting her help and waking, I chased her off.
     
    I told her that it was MY dream, MY unconsciosness, MY home, MY duty to defend. Lulu left and I let the darkest part of my mind reign which served only to make things worse. The next day I was pretty much a zombie that responded to electronics that were in front of me.
     
    Anywho I'm over that but still kinda down about the b-day.
     
     
     
     
     
     
    Elsewhere:
     
    Same Crep. Different Plane.
     
    Went through a month of being H.F.F., got to spend time with the kids, and now I'm caged. Betrayed by everypony close to me in this plane.
     
    Somehow Pie had got wind of my b-day. The rest of the gang, including my M.F. hatched a scheme to prevent me from taking off just so a party can be had. I shoulda known better than to have stayed as long as I had within a civilized bit of turf.
     
    Right now we're in 'Lot and my cage is under lock and key just to make sure none of my bonds comes and inadvertantly let's me escape. Not even the princesses themselves are allowed to get within my prison cell of a guest room unless the party is about to start or there's an extreme emergency.
     
    It's ironic how they've nulliied every bit of power I have, excluding my spiirit, and yet they fear letting me loose. They treat me like they would otherwise but with tons of eyes on me. They know how smart I am and how instinctual my mind is.
     
    It's for the best though. Somehow Pinks woulda gotten me to celebrate anyway, wether I liked it or not. Cursed soft heart of mine woulda folded at those puppy dog eyes she gives and that woulda been the end of it, unless I resisted to the point of hurting her emotionally but I'd still have caved.
     
    Nopony likes having to entrap as they did. Rare's taking it the hardest. I could see it in those bottomless sapphire pools of hers. Every time somepony comes to check they always look like a kid who has to give their dog to a shelter.
     
    It's okay though I ain't too upset with them. I can be VERY patient if the situation calls for it. I will avenge my imprisonment. I'll bury each and every one of them in an avalanch of snow just like I used to do back in the valley for my yearly winter prank. That'll show 'em....
     
    Anywho I'mm go back to plotting my revenge and enjoying the re-opening of the emotional wounds while I wait for this Faust forsaken day is over.....
  11. Cimarronboy
    So Sunday night here in Wisconsin I was listening to the song that currently is trickier than trying to convince Lyra not to disect the first human to ever appear in Equestria. I'd had kind of a rough day and was feeling slightly dark. As I sat wishing for a way to escape the darkness that continually envelopes my I felt a sudden change in the song's energy signifying that I'd figured out the song's riddle. "Let It Go" is a transitional/ rebellious/moving foreward song!
     
    Monday night I was driven into an even darker mood when I felt a similar energy change while thinking about my fanfic. An idea crept into my mind that I had to work on immediately. One ba based plane jump and return trip later, I had all the information needed to introduce a new character.... one that I'd become.
     
    Fanfic wise I plan on doing an intro chapter in the form of an origin story but I'm not sure whether or not I should do side story based on the character. Admittedly he is inspired by the ice queen responsible for the above song and his story is similar but there are differences. Where she is human, limited with her powers, creates a castle of ice on top of a mountain, and has a warm heart, my character is alicorn, my old powers somewhat adapted to the coldness running through my veins, creates a castle in mountain caves, and has a heart solid and unforgiving as the frozen tundra. The ice queen also had her powers from birth and was turned dark by accident where N.F.F. used musical energy to focus the icy darkness within and bring it outward as well as chose to be evil after countless emotional pains, both past and present, became too much for him to bear.
     
    Elsewhere: As soon as I awoke from my physical form's time on earth I took action. I knew I'd have to figure out a spell to make the song's effect more potent. Quietly I left the bedroom and moved to my basement lab to do some planning.
     
    I didn't want to remember anything that had happened up to the point where I would use whatever spell I found combined with the song's energy to change my form. All the time I'd spent here, every event, life, moment I'd had a part in would become nothing but a memory to all those I'd shared them with. Doing so would mean hiding my past form from those who would seek to return me to it.
     
    After an hour I had a plan. I would seek a power draining spell from sometaur who recently attempted a hostile takeover with one, literally making a deal with a devil. I'd use a fight against a night predator as cover to enact my plan. After that there'd be no evidence of where I'd gone nor what I'd become.
     
