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Tom Snyder

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  8. Tom Snyder

    Joke of The Day

    By Tom Snyder,

    A photographer from a well know national magazine was assigned to cover the fires at Yellowstone National Park. The magazine wanted to show some of the heroic work of the fire fighters as they battled the blaze.
     
    When the photographer arrived, he realized that the smoke was so thick that it would seriously impede or make it impossible for him to photograph anything from ground level. He requested permission to rent a plane and take photos from the air. His request was approved and arrangements were made. He was told to report to a nearby airport where a plane would be waiting for him.
     
    He arrived at the airport and saw a plane warming up near the gate. He jumped in with his bag and shouted, "Let's go!" The pilot swung the little plane into the wind, and within minutes they were in the air.
     
    The photographer said, "Fly over the park and make two or three low passes so I can take some pictures."
     
    "Why?" asked the pilot. "Because I am a photographer," he responded, "and photographers take photographs."
     
    The pilot was silent for a moment; finally he stammered, "You mean you're not the flight instructor?"
  10. Tom Snyder
    [Fluttershy]
    Now, Rainbow, my dear, I cannot express my delight
    It's abundantly clear
    That somewhere out here
    Is a pet that will suit you just right
    [Rainbow Dash]
    I can't wait to get started, but first let me set a few rules
    It's of utmost importance
    The pet that I get
    Is something that's awesome and cool
    Fluttershy: Awesome, cool, got it.
    I have so many wonderful choices, just wait, you will see
    [Rainbow Dash]
    I need something real fast like a bullet to keep up with me
    [Fluttershy]
    Sure! How 'bout a bunny?
    They're cutesy and wutesy and quick as can be
    [Rainbow Dash]
    Cutesy? Ootesy? Have you even met me?
    [Fluttershy]
    Rainbow, have faith
    You see, I will bet you
    Somewhere in here is a pet that will get you
    Fluttershy: C'mon, the sky's the limit!
    Rainbow Dash: Sky is good. I'd like it to fly.
    Fluttershy: Really? Because I think this widdle puddy tat has your name written all over it. Yes he does. Aww, look, he likes you!
    Rainbow Dash: Pass.
    [Fluttershy]
    I have so many wonderful choices for you to decide
    There are otters and seals
    With massive appeal
    [Rainbow Dash]
    Otters and seals do not fly.
    Fluttershy: Maybe not, but I've seen this particular seal catch ten feet of air when he breaches the water.
    Rainbow Dash: That's it. I'm outta here.
    [Fluttershy]
    Wait! There must be a pet here
    That will fit the ticket
    How 'bout a ladybug or a cute cricket?
    Rainbow Dash: Bigger. And cooler.
    Fluttershy: Bigger. Cooler. Right.
    I've got just the thing in that tree, Dash
    Meet your new fabulous pet Squirrely
    Rainbow Dash: It's just a squirrel.
    Fluttershy: Not just any squirrel. A flying squirrel!
    Rainbow Dash: ...Yeah. So, like I was saying.
    Fluttershy, pal, this won't cut it
    I need a pet to keep up with me
    Something awesome, something flying
    With coolness that defies gravity
    Fluttershy: I'm sensing you want an animal that can fly.
    Rainbow Dash: Ya think?
    [Fluttershy]
    I have plenty of wonderful creatures who soar in the sky
    Like a sweet hummingbird or a giant monarch butterfly
    Rainbow Dash: Better, but cooler.
    [Fluttershy]
    I see. How 'bout an owl, or a wasp, or a toucan?
    There's so many wonderful creatures the likes of that.
    There are falcons and eagles
    They are both quite regal
    Or perhaps what you need is a dark and mysterious bat
    Rainbow Dash: Now you're talking. But instead of just one standout, now that's too many.
    So many choices, and such riches aplenty
    Fluttershy: Not a bad problem to have if you ask me.
    [Rainbow Dash]
    The bat would be awesome, but the wasp I'm digging too
    D'you have something in a yellow striped bat?
    [Fluttershy]
    No,
    I've got a hot pink flamingo, just dying to meet you
    [Rainbow Dash]
    What to do, what to do. *gasp*
    A prize! That's it! There's really just one way
    To find out which animal's best
    Hold a contest of speed, agility, and guts
    That will put each pet to the test
    [Fluttershy]
    Don't forget style, that should be considered
    [Rainbow Dash]
    Then we'll know for sure who's best of the litter
    [Fluttershy]
    The one who is awesome and cool
    [Rainbow Dash]
    Just like me
    Can't settle for less, 'cause I'm the best
    [Fluttershy & Rainbow Dash]
    So a contest we will see
    [Rainbow Dash]
    Who's the number one, greatest, perfectest pet
    [Fluttershy & Rainbow Dash]
    In the world for me
    [Fluttershy]
    May the games
    [Fluttershy & Rainbow Dash]
    begin
    Rainbow Dash:And may the best pet win!
  12. Tom Snyder
    This is the best one i could find and i had to cut out the words that are not part of the song.
     
