Marxyhooves

Sorry @JonasDarkmane, didn't mean to get carried away. No hurry at all; I will refrain from tagging @JonasDarkmane in future posts. Certainly, I can understand that having @JonasDarkmane tagged a bunch of times all in quick succession could become tiresome. So, I will be sure not to put the name @JonasDarkmane in my posts for the time being. Kind Regards, Marxyhooves

I've got a post cooked up as soon as JonasDarkmane posts and decides what became of the Flim Flam Brothers... Don't worry, Ivan's definitely got a plan to fix everything! Nopony is needing to panic, and this time, the plan is one that even Ivan can't mess up.... If there's one thing Ivan is good at, besides making soup and taking things way too literally, it is pulling wagons. And that machine is kind of like a wagon after all, right? Yeah there is definitely no way Ivan will come to regret trying to pull that thing, and whoever was unfortunate to be swept down along with him, uphill, across what was until quite recently very very hot lava, and is now slightly less hot, but still very hot, stone. Nope, no way Ivan could regret this decision at all! Kind Regards, Marxyhooves

@@Mentis Soliloquy, You think he's dead? Au contraire, my friend. You forget that Ivan, Hero of Stalliongradi Baggage Train, has also been swept down into the mine. Do not worry, Ivan has a plan. And this time, it is... well... still not a very good one, but it is certainly a simpler plan. Again... it may cause Ivan a little bit of pain, but Ivan is nothing is not a very, very, stubborn pony... Kind Regards, Marxyhooves

Well read and see for yourself my friend. Although, as a helpful hint, any pony not wishing to suffer second degree burns had best be quick on their hooves and jump out of Ivan's way as he is swept into the mine... Seriously. Get out of the way. Ivan will be in a lot of pain after this... Kind Regards, Marxyhooves