    I left a message to my marefriend using a single song (separate ways, something both of us had used as part of our love connection), kissed her on her forehead in a way that wouldn't wake her, then took off out the window on the silent wings of an owl.
     
    I made a beeline for the entrance to the cave leading into Tartarus. The guard dog sensed my pack rank and instantly side stepped to allow me passage. Inside I spoke to the one whom I'd seek a spell from, offering that if we were to meet on the field of battle as foes that I'd be less of a nuisance than I was previously. He gave me the spell and off I went to tangle with the nearest threat to a city.
     
    Ironically a manticore was nearing the edge of a nearby forest. I thoughtspoke to the one normally responsible for handling such a situation and dove to intercept. The battle was a quick one. As the sun came up I use the spell and song to freeze both the manticore and myself, as well as drain my powers and my memories and one human form.
     
    Minutes after the inst-freeze my frozen form shattered. Instead of freezing through and ending up a mixture of liquid human I ended exiting the icy form like a butterfly from a cocoon. Dragonic wings and eyes, regalia similar to the once fear Nightmare Moon's, and shades of white and blue resembling the icy heart I'd had grown. Cliche yes but admittedly it was something brilliant.
     
    I lifted off with the song starting over and headed north toward the mountains near the Crystal Empire. Finding a decent spot I entered a cave and began making my own additions. Soon a network of caves molded under my icy influence to form what I'd like to call a "cavestle". Here I'll remain, far from any who'd wish to melt my heart and turn me friendly once again. I shall now only serve to cause mayhem and panic among the equines. Any and all who approach my new home will be warned to vacate or if failing, become garden party decorations.
     
    All shall hear my moniker and fear NIGHTMARE FROZEN FACTOR!
  12. Cimarronboy

    Fanfics and Musicals

    By Cimarronboy,

    Oct 13 1 am;
     
    It's been quite quiet lately. Found out that a second relative has died, not even a week from the previous. Taking it in stride somehow. Finally had work on my fanfic begin. Two chapters have been proofread and edited but that's only the prologue and chapter one, still the rest to go. That doesn't include adding the comic book arcs into the story as well as season five. Still not sure whether or not to add the comics.
     
    Other than that I've been completely entranced by a song from a movie I recently seen. Everypony has probably heard of "Let It Go" of Disney's Frozen fame. For some reason I have yet to have found an exact.... definition to that song. I can feel something strong flowing from it but have yet to figure out the piece of the puzzle that'll let me harness the song and use it.
     
    The glorified fish singers aren't helping either. Welcome To The Show (a.k.a. the battle of the bands finals scene) has been running around my head just as much as queen elsa's tune. That song that defines "battle of the bands" is quite addictive on the energy charts. The strongest parts I've noticed are "feel the wave of sound", the part where the 'booms interrupt the sirens, the reply from the sirens, and basically from the time the last unicorn joins in to the end. Strong stuff by any means.
     
    Elsewhere: There has been a few nights of a moon as bright as the sun. Upon inspection it was both a very happy aunt and part of a bet to see whether or not I'd go visit the royal aunts to investigate.
     
    Last night while taking the time to research the song mentioned above something quite... adorable happened. I was lost in the meditative trance I use when studying music. I'd taken my research up onto a certain beauty parlor's roof in order not to disturb anypony. While in that trance I'd gotten relaxed enough to where I was practically half asleep. My marefriend joined me after finding my pillow empty and decided to bring me in for the night. As soon as I was in her grasp I practically concked out. Curse my sense of comfort around those I've bonded with.
     
    Pretty much I stick to researching that song whenever I have some alone time to think. I've been at it for around a month now. Funny thing is, thanks to those singing contest winner wannabees I was able to find a few darker effects to songs I've come to heavily rely on.
     
    As for those alternate plane dreams I've been having, I'm up to the point between the ggg and my first match with Equestria's version of apophis. The captain of the guard came back early and instead of being angry with my attempts to "hide out" he decided to use me as a sparring partner. I taught him though when I used his sneak attack against him.
     
    He came from above and behind and did a couple slashes with a blade. I flopped over looney tunes filet style and played dead. After a good twenty he started actually thinking I was done for until I popped out of the pile and sent him flying across the battlefield.
     
    The match didn't last long as I over powered him quickly with my strategies, instincts, skills, and knowledge. Poor stallion'd actually gotten better since I last seen him.
     