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xGViXQK9kj0
     
    A true, true friend helps a friend in need.
    A friend will be there to help them see.
    A true, true friend helps a friend in need to see the light that shines from a true, true friend.
     
     
    Rarity needs your help she's trying hard doing what she can't.
    Would you try, just give a chance.
    You might find that you start to understand.
     
     
    A true, true friend helps a friend in need.
    A friend will be there to help you see.
    A true, true friend helps a friend in need to see the light that shines from a true, true friend.
     
     
    Applejack needs your help she's trying hard doing what she can't.
    Would you try, just give a chance.
    You might find that you start to understand.
     
     
    A true, true friend helps a friend in need.
    A friend will be there to help them see.
    A true, true friend helps a friend in need to see the light that shines from a true, true friend.
     
     
    Pinkie Pie is in trouble.
    We need to get there by her side.
    We can try to what we can now.
    Or together we can be her guide!
     
     
    A true, true friend helps a friend in need.
    A friend will be there to help them see.
    A true, true friend helps a friend in need to see the light that shines from a true, true friend.
     
     
    The townspeople need you they've been sad for a while.
    They march around, faces frown and never seem to smile.
    And if you feel like helping, we appreciate a lot!
    If you get up there and spread some cheer from there to Canterlot!
     
     
    A true, true friend helps a friend in need.
    A friend will be there to help them see.
    A true, true friend helps a friend in need to see the light (see the light) that shines (that shines) from a true, true friend.
  13. Tom Snyder
    Silver Melody: Hello everypony! Silver Melody here. Today i have somepony special with me, say hello Rosemary.
     
    Rosemary: Um...hello..everypony..nice to meet you...
     
    Silver Melody: Don't ya worry folks, she's just a bit shy; so let's move on to the actually story, shall we? Don't worry so much, Rosemary; they won't bite, much.
     
    Rosemary: *Squeaks quietly*
     
    Silver Melody: I'm just kiddin Rosemary, so lets see...
    _________________________________
     
    Yesterday, i had to work in Apploosa; though i wish it were under better circumstances. I said goodbye to my family and friends and headed south for the western town, though i was relieved to hear there weren't many customers as usual. I stopped when i heard the manager saying somethin about a new employee coming to work there; i was curious ad asked, and this is what he said,
     
    "Oh don't worry, i'm not going to fire ya; just adding another to the team. With those busy nights, you always seem to be under a lot of stress. So we hired another waitress here."
     
    Though i saw nothin wrong with it, i was just worried that the local stallions who come here to drink will try and pull a fast one. So i told the new mare to watch her flank; and that these patrons get a little rowdy. She nodded and we got to work, nothing happens mind you; that is until i'm on break.
     
    "What's a good looking mare like you doing in a place like this?"
     
    I respond promptly and politely say, "I'm trying to enjoy my drink, do you mind?" of course he doesn't try it again and moves on. Now comes the worst thing to happen since i kicked that stallion's flank out the door. Another customer decides to try and hit on the new mare working at the bar, but i yank him away and sit him down back where he belongs.
     