Blitz Boom, Mentis Soliloquy, DwhitetheGamer, JonasDarkmane, Randimaxis Of the things Ivan expected when he started knocking on the shed door, and honestly there weren't too many things, what transpired was most certainly not among them. Ivan, as has been said before, was never a pony prone to deep reflection or long term planning. However, one might forgive him for failing to anticipate being knocked flat on his rump in a cloud of dirt and miasma by a white and pink blur, apparently intent on crushing the life out of him... "Hehe, Joys and fun in abundance to you, and hugs so many, though let's start with a few." >Ivan.exe has stopped responding. No, this was most decidedly not what Ivan expected. While Ivan collected his wits, which, seeing as he was not a pony with anything close to an unmanageable abundance of wit in the first place, probably would not take too long, the flying white and pink blur that tackled him might take a moment to reflect on her recent life choices.Specifically, the choices that led to her bodily colliding with the one-pony pestilence blighting the face of Celestia's once bright land. Indeed, ancient myth was not far off when it told of a container in which all the evils of the world were kept, unleashed upon the world due to one mare's fatal curiosity. All it got wrong was the name... What it meant to call this container was "Ivan Durakovich's Uniform"... The unholy contents of which, having now been disturbed by a flying tackle-hug, were about to descend upon the unfortunate mare in question... The poor unsuspecting creature. Truly, it was a fate undeserved by anypony. Whilst this cloud of dirt, debris and despair descended upon poor Ziggy like a wrathful god... Ivan managed to pull himself together enough to make sense of some of the commotion going on around him. Specifically, something about lava and the mine being on fire... This immediately struck Ivan as odd... 'Mine is not meant to be full of lava... Nor is it meant to be on fire. Somepony should probably probably bring this state affairs to the attention of the management...' Further rumination on the subject was interrupted, however, as a cry echoed across the quarry... "Two ponies are trapped inside the cave with lava spewing out! Help me help them!" Yes, that would certainly have to take priority for the time being it seemed. "Da... Mine is on fire... MINE IS ON FIRE!" yelled Ivan abruptly standing up, and knocking the pink and white pegasus to the ground. "Now is no time for hug Flying-Candy-Cane-Mare!" Ivan helpfully pointed out to Ziggy at a somewhat uncomfortable volume, "MINE! IS! ON! FIRE!" And with that last truncated, although reasonably accurate, appraisal of the situation, Ivan was off galloping as fast as he could in the general direction of the shouting and screaming. Although, he was not sure exactly where... Still, he had his instructions... Help the blue spiky-maned pony with the fire extinguisher help the other two ponies trapped in the cave with the lava... Now all Ivan needed was a plan... This could take a while... Well it might have, had not a brown earth pony mare helpfully provided Ivan with further instruction... "SOMEONE GRAB SOMETHING WITH WATER IN IT!" "DA! DA! IVAN WILL GRAB THING WITH WATER!" Ivan called in reply, charging blindly around trying desperately to think of something he could do that would be remotely useful at this juncture. Ivan would no doubt have to use his head for this... -THUD- And promptly did exactly that, in the most literal of ways as he proceeded to run head-first into a large wooden support beam. Having now, for the second time in as many minutes, been knocked flat on his rump, Ivan took a moment to look around. He was uphill from the entrance to the mine, right next to the Gem Refinery as it so happened. This, however, was not what caught Ivan's attention. What preoccupied Ivan was the rather large water tower immediately adjacent to it. As Ivan stared up it, a number of thoughts occurred to him at, by Ivan's standards one understands, what was truly breakneck speed. 'The mine full of lava... Lava is like... Really big fire... Fires are put out with water. It is a big fire. A big fire needs a lot of water. Water tower uphill from the mine entrance. Water towers have lots of water... Da... I will open the water tower...' Truly it was a brilliant plan, and Ivan could not help but mentally congratulate himself as he rapidly scrambled to the top of the tower, opened the spigot, and watched the water begin to pour out... rather slowly pour out, as it so happened... Too slowly, Ivan reflected as he watched the comparative trickle make its way down hill toward the mine. 'Is not good... Water is needing to be faster to put out fire... Water tower is needing bigger hole...' A larger whole which Ivan proceeded to provide by bucking the spigot as hard as he could, sending it flying, and creating a large jagged hole in the tower where it had been. 'Da... Is better... Water is pouring faster... This is good plan...' -CRACK- Ivan's ears fell flat against his head as, behind where he was currently standing on the top of the tower, a myriad of cracks began spreading at an alarming rate around the whole he had just kicked, accompanied by an ominous groaning. Ivan sighed. The water tower, despite many years fateful service to the Blackwater family, could only stand so much abuse. Being head-butted and then having a hole kicked in it by a large Stalliongradi pony was more than it could take. Thus, without further ceremony, it proceeded to collapse directly onto the adjacent Gem Refinery. "Da... Is going to be bad day..." murmured Ivan simply, resigning himself to his fate, as the narrow platform he was perched on came apart around him and he was picked up by a raging torrent of water from behind him, "Bad day... Bad Day-Bad Day-Bad Day-Bad Day-Bad Day-BAD DAY!" Ivan's shouting devolved into a scream as he was carried downhill at the head of a minor tidal wave towards the mine. Hopefully, Ivan's frantic scream and the overpowering roar of oncoming water would give anypony hesitating the chance to jump out of the way. There was, unfortunately, a slight flaw in Ivan's plan... Aside from the water tower collapsing that is. While no doubt effective in cooling down the lava and turning it to stone, and thus preventing the mine shaft from collapsing, the water itself would not remain unaffected in this process. Indeed, while the lava cooled, the water would become hot. Very hot. So hot, in fact, that it would instantly turn into steam, very very hot steam, as soon as it hit the molten rock. Something Ivan would no doubt soon become excruciatingly well aware of as he bounced off of the Flim Flam Brother's Machine, and was swept down along with it into the mineshaft... "ORAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" Screamed Ivan as he descended into the mine and out of sight with the machine, as his yell trailed off and blended into the sound, not unlike a tea-kettle boiling, that the steam made as it shot out of the mine entrance...