    It's funny how despite these "visits to an alternate plane" being dreams that I haven't had any intrusion from the nightmother of an aunt I call lulu. Normally I know she's watching my dreams but with these it's like there's a barrier or something keeping her out. Might have to have her try a few experiments the next time I go for training or a visit.
     
    Anywho I'm off to go try solving the frozen riddle for a little bit before crashing for the night. I've got orchard work, costume work, and supply gathering to do tomorrow as well as escorting three young fillies to school and home.
  13. Cimarronboy

    After The Break

    By Cimarronboy,

    It's been awhile since I blogged and a bit has happened. First I've acquired a few new equestria items such as the build a bear cmcs, and the journal of the two sisters. I've also finished the rough draft of my Equestrian fanfic, at least up to season five without the comics, as I've not decided whether to do some of the comic arcs or not. I've also discovered "Let It Go" from frozen. There have been arguments and fun times abound. Still feel like I should find a butler constume and turn it into my everyday appearel, seeing as it seems to be what I am. Been busy dealing with a couple friends and their constant hospital visits for seizures and foot problems. I've seen Rainbow Rocks twice now as of 1 pm sunday oct 5. Tomorrow, the 6th, I have a funeral to go to. Dealt with the emotions the day I got the news so I'll probably be easier to control.
     
     
     
     
    As for elsewhere I've had some time to relax. Actually it was more like my marefriend kidnapped me and took me to a resort town for some r&r. It was just the two of us for about a week. Our final day of hiding ended quite interestingly. My mf decided to see things eye to eye and experience things from my pov. We were dueling when I got the first whiff of ali-magic. I jumped us back to the hotel room and came up with albeit the most brilliant plan for keeping hidden ever. I ran the the shower and waited for a knock on our room door. Upon hearing the knock I hollard from the bathroom. This created the audio illusion that hygiene related actions were being take when they actually weren't. This didn't deter the visitor though. She came trotting straight into the room. It wasn't long before my marefriend and I were busted and drug back to our hometown. At this moment ms. "magic princess" and I are working on a few trial and error versions of a way home for me.
     
    After that I had a few strange dreams containing a single castle village full of Equestrians. It started out being attacked by a kaiju. As I moved to fight off the creature it revealed itself to be none other than lulu but as a giant. I got her attention and made my way by invitation to the "queens'" castle. At the back of the castle was a garden of strange plants. When meeting queen luna there she was as big as I was and stated it was because of the "dream gardens" magic. She then gave me a tour of the castle and I was introduced to queen celestia and princess cadence. Being in the moon queens favor I was given a room in the castle to lay my head while I lived there. This meant I would be living with the giant equestrian rulers, nothing I'm not used to already, but it was on the condition I help them become benevolent rulers instead of the tyrants they were. After a while cadence and I became buddies and I went to school with her. She had a spell that allowed her to shrink while amongst the citizens and appearently that spell works on relativity as well seeing as how when she shrank so did I. Crazy part is it's high school and she has yet fallen in love with shining. Luna and I's relationship has gone from friends to her asking me out. I helped cadence fall in love with shining and helped twi with her studies when cadence foalsat her. The first dream ended with the nmm incident and me leaving equestria.
     
    The second continued using memories of when I first arrived in this crazy plane. It included the un-nightmaring of lulu and went on until the night of the g.g.g. where I bumped into luna. She confessed that she thought that the energy she felt from me was actually just a memory yet to fade. We chatted and then I left to catch up with the harmony bearers. There I bumped into tia, who for the second time was suspicious of my true identity (more like she busted me but wanted me to admit my identity before she said anything. This time she asked, using her sister as part of her given reason, to come hang at the castle. I reluctantly (more chose my head over my fear) agreed and went with her. She took me to a room in the castle where she, the moon queen, and cadence chewed me out for hiding from them. We made up and went back to the way thigns were with the exception of my now living with the orchard owners (though not for long if the dreams follow my timeline in Equestria) and the fact lulu and I were more family than soul mates. That's where the second dream left off no thanks to belle waking me up to take her to her first day of school.
     