    She thanks me and i continue my performance, singing to my hearts content; she often praises me for my voice, but i think she's just bein modest. Its going great, that is; until a stallion tries to come up on stage with me. So I play along until he does something he really regretted,
     
    "Excuse me mares and stallions, i have an announcement to make" I hoped he wouldn't do it, but oh celestia, was I wrong.
     
    "Me and miss melody here are gonna show you stallions how a true couple act together." he makes an advance and i turn away, letting him know i have no such intentions of being his mare.
     
    "Oh come on now, Miss Melody, nopony here will think badly of ya; just give me one right here." Of course i refuse to lower myself to his standards, and him bein drunk isn't helping matters. But i decide to humor him and decide to teach him a lesson.
     
    "Alright, but on one condition" he looks at me confused, butt manages to answer me.
     
    "And what might that be?" i have to really get him good; so i reply,
     
    "Close your eyes, and when i count to ten; you open 'em, got it?" Everypony in the room grows quiet, unsure if they want to see this or not; but i shush them and gesture what will happen. But all get the picture and i ready myself, and begin countin.
     
    "One....two...three...four...five...Ten!!" i draw back and buck him across the room and into a few tables, a bit dazed, he somehow manages to get up.
     
    "Woo wee! We got a fiesty one!" how he was even able to stand still confounds me to this day. I just wish he would have stayed down, cause what he does next is just plain stupid.
     
    "I gotta say, you one tough mare; but i'm tougher. So... will you go out with me, miss?" This one's persistence is amazing, in a stupid, yet idiotic way. Of course i say no, i'm not going to date a drunk stallion; even if he was the last one in equestria.
    ________________________
     
    Silver Melody: Now i know you guys think this was dirty, but how else was he suppose to learn his place; i don't have the tolerance for stallions who're drunk as sailors.
     
    Rosemary: You didn't have to hurt him...
     
    Silver Melody: Rose, if you had my job, you wouldn't be sayin that. These stallions have no self control around mares; what do you think they'd do to you if you were one of the waitresses?
     
    Rosemary: Um... well...I-I... I don't know.
     
    Silver Melody: Exactly! now let's continue, shall we?
     
    Rosemary: Oh, okay...
    __________________________
     
    So as i was sayin, i wouldn't date him if he was the last one alive. So i turn to leave, but he grabs a hold of my hoof, a big mistake.
     
    "Stupid git, let go of me." I yanks my hoof free, but does it again but to my other side. Now i've reached my tolerance limit and put my hoof right across his face, this makes him let go, and for good measure; i buck him again out the door and into the street.
     
    Everypony is the establishment seems to laugh at him, if you guys didn't know, every stallion gets this treatment for being rude and touching something that they ain't supposed to. But he learned that the hard way, and hasn't tried it again ever since. There will always be more like him, but the new mare is thankful i helped her out. And we have been good friend ever since.
    ___________________________
     
    Silver Melody: So that ends this story, so Rose, still feel i was in the wrong?
     
    Rosemary: I do hope he'll be alright, i mean...
     
    Silver Melody: I only broke his pride, so don't worry; he'll be fine. So now that we got that cleared up; hope you all enjoyed it! and have a lovely night!
  17. Tom Snyder
    A man kills a deer and takes it home to cook for dinner. Both he and his wife decide that they won't tell the kids what kind of meat it is, but will give them a clue and let them guess. The dad said, "Well it's what Mommy calls me sometimes." The little girl screamed to her brother, "Don't eat it. Its an asshole!
  19. Tom Snyder
    Before we begin, i want to make this clear; i do not have all the facts yet, but i will try my best to tell my theory; so lets begin!
    _______________________________________
     
     
    "There is a way to release ourselves. A spell to obtain our souls once more. We must speak it; but when we speak, no sound. We are all dumb. So failure is inevitable. And I regret ever entering the eternal bet with the devil inside me."
     
