Derplight Sperkle

Hello Nightmare Season, After reviewing Peony, I see some problems with the app. One would be your personality section. The last sentences on paragraphs two and three sounds fitting in the Likes/Dislikes section than in personality. The last paragraph is also unnecessary, it sounds more just like a list of already stated likes/dislikes. Second would be the spell that Peony uses to keep flowers alive longer. It's stated that she already used the spell before she researched it when Peony discovered her special talent. It doesn't make sense. Why did she need to research the spell later on if she already knew it? Lastly, your other section. The magic telepathic flower comes out of nowhere. This sort of information is explored in the backstory, seeing how this is such an important detail. I'm sure this flower has played a significant part of Peony's life. The spell you mentioned that styles Peony's mane and tail is already assumed telekinesis. It doesn't really need mentioning. Fix these issues I have stated and you can get closer to that first approval. Thanks!

Everything looks to be in order. The most important first approval is yours!

My favorite would be the Massachusetts State Cookie, chocolate chip.

Hello Cosmic Breeze! Welcome to the Forums! I'm sure I'm not the first to welcome you to our lovely little (if you consider 35k small) community. I also thank you for your interest in Equestrian Empire. With the formalities out of the way.... Overall, this is very solid. I just have a couple nitpicks. The personality section could get some better spacing between paragraphs. And lastly in the final paragraph from the last mentioned section, you mention that Cosmic enjoys playing video games at home. We haven't seen the use of video games at home in canon, just at arcades. That will need to be fixed. Otherwise, as I have stated, Cosmic is almost ready to get my first approval. Thanks!

Looks like everything seems to be in order. I'm giving you the first approval Just a note, when you have a better pic, just give me a PM and we can work on getting it replaced.

@@Blitz Boom It is weird I get no notifications from you. I read this because of me checking here...

@@Shineling Thanks. You can thank the awesome skills of SFyr for it

Hello ProbablyNotLyra! Welcome to the forums! It is great to see you apply to enter our famed Equestrian Empire (don't quote me on this ). So on to the review... First things first, you will need a picture of Mirage. We don't expect the most awesomest commission or drawing, a simple Griffin Creator image will suffice (it exists). The likes and dislikes section will need some work. A lot of them are unexplained from where they come from. Like how does Mirage like or even know of Princess Luna? Why does he dislike snooty ponies? These are just some questions. Of course you don't have to explain things like his favorite food, that's fine. Others can be explained through either the personality or backstory section. Speaking of... Your backstory is too short. It needs to be three detailed paragraphs. Also in the last sentence you are mssing the necessary "animals" after dangerous. And your other section is only used for extra details, you don't need what is in there. It's fine to leave empty. Mirage is on his way to entering EqE. Just address these issues and I can put forward the coveted first approval.

@@Blitz Boom You may have missed my post. I haven't seen a response or received notification that it has been replied to. Here is the post

I've heard a lot of horror stories of young people being shunned or kicked out of the house for admitting their atheist views. I know it comes mostly from the Bible Belt but I don't want to test it out. I'm almost sure that nothing will come of it. Living in the New England area is pretty non-religious so it won't be bad.

Hey @ScrewLoose, We here in Roleplay World need an OOC thread for every RP posted. I'm going to lock this thread until there is an OOC posted in the OOC section. Please PM me the link to the OOC when it is created and I will unlock this thread. Thanks!

@@Blitz Boom "That was a dark day. Everypony was in such disarray during the attack with changelings taking this pony and that. That was until the shield came back up that everypony felt safe once more," Derplight held his head low. It wasn't his best moment. Looking back, he regrets taking part in the attack. All those ponies running in fear of his previous form, it disgusted him. Ponies still doing that still makes Derplight queasy. Derplight did look up when Briar mentioned his other limb. He looked on in curiosity as Briar lifted the cape and revealed the flower on his back. He mouthed wow as the majestic petals flowed up and down at a methodical pace. This was something he has never seen in his travels, or even heard of. Derplight shook himself from the stare of the petals. "I've never met an Evergrown, so excuse my staring," he said sheepishly.