    That was actually a crazy time itself. Cheer asked me to be a sort of guest speaker for the day. I decided to teach them about standing up for themselves. I told them the story of a stallion I once knew. Throughout the story homesickness reared it's ugly head and caused sharp pain on and off. When I finished I started escorting the three "little sisters" home bt didn't get far before being stopped by my marefriend and her five friends. They could feel my pain through the connection we share through our spirit and were worried. Unfortunately they arrived too late and I blacked out. When I came to it was morning. I decided to act as if nothing was wrong and went back to finish the story. A sense of duty allowed my body, mind and heart to plow through the pain. It wasn't until afterwards that I passed out again this time with only the three fillies around to help me. They got me to their sisters who in turn got me to the royal aunts. After a night or two I woke. It turned out that the aunts now needed answers I'd only given the six mares I was with most of the time. I gave them the answers and connected with them through my spirit. Hasn't gotten me closer to any of the most unfluencail unircorn mage in equestrian history's mirror research but it helps with the homesickness.
     
    Anywho tonight I'm giving the aunts some exercise as they promised to spar with me using their own special weapons and armor. After that I've got a (mandatory.... hoofin marefriend) visit to the twins' place of business (or as I like to call it the not a place for a manly man to be seen or instant man card loss zone... aka aloe and lotus' place), So I'm off for tonight to charge up on some decent war tunes and load the corresponding playlist to my necklace.
  14. Cimarronboy

    My head

    By Cimarronboy,

    So things on earth have been a bit relaxed since the weekend of the city's fair. Thanks to a friend I had this "my little belle" dream one night and since have been busy typing up the dream, with my online add being distracting as usual. Just finished that tonight. Other than that I tore my luna 'nights deck apart as well as my rainbow deck from the first set and rebuilt them. I now have a lunarity deck, double rainbow dash deck, and the pinkie two player set deck.
     
    One night rare entranced me when I was playing a game on facebook. A song popped up and suddenly I was stuck on that song with rare calling my name. Let's just say she was wanting a nice day on the town together as well as a nice romantic night. Of course I couldn't ablige until I crossed over that night.
     
    As for things in equestria it's also been pretty chill. Taking a break from my search for the secrets of the mirrors and the spells amongst other interplaner travelling methods to do other important work. Mainly searching for alien slugs on equestria. Rare's been a pain since she got over her worries for my safety. Being tiny doesn't bode well with a lot of things, I speak from experience. Thinking about putting the girls (and maybe shining and cadence and the cmc) through some hidden training. Teach them a few games and they'll suddenly be able to give me time to get on scene if I'm away. Getting some down time with everypony has been very relaxing and quite enjoyable compared to the constant excitement of playing hero.
     
    Anywho gotta go put the mini-mallow to bed since I promised her I'd do so after ditching band practice with her and the other cmc's.
  15. Cimarronboy

    Snoozefest

    By Cimarronboy,

    Two days without blogging and it's all cuz of a slaggin cold. Pretty much nothing's changed in my schedule though. Gaming most of the day only stopping to eat, sleep and use the bathroom.
     
    Crossed over my v.s.s. (very special sompony) has been smothering me letting her maternal instincts take control. It's been soup (made by a certain peg good with beasts and healing. blasted peg should try her and at bein a nurse, might help her with her shyness) and sleep ever since she found out. Even the mini-mellow has been trying to play nurse. So many different instances where she's assisted her sister in my recovery and still her bumm's not been marked. My poor marefriend has taken to having the local lizard accompany her to do her errands as well as gathering resources for the shop to sub for me in my time of illness (such dramatics over a small cold but I love that mare). As for the party it was loud, bright, and totally a typical party. I'mma have to teach pie when to throw a real party. I'll blow her mind during the next decent thunderstorm, though I expect a bout of homesickness during or after as that's where I learned about storms and partying. Afterwards I had to do a bit of "beg your pardon"ing to five mares who weren't happy about my "camping trip" as I like to call it. That's not counting the three I left in the capital. I just know the moon princess will probably throw in one of her games that I'm not good at, as a form of training me and helping me improve at such game, and then maybe a lesson or two seeing as how I'm her student. The older one will probably have a stern interrogation and then be all "you've gotta start telling us how you feel. You're among friends, some who are as close as family and we can all help you when you need it if you'd just let us." and the crystal one would probably try using hanging out as a cover for the same kind of talk her aunt gives. Anywho it's time for me to crash before somepony comes in and scolds me for not resting and getting better.
  16. Cimarronboy

    To The Future

    By Cimarronboy,

    Well today was okay a few minor annoyances and stuff. Then I finally got on the web. Hit up facebook and I find a nasty message from my best buds girlfriend. You'll love this lady. Think queen chrysalis but as a normal human. I feel bad enough insulting poor chryssy just by calling this wench that. Anywho she got to me.
     