     
     
    These words are a poem which i took from a game and rewrote it for luna's theory, so this will have much more impact if i explain:
     
    Luna has always looked up to big sister, but when it became nighttime; she got no attention from anypony. This reason is because all ponies are sleep while she watches over their dreams, but she wasn't satisfied with this at all; she wanted all ponies to see her work. So she secretly makes a deal, she asks the darkness to grant her wish; but it would only do it on one condition, she must give up the one thing she values most; her soul. With this agreement, the darkness takes her for its own.
     
    This is the point of no return, the deal has been made and Luna loses everything she is; and becomes that darkness. Why? She was willing to give anything to have her night sky noticed and nothing will stop her from doing it. We've seen how determined Luna is at making friends, what makes you think she wouldn't give in to weakness?
     
    But Luna realizes all too late that this darkness doesn't want to help her, it wants to get rid of Celestia and bring forth the eternal night. All Luna can do now is watch as this thing attacks her sister and fails; both Luna and the darkness are banished to the moon for 1000 years. In that span of time, Luna regrets her deal with this darkness(Which i refer to as the devil inside), and wants it all to end. But whenever she speaks; her voice is no longer there; she can't speak.
     
    Now here's the point where i stop, Luna has made a grave error and cannot take it back; her soul is trapped and used by the darkness to fuel its magic, this in turn helps it gain the power to rival Celestia's own magic. But there is a catch, while it does have Luna under it control; there are times where Luna tries to call out; but cannot.
     
    This is because her soul holds her voice, and her life; but this darkness can manipulate it for its own personal gain, so any attempt to speak is futile. So the darkness speaks for her, but not the words she wishes to be heard; only words of jealousy and hate come out. This is her sin, and she now must live with it until somepony can save her.
     
    So when the elements of harmony are used on her, her soul is freed and she returns back to normal once more. Luna learns from her mistake and never does it again, favoring her abilities and friendships over greed.
    ______________________________
     
    So ends my theory, if you have any questions, please feel free to ask.
  20. Tom Snyder
    Three men were trekking through the desert and came across a magician. The magician was standing at the top of a slide. The magician than said, ''You may each go down the slide, asking for a drink. When you reach the bottom of the slide you shall land a a huge glass of that drink.
     
    The first man went down yelling, ''Beerrr!!!'' Plop! He landed in a glass of beer.
     
    The second guy went down the slide yelling,''lemonadeee!!!'' Plop! He landed in a glass of lemonade.
     
    The third guy went down the slide yelling ''wheeeeeeeee!!!'''
  21. Tom Snyder

    Joke of The Day

    By Tom Snyder,

    DEA officer stops at a ranch in Texas, and talks with an old rancher.. He tells the rancher, "I need to inspect your ranch for ill*gally grown dr*gs."
    The rancher says,
     
    "Okay , but do not go in that field over there," as he points out the location.
    The DEA officer verbally explodes saying,
     
    "Mister, I have the authority of the Federal Government with me." Reaching into his rear pants pocket, he removes his badge and proudly displays it to the rancher. "See this badge? This badge means I am allowed to go wherever I wish.... On any land.. No questions asked or answers given. Have I made myself clear? Do you understand? "
     
    The rancher nods politely, apologizes, and goes about his chores.
    A short time later, the old rancher hears loud screams and sees the DEA officer running for his life chased by the rancher's big Santa Gertrudis Bull......
     
    With every step the bull is gaining ground on the officer, and it seems likely that he'll get gored before he reaches safety. The officer is clearly terrified.
    The rancher throws down his tools, runs to the fence and yells at the top of his lungs.....
     
    "Your badge... Show him your badge!!"
  22. Tom Snyder
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cU7_wL3jWrU
     

    Not available in Germany

    This song represents how Solar feels about Rain leaving and the memories they made together as they watched the sunset; and now Solar says goodbye to his friend, hopeful that one day; they meet again.
     