Do not panic... Do not panic... Ivan has a plan. As he would describe it, "Is gud plan... Stronk plan... Best plan in ze wurld. Da..." But in all seriousness, I'm going to run it by Randi first for approval and wait for @Blitz Boom to post first... But if ze plan is approved... Well... Everyone be ready for some extremely incompetent heroism from Ivan... heh heh heh... Regards, Marxyhooves

I have posted. I hope I've not done it out of turn. This one took a while to write, and I hope I haven't fudged the continuity too badly... I figured that some indeterminate amount of time would have passed between Ivan being hired by Luther Blackwater and him managing to track down the shack Knee-Slapper and the others are in. Let me know if I've overdone it at all, and if so I'll dial it back. As it stands, I was asked to provide context for glorious chaos... The rest is up to you @Randimaxis and @Blitz Boom as to how Knee-Slapper, Red Handid, Oglevy, and Ziggy will react... I've no doubt that Ivan's earnest intentions will come through clearly, and with no misunderstandings whatsoever... Or they'll all freak out or something. I'm honestly really looking forward to how they all handle this. Kind Regards, Marxyhooves P.S. Bonus points for anyone who spots the terrible, terrible pun I discretely slipped into the post in question.

@@Randimaxis, "Follow the rules and do a good job; you will be paid well. Now go." Ivan simply nodded in reply as his new employer made his way into manor, taking a few moments to collect his thoughts after the intensive and somewhat harrowing interview process. The rules were fairly simple, even by Ivan's rather high standards of what qualified as such. Don't steal, fight, or be lazy... Ivan could do that. Wait... That wasn't right... What he meant was that he could not do those things... Well, he could. But he shouldn't do them... So... He wouldn't... Right? "Gah!" Ivan groaned and scratched under his cap in confusion, causing a small avalanche of dust, dirt, dandruff, and other assorted debris to litter the area around where he was standing... This was really difficult! No wonder smarter ponies than he were the boss... Okay, so, to recap, Ivan concluded that the rules were... The rules were... The little metaphorical gears of the little metaphorical engine of Ivan's brain could take no further abuse for the time being, and slowly ground to a halt. "Buck it," Ivan stated bluntly, "I will ask boss pony." Feeling better now that he had a plan of action, and seeing as this plan corresponded to the instructions he had received Ivan would not have to stop and think of a new one, which was always a plus when pressed for time, Ivan set out to find his new boss... "What was name?" he murmured softly as he set off in the direction of the main part of the quarry. Damn, another problem. "Name was... umm... uh... Knee-Something.... Knee-Slapper! Boss pony is Knee-Slapper, da..." Ivan concluded happily, feeling confident that things were definitely looking up, possibly for the first time since he had gotten his medal. Surely, he thought, nothing could spoil his good mood. - Some time later - @@Randimaxis, @@Blitz Boom, Ivan's good mood was thoroughly spoiled! Seriously! How hard could it be to find the boss?! But no matter who Ivan asked, nopony seemed to have any idea where this forepony, Knee-Slapper, was. What was worse, nopony seemed to have any idea where any forpony was! This other pony, Red Handid was also nowhere to be found. How could Ivan get to work if there was no boss pony to tell Ivan what to do? Ivan was rapidly reaching the end of his wits. Everypony he asked had either no idea, or, if Ivan pressed the issue, suddenly remembered seeing them on the far side of the quarry. Then Ivan would get there and somepony else would tell Ivan that he had seen them all the way back the other side again! If Ivan didn't know better, he'd almost suspect that the other ponies had absolutely no idea where the two foreponies were at all... It was odd though, everywhere they thought Ivan should look was always the farthest point away from wherever the pony Ivan was asking happened to be at the time. After the third or fourth time, Ivan was starting to become suspicious... Not that he was entirely sure what he was suspicious of... Something just smelled off about the whole situation, and for once it had nothing to do with something he had stuffed in his pockets to eat at some unspecified future time. Sighing as he approached the shack, preparing himself to be sent trekking clear off to the other side of the quarry again, Ivan slowly came to a halt... He could hear something... Voices! Coming from inside the shack. 'Ah-hah! Now I've found them! Finally, I can get to work.' Ivan thought as he trotted up towards the door. Yes, those were definitely voices, taking a moment to straighten his uniform, Ivan brought his hoof up to the door and knocked... and waited... "No reply..." Ivan grumbled. He'd looked everywhere else, they absolutely had to be in there! This really was unacceptable; he'd been wandering around looking for these ponies, were they trying to ignore him? No, no, they just must not have heard him, Ivan decided. Better knock again, louder this time... -THUD- -THUD- -THUD- "KNEE-SLAPPER!" Ivan bellowed, the volume making his Stalliongradi accent come through all the stronger. You'd think these ponies were all deaf or something... he was practically knocking the door off it's hinges... 'Hang on a moment,' a thought suddenly occurred to Ivan, 'This is quarry. Quarry is loud. Loud noises make ponies hard of hearing...' Ivan slowly deduced, 'In that case, better knock and shout as loudly as possible...' "MY NAME," -THUD- "IS IVAN," -THUD- "DURAKOVICH" -THUD- "PONIHUIPLET!" -THUD- "Mister Luther Blackwater has sent me to be having words with you!" Ivan shouted at the absolute top of his lungs; he honestly wasn't sure how long he could keep this up and he would probably be a little horse afterwards... -THUD- "I know you are in there!" Ivan was, however, nothing if not a very, very, persistent pony... -THUD- "I CAN HEAR YOU!" -THUD- "EVERYPONY IS COMING OUT? THEN WE HAVE FRIENDLY CHAT, DA!?!" -THUD- 'Honestly,' thought Ivan, 'These ponies had better be pleased to see me after all of the trouble I've been through to find them.' -THUD- It of course never even remotely occurred to Ivan that his overtures of friendly conversation and considerate decision to knock rather than just barging in or eavesdropping could be taken in any other way than he had meant them. Admittedly, Ivan perhaps sounded a little out of sorts, but it had been a trying day... It wasn't like all these ponies were all huddled up in this shack plotting some conspiracy during the middle of the work-day... Right?