Welcome to the team! Just make sure you dot your i's and cross your tea's. :-P

@ Twilight What kind of pony would talk like this? Twilight thought as she heard the voice. Then the word that stuck out of the statement. Alicorn. "That can't possibly be another alicorn," Twilight said smugly to herself. "The only other alicorns are the other princesses. I will have to see it for myself." The door opened to an unicorn that Twilight has never met before and... an alicorn. Her eyes and mouth opened in surprise. "Uh...hello?" Twilight stammered out. Derplight Derplight wiped a bead of sweat when Senvious stopped pushing the topic of Chrysalis. He really didn't want his cover blown already. Though he didn't appreciate being called low class. Derplight didn't get high in the swarm, but even the lowest were giving some respect. Chrysalis never demeaned the drones and treated them like children who needed to eat. Once the door opened, he saw the purple princess that was with the others just before Chrysalis was shown the door by Thorax. He passed by her when she was unconscious, so even his real form wouldn't be recognizable. Most non-changelings couldn't tell them apart. He just back, so he wouldn't be noticed right away.

I do have somewhat of a Bostonian accent. Sometimes my r's disappear in my speech. I mean, those drivers always forget to use their blinkahs!

Welcome to the team. Hopefully, the Majora's Mask fits as you keep a Link to the Past. Make sure you avoid our Twilight Princess in your adventures. Never forget your Four Swords as you keep A Link between Worlds. And lastly, take a last Breath of the Wild before you become one of us. Yes I know I'm a terrible changeling...

Mine's definitely not as beautiful. Here it is in its glory It was a glitch I got in Halo MCC when I loaded out of a mission.

@@Blitz Boom Sorry it took me some time to reply. Been busy, but a post is waiting for you

@@Blitz Boom Upon hearing about the bones of the creature, Derplight looked around to see if there were any. Curious to see how big they can get since this creature, or demon, had to be big to destroy all this property. His ears perked when he heard about a lost limb. Derplight counted with his hoof Briar's legs and saw none were missing. Weird... "Um, what limb? I see you still have all four of your legs..." Derplight questioned. This question didn't linger on since Briar stepped into the slip Derplight made earlier. I gotta a come up with some excuse! Derplight eyes widened as he came with a little lie in an instant. "Oh...that...I... uh...was in Canterlot! Yes, during the invasion! I was there. At Canterlot. The changeling invasion. I was caught up in the craziness," he spurt out. He wasn't lying exactly. He was really there, just not one of the ponies being chased...

@ Derplight Derplight gulped. "I rather not," he said meekly. Derplight still preferred not talk about her. In hindsight, Chrysalis wasn't exactly the best ruler, even at the time the changelings were under her control. "I even wonder who lives here. Who needs a giant tree castle to live in?" He was as curious of the occupant. Is it one of the royal sisters that almost everypony always mention? Twilight "Spike, pen a letter," Twilight instructed her small companion. Spike rushed to get a quill and parchment. Soon he had them in hand and stood at the ready. "Alright Twilight. What do you have in mind?" "Spike, There is noth- " she was interrupted by sudden rainfall. Weird, there wasn't any rain planned today. Twilight flew over the window to check outside. It was indeed raining. Pegasi were not known for suddenly changing the weather in this scale. "Spike, stay here. I need to go check-" Twilight spoke before another interruption echoed throughout the castle. "-outside. I will be back." Twilight rushed to the door to check who it was. A strange glow throughout the lower floor of the castle. It was nothing like Twilight has seen before. She was soon at the door and shouted to the other side. "Who's there?"

@ Derplight's eyes widened at the mention of his former queen. "I have no idea who you are talking about," Derplight replied, visibly nervous. "I know no such pony." Derplight knew from previous town visits that hearing of that name caused many to question why he knew of her. But this Lord Senvious, was not like anypony he had met. Derplight followed the alicorn towards the castle with Senvious. He was also curious of the structure. "So, uh, what are you doing now? I hope no more flying barrels please?"

All the fixes I noted above are all fixed. I see no point in prolonging this further... So off to get that second approval!

The vote seemed clearly against FancyHorse, everypony just plain said no.... (Just kidding) Alrighty, I will get the RP into the gracious hooves of the fanciest of ponies, FancyHorse!