    She's been totally abusive to her boyfriend, his family, and pretty much any person who is a threat to their relationship in even the near impossible slightest (numbers wise the chance of being a threat is incalculably small). She's been just horrible to anyone and everyone.
     
    Unfortunately we know eachother, mainly cuz she tried dating me over the web, practically proposed through a poem, and then dumped me for my brother from another mother (we're practically family that's how close we were) as soon as she met him.
     
    Speaking of said bf invited me to a card tourney this weekend. I told him I'd see because the city carnival was coming up. Here's where the evil queen starts yelling at me in her message. She's got her boy toy thinking that the other people I hang out with are more important to me than he is. Gotta love this chick and her dictatorship ways. So I reply that he'll have his chance to hang when I go to the tourney and that if he chooses to not show because I'm there that he'd better quit his whining.
     
    The chick has pretty much destroyed our friendship with the control she has over him. He pretty much can't even go to the bathroom without her having to be there, or call him and then accuse him of lying no matter how true his answers are.
     
    Anywho she's done some awful crap to everyone me and her boyfriend are connected to. We've done our best to help my buddy see her for what she is but she's got him under something strong. He's pretty much a slave, pet, and lover all in one.
     
    Back to the tourney. If my buddy shows I know for a fact (psychic ability aside) that she'll be right there to keep him "in line" (more like under her control). Thus comes the biggest test I'll have to face in my lifetime.
     
    I told you last night that I had an anger problem. Accompanying that is the fact that my mind works like an animals. I think like a human but I also have instincts like an animal. I could easily spin out different scenarios concerning what an animal would do in pretty much any situation. This kinda imposes on me because I think like an animal and will react like an animal.
     
    In this case she has attacked and threatened members of my family group as well as myself. Any animal by now would have defended itself/ it's family group in whatever means necessary. Having a past and present filled with an out of control violent anger doesn't help much, especially since the beast's cage door has been left closed enough for only the slightest force to open it from the inside.
     
    This weekend I will test how much control I truly have. It's a huge risk since, knowing the extent of my rage, it could end as badly as prison. On the other hand if I succeed in controlling my temper I'll have more confidence and maybe take more and more risks in the future slowly over time and maybe eventually get a job and not have to worry about my anger at all.
     
    All I know is that either way nothing but good can come from this. If the worst comes to pass I'll at least have the time (and space) to learn and gain control of my temper. If the best comes to pass well than maybe it'll be the start of a long and bright future.
     
    All I know is that my buddy and I need to have a heart to heart and that his girlfriend needs to learn her boundaries and to start respecting both them and the people in her boyfriend's life and that there are consequences (like her bf actually getting the guff and kicking her out of his life(if only)) for her actions.
     
    As for things in equestria well....
     
    I may have made a very big mistake. After a couple songs stabbed straight through my chest I decided that I needed to go back to my marefriend. I made my way back to her place from the borders of the country. At the edge of town I spotted her sister and her sister's two friends wrestling with some plants on their way to the zebra;s home.
     
    I quickly flashed through using a forme that sliced through the carnivorous weeds and would kill them off slowly while keeping them from being a threat to the fillies. I made it a point for my "little sisters" to see me so they could spread word to my marefriend and maybe make my return a bit less dramatic.
     
    I waited til night to show up at my marefriend's door. I rang the door bell and waited on the steps for her to answer. I had a few songs prepared to use as my apology. I was anxious for any of the scenarios that could take place to happen.
     
    Then the door opened and her impossibly white hooves stood motionless in the doorway. Her sapphire eyes searched the area for anypony and then checked for a package on the steps. When they stopped on me time stood still.
     
    Then a tear splashed down beside me as she reached down to carefully pick me up. For a moment we just stared into eachother's eyes and then I found myself crushed into her snowy fur in a tight hug. She was balling the words "she was telling the truth, you are back".
     
