Treeglow Flicker

Okay. I made a pretty big promise to myself a little earlier in relation to something that I took as a big sign.

Really really wish this was a happy full of cheer status update.

I just fought off a panic attack that lasted a good couple of hours. I'm alright now, but it kind of once again highlighted a fear and vulnerability I have. A really serious one. The same sort of thing happened a couple of years ago under a worse circumstances. Luckily it wasn't anything on that sort of level this time. But all the same, it's something about myself that I really do need to address and talk about. For my own good. But properly and definitely not in the space of a status update. Sorry if it sounds a little worrying. It's just been something I have been dealing with for a lot of years and I don't think it's a good idea to keep it to myself anymore.

But all that being said. It's nothing to worry about in any sort of morbid or harmful sense. It's just, that I really REALLY need someone to listen and hear me. I'm not looking for advice or anything like that. I just need someone to listen to and acknowledge what I've been going through.

I kind of have hestitation and regrets writing this. But I'm pushing that Submit Status button because it's stupid to keep fighting alone and being shut away without anyone realising. I know I don't like talking about these sorts of things about myself and that I want people to just see the happy me. But I have to do this just in case everything does disappear and I never get the chance to tell anyone.

All this from just a sudden stupid loss of an internet connection earlier tonight...