The Historian

My current name is Mike and for obvious reasons, I really don't like it.

My Sweetie Belle plushie and my collection of Pokemon cards. I don't play or collect any Pokemon TCG stuff but I got a complete Base 1 set. Hard to give it up... My big ass collection of big box PC games is nice too and I won't give that up either.

I live in ye olde Missouri, on the KC side.

I don't even know what being genuinely happy really is. I tend not to talk much about it, but some of us do have a legitimate reason for all the existential misery.

I do it all the time. It's how I process certain things and help myself work through issues. If I never said anything to myself while troubleshooting issues, I'd never get anything done.

Furry for the last 18 or so years, C&C for the last 18 as well, MLP for the last 7... really about it. You might say Mario and Zelda for the last 28 if you really stretch things.

Daily. I don't think I can go a day without swearing. XD

I was throughout a large chunk of my 20s, but I am currently not. Thank Cadance.

Hit the snooze button a couple times, struggle to get out of bed, dick around on my phone, get out of bed late, take meds, take a shower if I have time, brush teeth then grab my shit and leave for work.

Considering I used to fart on my brother, yes... xD

Nothing works for me except medication. I have a serious case of chronic insomnia and if I don't take my OTC sleep aid and melatonin, I have a hard time falling asleep. It honestly sucks and I have been this way since I was a kid. I don't "get to sleep" easily.

I go to my maternal grandparents for a nice dinner.

Almost 35 and I snuggle a Sweetie Belle every night.

I hated shop. Worst class I've ever had. I had no interest in it whatsoever and still don't.

Only really play Call of Duty online. Sometimes C&C or Starcraft but that's rare. I like the campaigns but I suck at online. XD

Because it's usually watered down rock with absolutely no talent, no substance and no redeeming value. It's the southern version of really shitty pop music. However, some good country does exist. Check out Blackberry Smoke. Super good and I rather like it. And I hate country.

It took me a while to figure out what the hell was really going on, before I really understood it. So yeah, there was a lot of mights and maybes, and confusion about what that actually meant for me as a person. Acting like confusion doesn't exist is a severe disservice to everyone who struggles with it. Mine wasn't bad, thankfully, but I didn't not have a moment where I went, "yep, I like guys too" and a switch was flipped. That just doesn't happen. You're missing my point entirely. What I meant has nothing to do with actually being gay. Rather, I meant the social stigma that straight men have for showing affection towards fellow straight men, among many other things. There is still a large section of society that states men must keep everything to themselves, cannot show emotion, cannot show affection to anyone except a spouse or their children, must never show fear, must never admit to failure, etc. While this is slowly being dismantled, there is still that pressure on many, many men and even on boys. It's these things that put up a barrier for more guys to explore things a lot more. Men exploring is looked down upon but women exploring is just fine. It's a product of genuine toxic masculinity and it hurts men everywhere.

I'm never popular. Thank god for that.

Even if they did, I'm not mentally fit to serve.

It's complicated. On one hand, I live with constant depression so finding happiness is a struggle and a half. But on the other, starting my gender transition had made me a million times happier than I was before.

Hopefully the souls of my enemies.

I'm past drafting age, and mentally ill so I wouldn't even need to worry.

I will eventually. When my hair is longer and straightened out. I'll dye it a dark purple.

Pretty goddamn easy to be confused. It is not that black and white and never has been. Boiling it down to that shows a complete lack of understanding of the human psyche and what people experience. While I didn't catch any flak for it, I turned out to be bisexual after a long time of thinking I only liked girls. Then I started liking men a lot more and that was an odd revelation and extremely confusing for a long time. So yes, it's easy to be confused about your sexuality. On the topic at hand, this primarily boils down to societal pressure and actual toxic masculinity. Society says men aren't supposed to like each other too much or they're just total fags. It's a severe problem that honestly handicaps men from really having greater friendships, at least in the US. Not sure about everywhere else but in the US, men aren't supposed to show affection to other men and must not take their feelings seriously. Major hindrance for men everywhere. Honestly, it's really sad. I had to break away from some of those chains before I started transition since I fell into that trap a bit myself. I don't have to worry as much about it now, thank Celestia.

When people exist too close to me. It's like... can you just not? On a more serious note, interrupting me while I'm in the zone is a massive pet peeve of mine. Like "eff off, you just knocked me out of my focus!" Not understanding my tone is another big one. If I sound pissy, don't continue asking me stupid questions.