    Afterward she took me inside and we poured our hearts out to eachother. By the end of the playlist (as many songs as we had that's pretty much what it ended up being) she looked at me and ended the whole tear filled romance movie scene with the most typical thing coming from her muzzle,
     
    "Darling you're filthy and a bit strong smelling" she said causing us both to laugh hard. Then her face grew serious and I prepared for another drowning in the sink. Appearently to ponies dignity means that complete strangers (in the case of when we first met) are allowed to treat you like a pet, especially if your height is about an inch tall. I've gotten used to it.
     
    Anywho things went straight from there to bedtime. Couldn't blame her as late as it was but on the other hand I was an adult, a powerful being capeable of easily assisting in several country saving events, sentient, and by all means her boyfriend. I don't mind curling up on a pillow beside her but I wanted more time catching up on recent goings on with our friends and others close to us as well as maybe some time to chat about our relationship and how much we loved eachother, Not complaining as one unusual thing happened. For one night so far she decided that I had all bases covered when it came to my safety and finally gave herself what she long since has starved just for the sake of my safety.
     
    Though she slept more soundly than she had since I left I remained awake and thinking about the future. I have put the mares and citizens of the equestrian plane in danger by returning to civilization. If I'd remained in the wilds I may have had a chance to escape by keeping ponies out of sight if I learned that they were responsible for the gaping spiritual hole in my body.
     
    Unfortunately I have a welcome back party planned for today that I must attend. Crazy mare has an addiction and searches for even the slightest reason for her to throw a party. She's done so many welcome back parties for me it's ridiculous. Worst part is she like to kiss the top of my head when she sees me and I know when such is coming as I've grown an allergic reaction to it in the form of an itchy nose (kiss a fool, fool being another term for clown, clown's are supposed to make people smile.... you get it, it's a term of endearment leave me alone). Maybe if I talk to the royals about things I might get the answers I'm looking for and be able to stop the worst future scenarios from happening.
  17. Cimarronboy

    Tough times

    By Cimarronboy,

    7/7/14
     
    My day started out awful. Nightmares about a traumatic event from my past spiraling into different scenarios woke me up around seven. Decided to grab some clothes and take a shower and some new cd's still in cases fell, breaking one case and scratching the cd. Started up the stairs and tripped. At this point I did the stupid thing and punched the stairs making my now slighty (more scratched and bruised than anything) injured right hand match the left. Was even grouchier when I over stepped the top step and nearly fell through the opening door.
     
    Before I go farther I should explain. I've got a terrific streak of winning the getting screwed lottery. I have terrible luck, a traumatic past, and I'm pretty much the closest thing possible to a real incredible hulk. When my temper gets the best of me I become a monster. Friend or foe get my past my control point and you'll be lucky to escape with barely a scratch. Ironically I'm normally a peaceful person who hates even the slightest arguement between two or more people. I blame this on the fact I grew up thinking I was an only child, had step dad as nice as old hades himself, and pretty much knew that every violent fight my mom and step dad got into was my fault.
     
    This has resulted in the fact that my violent temper now has me fearing for those closest to me. I consider myself a danger because of the fact that I have no control of my overly violent temper and am therefor not much more than a ticking time bomb that will more than likely will become an unwilling prisoner not just to my anger but to the government as well if my anger is unwillingly pushed far enough.
     
    Doesn't help that I'm pretty much trailer trash poor and am too afraid of the consequences of my temper getting pushed to far to get a job. I tried for ssi but basically was too smart to be on it despite my temper, poor health, and autism. Before all that there was the ups and downs that didn't help my anger recede.
     
    Late 2000 I finally found out I had siblings. Things started looking good despite the incidents my anger and caused. I had been unknowingly influenced in a life changing way by a movie, found out I had and hung with my siblings, and pretty much was heading for near bliss. Then boom siblings were gone and fights at home became worse.
     
    Through all this though the seed I'd mentioned before thrived and managed to keep me alive. Since the day it bloomed I've been somewhat more positive. I resumed what I thought was a normal life. I had my guardian spirits at night that gave me the dream come true of a perfect family as well as the powers I'd gained before I met them, when I'd travel to their plane at night. I was soon living the life of a superhero any kid wanted to be, albeit a more miniscule one due to my curiousity of the microverse. This lasted through to January 2014, though I theorize maybe was removed more around mid 2013.
     