Hello everyone, I just wanted to write a quick post saying that I have returned to the US and will be happy to post again as soon as it's my turn... One thing I was wondering, from what I understand, @@Randimaxis, has just had Luther Blackwater send my OC, Ivan, of to find another of Randimaxis's OCs, Knee-Slapper, who is currently indisposed with a few other ponies, along with the OC belonging to@@Blitz Boom, Ziggy... An idea I had was that, in the time between my last post and the current one, where it seems that the foreponies, Oglevy, and Ziggy, seem to have finally gotten a handle on things, Ivan might have made his way over to the shed where they all are, seeing as he had been told to go and look for Knee-Slapper. Now, seeing as what Knee-Slapper and the others have been doing with Oglevy is something all parties concerned would probably like to keep quiet, and also something that Luther Blackwater could, conceivably, react extremely poorly to if he were to find out... Well, if a large pony, that none of them knew, with a menacing Stalliongradi (i.e. Russian) accent suddenly appeared outside, banging on the door, and loudly announcing that Luther Blackwater had sent him to have a conversation with Knee-Slapper... Well, not that Ivan would mean conversation as some kind of artful euphemism for violence or anything like that, but I'm not sure that any of the ponies in the shack would have any way of knowing this. Seeing as Ivan would have caught them all with their, proverbial, trousers down, it might make for an amusing scene. Of course, Ivan would have no idea that anything was particualrly out of the ordinary. It is Ivan's first day on the job after all. And Ivan is not a particularly deep thinker. Either way, I think it could have potential to be an amusing situation. Let me know if either of you, @Randimaxis and @Blitz Boom, think that sounds plausible... Kind Regards, Marxyhooves