    Solar Runner and Rain Crasher were best friends at one point and time, always together and discussing their futures; but one day, something happens that changes all that. Rain had told Solar that he stole something from Celestia, but wouldn't say exactly what it was. Solar made a promise to Rain to never tell anypony about it. The next day, Solar accidentally lets it slip and reveals the crime; and the guards catch wind of it.
     
    Rain is arrested while out shopping for some apples he wanted, the guards retrain Rain and take him to Canterlot castle, there he faces Celestia; his crime can't be ignored. Rain is sentenced to 15 years in prison. Solar feels horrible about breaking the promise he made to Rain all those years ago. Solar falls into a depression, one which he blames himself. Solar had bottled his emotions up with cider, but this wasn't enough to keep the memories from haunting him.
     
    This is when Solar realizes that he can't make the pain go away, but he can keep his memories of Rain in his heart, there; that way he will remember his mistake, and never repeat it ever again. But fear of losing himself was another concern. Solar continues to feel sorry for himself for another 4 years, and the betrayal always on his mind. But sometimes it was never easy, having to give up part of himself that made him what he is.
     
    While at the bar, Solar hears ponies talking about Rain's crime and it brings the memories flooding back; tearing at his emotions. The moment when Rain ended their friendship comes to his mind, the betrayal, the guilt; even the pain of those words. This leads Solar to confront those who are saying terrible things about his friend, and starts fighting with them; arguing that Rain isn't a bad pony, just didn't have a good sense of right and wrong. But he just can't stop remembering what Rain has said to before he left Canterlot:
     
    "Why did you do it, Solar?! You promised!!"
     
    This phrase repeats in his head over and over again, the promise; that vow to never tell anypony no matter what the circumstance. But yet he did it, Solar could never really keep his mouth shut when it mattered, now its his fault his friend left him.
     
    "I never want to see you again!! I'm leaving Canterlot, and don't you dare follow me!!"
     
    Rain had struck Solar before leaving, his way of making sure Solar understood him. Solar can only sit there, wondering how this could have happened; even berating him self for his blunder. Rain''s eyes only held disappointment, and Solar will never forget it.
  23. Tom Snyder
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ur3lM3JXbkU
     
    Due to copyright, this video is not available in these countries:

    Antarctica
    Bhutan
    British Indian Ocean Territory
    Cuba
    Germany
    Gibraltar
    Guernsey
    Isle of Man
    Jersey
    Niue
    Pitcaim
    South Georgia and the South Sandwich Islands
    Tokelau
    United Kingdom
    Wallis and Futuna

  25. Tom Snyder
    I won't lie, Destiny finally got their asses out of the gutter with this one. The past dlc seemed to have hiccups in the system and would bug an glitch; making it hard to play them. Now before you all start shouting "You're an idiot.", please keep in mind that my feelings on this game are mixed, there are some things i like and others i do not; and this i just my opinion. Now this whole deal about making fun of a gamer who has little exotics and doesn't do many raids? I don't do them, because they don't have any benefit for me; the armors just have no appeal to me.
     
    It just doesn't impress me like it does for you guys, i prefer crucible as there's more challenge in it for me. Its my way of getting better at the game, AI don't really have that challenge as a player does in the game. In my stats you'll see i play crucible and strikes way more than raids; why play it when Xur has some of the items you could get from the raid? I enjoy mixing up armors; this way i have more customization options and i won't look like everyone else. I got compliments on my style and i appreciate their words and take them to heart.
     
    What i dislike are gamers who think they're all that just because they got better gear; this game is not just about that ya know. Its about having fun and respecting those around you(unlike some people i know). But every time i try and see if i can find the best parts of armror and match them to my other ones to give it that sense of identity.
     
    But hopefully the new pieces in HoW put the others to shame and don't look cringe worthy. That's just what i feel and you can disagree if you like, but start trolling me and all you will do is make me feel better about myself. I never said this before, but when people insult me, i enjoy it a lot. So if you want to, go ahead; i won't mind.
     
    Here's my Warlock as i have customized him in my own way:

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