    Cimarronboy had went from being a username to taking a physical life of his own and is actually now part of me. At night I'd crossover and the adventures soon started going from my head to virtual paper. I kept a few inside my head as they were more difficult for me to put into words (until this blog which is where I'll journal the thoughts and happenings to tie into my fanfics). I'd pretty much had one life here in this plane on earth as an overweight asthmatic stereotypical nerd and another in a different plane as a superhero based off all the things that I'd come to love. From this secret night life spawned some of the greatest discoveries known to man, mainly musical energy. Unfortunately a chain of unfortunate events laid ahead in my spiritual future that would lead me to where I am now.
     
    I finally had gotten tired of seeing these blasted my products everywhere like a plague. I decided to do the jerk thing and research some stuff I could use to insult those who held the blasted creatures as high as gods. Long story short it backfired and I became a brony.
     
    I spread the "infection" as I jokingly called it amongst my closest friends. Soon I had a dream an invention of my kidnapped me and sent me to equestria (side effects of stuff breaking when sat on accidently). I was now trapped there when my body here slept. No longer was I able to spend time with those I called family and friend nor spend hours in those places where everything felt perfect.
     
    As time went on my astro-forme grew somewhat accustomed to equestria and it's natives. I came to find myself as connected with some of it's more famous inhabitants, mainly the ones that we know more about here on earth. Unfortunately there was still the matter of getting back home. Homesickness would hit cimmy hard every once in a while and despite the strength of his new found friends cimmy couldn't get over it.
     
    At this point I'll start telling things from his/my perspective during the crossovers, being that we are one and the same:
     
    Recently I'd gotten news through the web (thank lulu equestria has an internet) that the royal side of my family would soon be getting new stories on earth as well as I'd be getting a baby brother to go with them. My first thoughts were to research the news and maybe find out more about this "guard" that was going to be set up back in homeland. My second thoughts were that the royals are going to be VERY unhappy if I missed this event and that I had to get home before it happened.
     
    Unfortunately since I'd lost my spirit (the afformentioned bloomed seed) due to the baby sister I had on earth trying to commit (literally felt a ripping sensation and something disappearing as I heard straight from her mouth) I haven't been able to return to the herd nor the pride. I've tried everything I can think of and still I'm stuck here. Being embarassed about returning to a home filled with the spirit I lost and not having to also doesn't help matters much. The only thing I have yet to try is one of the magic mirrors I've used about twice now. Unfortunately I know not how to create one specifically and adjust it to my purpose nor is that information readily available despite my bonds with she who has such info and the services I've done for her country. A recent incident in the catacombs below the castle involving some gem poaching pooches didn't help when my path had to be destroyed to save the city above and interrupted my search for a location I'd heard would have the info I so desperately need.
     
    After such I reflected on my past no thanks to a bout of homesickness. A terrible thought occured and I have since left the care of the castle staff and the princess sisters. The thought was the time between when my earth existence became a brony and I'd lost my only tie to rain and the herd I'd called family. It was barely around half a year. This somewhat incriminated the ponies I'd come to call sisters, aunts, friends, and even my love, albeit in an unknowing and unwilling way. They could have spiritually hijacked me.
     
    Knowing I must find the truth I left immediately. If they were proven innocent I'd return and ask their forgiveness for my unintentional soul searching trip. If they were proven guilty well I feared my wrath for those equestrians closest and decided that the wilds were a safer place to be if my greatest fears came true.
     
    Days since I left the element bearers and the moon princess showed up demanding answers or my return to their civilization. I answered as much and as honestly as possible. The one I call my love was a bit more difficult as our separation tore at us both. I bestowed upon her a trinket that would show my love for her and also my condition should she use enough energy upon it. I then disappeared from them and made my way to a safe distance at the edge of the countries borders. My corazon ,though, is becoming an irritant. Her constant playing of the love songs and such that bond us in order to get me back from my abandoned music player, is tearing my heart further.
     
    Tonight she played on old tune that spoke to me in the moments that now elicit the full understanding of a song. In a way I wish to return to her and the little near double I've come to call our little sister. I know that if she got a look at the wounds from my human plane incidents that I'll probably be scolded for carelessness and drowned in the sink to get the wilderness cleaned from my hide.
     
    For now I might return to the home of my corazon and accept her generosity. Though as for my bonds they will remain uncertain until I find the truth as to why the thing that kept me alive for so long has vanished and left me weakened. Until thing I shall also search for a way to return to the life I once knew as inheritor of both leadership of the herd and king.....
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