Hello everyone. It turns out that my flight hrome to the UK was today not tomorrow! So, after a somewhat stressful, and occasionally harrowing mad dash to the airport, I'm now sitting in a very uncomfortable seat, feeling self-concious about my weight, waiting for takeoff. The point I am struggling to reach is that, while I am out of the United States, my access to the Internet will be sporadic at best, and so I might fall somewhat behind in posting. If I do end up falling by the wayside a bit, I just want to firstly, to apologiese in advance for the inconvenience this may cause people. Secondly, I wanted to give everyone permission to just sort of ignore or write around my OC, rather than just wait around awkwardly for me to post. Anyway, I'll try and pop back online when I can for the next few days. For the time being, I've managed to finally remove by shoes, and have nothing left to do but sit... well, not really so much as 'back and relax'... more straight up and awkwardky... And get stuck into my lovely new book! "Revolutions and Revolutionary Movements: The Fourth Edition" by James Defronzo, which is shaping up to be an excellent read. Anyway, just wanted to explain a sudden drop in my rate of posting for a few days, I hope you are all well, and I look forward to getting back in the swing of things when I return. Kind Regards, Marxyhooves

@@Randimaxis 'Ponyfeathers' Thought Ivan, the poster had not mentioned that there was an interview process, and somepony should definitely have given him some warning that the questions were going to be this hard... Oh this was not good... Slowly moving his head to track the stallion as he walked, Ivan took a few moments to think before attempting to answer the question, "Uhh..." Ivan then decided that he'd better take a few more moments to keep thinking. He was not entirely sure what to say at Luther Blackwater's strange outburst... But he had said that he liked Ivan, so that was a start. And he thought Ivan's name was funny. In all honestly, that he even knew what it meant had thrown Ivan through a bit of a loop. It wasn't often that one of these soft southerners knew the old mother tongue... Still, Ivan had been asked a question by his new employer, so he figured he had better set about answering it. "I... Uhh... Well I expect to work, da? And also be paid..." This was all going a little too fast for Ivan... But maybe the stallion had meant what Ivan was expecting to do specifically. Yes, that would make sense. In that case then, maybe, Ivan thought, he ought to elaborate a little more. Ivan was not normally a pony given to flights of fancy, but in this case, perhaps a little bit of speculation was in order. What this pony was looking for... what was it they called it? Oh, right, that was it, initiative... "I used to be guard... So, maybe, I guard things?" he started again, somewhat hesitantly, "I can also pull wagon, so maybe do that too sometimes." Ivan was beginning to get nervous at this point. In past experience, whenever his captain in the guard back in Stalliongrad had suggested that Ivan of all ponies take initiative, it usually meant that the captain was all out of ideas and that things were about to go pear-shaped. Not that things actually turned into pears, mind you, it's just that Ivan understood that ponies said that things were shaped like pears when they started to go wrong for some reason. Ivan was never really clear on that point, "Uhh... umm... pears... da..." Oh, right, Ivan had to answer the question. What was it Ivan expected to do? He had already said guarding things, and he mentioned pulling a wagon. Maybe pulling a wagon with gems in it this time? No, no, better not mention that bit, what else was there... "Soup!" Ivan hastened to add, "I am also expecting to be making soup! For I am good at making it, da..." It was at this point that the woefully underpowered locomotive of Ivan's intellectual processes finally stuttered and came to a halt after valiantly attempting to reach the summit of this mountain of far reaching intellectual speculation. Best put on the brakes now, before said locomotive began rolling backwards down said mountain. "So, da..." Ivan concluded, "I am expecting to work, guard things, pull wagons, and sometimes make soup..." This seemed something of a lacklustre finish to what had been, up till this point, by Ivan's standards anyway, a truly scintillating conversation... He just needed to think of one last thing... One last thing he expected to do to really prove that there was truly no other pony Luther Blackwater should look to besides Ivan Durakovich Ponihuiplet to get things he needed accomplished... "One last thing is expecting!" he suddenly blurted out, "Most important expectation, is expecting to be following all of boss-pony's orders, follow all orders without question! That... uh... that is all, da, that is all." 'Nailed it,' Ivan could not help but be inwardly proud of himself, his answers no doubt exceeded all expectations, this job was in the bag... definitely.